Husband now being charged

It is not necessary to change the locks which is extremely expensive. You can change the core which is a simple job requiring just a screwdriver. If you are not confident get a locksmith to do it for you. Keep the old core and keys. You can swap with friends.

Just wishing you the best of Luck and really hope you get the best advise. Have you phoned one of these women's charities who deal with this sort of thing? They might be able to suggest something you haven't thought of?
You have made that big step, keep walking towards Happiness.

Redhead56

You need to get an injunction order out against him because of the abuse. Change the locks it’s not actually his house. Surround yourself with your friends near you to keep you occupied. It will be a difficult wait getting sorted out but the freedom will be worth it.
I got out of a violent marriage I still have mental scars because of it.
You can do it be brave one day at a time you made the first move and well done. As for the neighbours don’t give them a second thought you are better than them. Let us know how you get on hold your head up high in court you will be fine. ?

Thank you Redhead. So sorry to hear how it has affected you. You are very brave zx

You need to get an injunction order out against him because of the abuse. Change the locks it’s not actually his house. Surround yourself with your friends near you to keep you occupied. It will be a difficult wait getting sorted out but the freedom will be worth it.
I got out of a violent marriage I still have mental scars because of it.
You can do it be brave one day at a time you made the first move and well done. As for the neighbours don’t give them a second thought you are better than them. Let us know how you get on hold your head up high in court you will be fine. ?

I can't thank you all enough for all your support and valuable advice It makes me so sad that so many of you or your DD have found themselves in this position. Tomorrow I will organise locks to be changed. Regarding the finances, I have been well and truly stitched up. He took early retirement a week before we married so the pension does not count!! Even his assets from the sale of his house don't count because he owned it before we married and more importantly, it was never the marital home whereas my home was. I can only hope that the exclusion clause regarding where the assets came from to buy the house count for something and the lawyer I have employed proves herself strong. If not, I will be changing lawyers. I never thought I would ever be in this position but proves it can happen to anyone, whether you are strong or not. I have been in touch before with woman's aid and the police domestic abuse support department have been lovely. I do think you are right re counselling and I will look into this tomorrow. At the moment, I am finding it difficult to see a happy future as I just think all of this will affect me for the rest of my life. Thank you all xxx

I would change the locks regardless of the law. They won’t put you in jail. Maybe get your knuckles wrapped but most likely nothing at all.
I agree with pp about gathering together any papers, financial information, sentimental items that you don’t want him to have but would go further and have a family member or very trusted friend keep these safe fir you. Also see what you can find with regard to your husband’s financial position.
I do think you are entitled to more than you think.
Also a good divorce lawyer, not a general lawyer. Woman’s Aid may advise.
Best wishes. You will get there …. I did.

Agree with others, change locks, get chains, and security. camera/bell. You can get them quite cheaply - needn't be the most expensive but can send alerts to your phone or Alexa. We changed DD2 locks with **head sitting watching in neighbours garden. Recently put eufy camera doorbells back and front and padlocked gate. Police also aware. She feels a bit safer. Also maybe lock on your bedroom door and a plan if he came near. Anything important store with a friend or ask DC to keep for you. Have a small case packed in case you have to leave quickly. But most important well done - you have accomplished the hardest bit and will have a better life from now on!

I changed the locks within a couple of hours of getting him out. Did it myself, it is easy. He must have lost his key, don't you think when he couldn't get in when I was not there. What a shame I didn't have a spare for him.

Susysue please don't concentrate on the fact that you fell for the charms of an abusive man. It takes incredible strength and courage to break free. Please concentrate on that.

Next steps are to do what you need to protect yourself. Change the locks. Get a restraining or similar order. Get counselling to help you understand you are not to blame.

I think you should get some advice on worst case scenarios in the divorce settlement. Resign yourself to that and hope you get a judge who rules more in your favour as it does happen. Anything truly precious, I would ask someone you trust to store for you for now.

Divorces are a rough road with abusive people, there are many organisations out there to support you through it. Please go to citizens advice in your area and they will be able to help with local support networks.

Well done, you really have proven your strength and courage.

If he stall has the keys to your house please change the locks ASAP

I am so sorry to hear of your dreadful ordeal. I would definitely change the locks for your own safety. He has been ordered to stay away from you so has no legal rights to come near your home so he can hardly make a complaint to the Police that his key no longer opens your door can he?
A previous suggestion about contacting Womens' Aid is a good one.They may even be able to suggest a good solicitor for you to use.

Ask the police for advice on security and make sure you follow it, fitting alarms and chains etc, and do not leave any accessible windows open when you are in the house.
Make an inventory of all your possessions and collect as many receipts as you can; it sounds as though he is intending to fight for everything even though he has no claim on them, he will claim homelessness etc which is what my friend's husband did, but she had put her house in his name as well, foolishly. Brace yourself for a long fight so you make sure he does not wear you down, As the house is in your name I don't think he has a claim as he has not contributed nor made improvements, but I doubt if you will see any of his investments.
A horrible time, but you have done the right thing.

Hi I'm not familiar with your previous post and I'm sorry to hear what has happened to you.
I was under the impression that pension accrued during the marriage counted as joint marital assets and so that may be worth looking into.
If you do not feel able to change all locks could you consider changing all but the front door lock (not forgetting windows) which might mean you would have less to worry about when it comes to securing the house when you go out and at night.

Surely you can put a chain on the outside door(s) ? Even if you can't change the locks.
The court has ordered him to stay away from you so he can't also have the right to turn up and walk in.

Locks on all room doors would be a good idea too, and do keep your phone on you at all times.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

So glad you are free!

Do not make a move w/o talking to a lawyer
Get counseling to heal from this
Do not make any big decisions in at least a year, till your judgement is clear and not influenced so much by this

So glad to hear that he has gone and that you contacted the Police re his abuse and frightening behaviour towards you susysue. Try to stay strong and fight for your rights. Good that you have the support of your children. Thinking of you. ?

Oh Susy I'm so sorry it's come to this, but it was on the cards, given what happened before.

I not sure what advice to give apart from not feeling bad, or that it's your fault; it's not, it's totally down to his unreasonable behaviour toward you. What's behind it is anyones guess, but he's really shown his true colours now and the law is behind you.

I know you can't change the locks, but could you put bolts top and bottom on the doors; it will help you feel more secure, especially at night? As for money I'm sure you could claim something if you explain your situation; Universal Credit maybe?

Keep going and one day you soon will be free from him. xx

It is ridiculous about the locks isn't it? But well done for being so brave, it can't have been easy.

I hope your poor wrist is better soon xx

I left the marital home. Of course my ex was told not to change the locks….. he did. Nothing was said from my solicitor.
I would not only change the locks I would have a camera fitted above all outside doors. If you can afford it have an alarm system fitted.

I had a speed dial number for police when I finally got my abusive, alcoholic husband out of our home. I wasn't allowed an alarm as I had only been threatened with violence but had not been physically attacked. I had to use the speed dial a couple of times and the response time was quick. They took time after these calls to make sure my children and I were secure. Get some good legal advice, change the locks and look after yourself.

As the house is in your sole name I believe you are legally entitled to change the locks on receipt of an occupation order as Oops has said. There is no charge for this. In the meantime, a secure chain or chains and extra locks, possibly a video for the front door, something like ‘ring’.

If he has claims on your house as the marital home surely you have some claim on his pension, monies etc. I would look for more specialist help.

Move all papers, credit cards, photographs, children's treasures, valuables etc etc, everything you don't want him to take away, into your bedroom and put a lock on your bedroom door.

You Must get legal advice, I think as the house is in your name only you can apply for an Occupation Order (Google it) if you get it you can change the locks.
But you urgently need a good Solicitor.

Keep the house as secure as you can and don’t answer the door unless you have an idea who’s there. You will get through this and you will have a life again.