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Husband is depressed and anxious - help please!

(27 Posts)
Philippa60 Fri 03-Sep-21 11:04:36

Hi all, this forum is wonderful and the collective wisdom here is amazing. I wonder if you can help me again?
My H has suffered from low grade depression most of his life. He is on medication.
Lately things have taken a real down turn (again) and anxiety is also in the mix now. Covid has played a role here - he is terrified of catching it and doesn't want to do much outside of the house, despite being fully vaccinated.
One of our children lives abroad and despite it being possible, he refuses to travel.
He actually said yesterday that he "hates his life".
All my suggestions are met with complete rejection.
He is in therapy and his medication is monitored by a psychiatrist.
He has so much that is good in his life but he simply cannot (will not?) see it.
I am honestly at the end of my rope here.
He is such a misery to live with, he doesn't provide any emotional warmth or support (but he is fine on the practical side, and does a lot around the house so I guess that is something to be grateful for).
He doesn't acknowledge the depth of the issue nor the impact it has on me and the rest of the family.
I'd really welcome suggestions - what can I do to help him and us?
Thank you!

valdali Sun 17-Oct-21 16:49:32

The advice about looking after yourself is very wise. I do feel sad for your husband, there must be something that would help - not solve it completely, but to give him a bit more interest in life. I don't know if there are any befriending volunteers or MIND volunteers who could give him one to one support? I realise they wouldn't be as knowledgeable as you or care as much as you, but there is so much baggage with close relationships, it's just sometimes a breath of fresh air to talk to a stranger who just wants to learn how you feel and see if they can help.Probably a daft suggestion, but reading your post you both seem to be doing all the obvious things. Best wishes.