Over 60’s how many still have sex

It sounds as if you don't have a good relationship and you are generally unhappy about that
Sex is only one part of it.

You don't have to announce that you want a chat, surely?
Just start saying what you want to say - "I feel as if we're more housemates than partners, these days." for instance, or whatever you want to say.

Focusing on sex, or its absence, doesn't have to be the main point.

I can’t see how anyone outside you and your partner can help. It is him you should be talking too.

I too am very private about personal issues, but was just a bit curious about the 'older person' comment. I have always been prudish, it is not something which came upon me with age

I think you are very brave Clio51 to post such a personal thread.
Show your dh the replies,it may give him food for thought
Hope things look up for you,in more ways than one.

Perhaps you found it easier to discuss it o this forum rather than face to face with someone Clio51. I believe GrandtanteJE65 offers excellent advice.

Ditto.

Lucca

I’m an older person for sure.I’m anything but prudish but as it happens I don’t like to discuss my own sex life but if others do that’s fine.

I’ve never really wanted discuss it, except with very close friends.
It just seems weird.

I’m an older person for sure.I’m anything but prudish but as it happens I don’t like to discuss my own sex life but if others do that’s fine.

When indeed.GillT57

Bluebellwould

The original post seems quite crude and odd to me. Is this a scam? Doesn’t sound like something an older person would write. Sincere apologies if genuine.

Older person???? When does one become an older person, prudish and unwilling to discuss sex?

Actually, maybe physical health affects how interested one is.

I would rather go to bed with my book.

GagaJo

My bloke, 70s, is still interested. Unfortunately for him, I'm not.

So comforting to know I'm not alone. Not interested and also physically exhausting.

A medical condition such as diabetes can cause erection issues. We didn’t have to have a conversation. We just continued being intimate and adjusting how we reached satisfaction. PIV isn’t necessary.

Petera, I echo his opinion! In my 40s it was an all controlling force. I'm glad to see the back of it.

GagaJo

My bloke, 70s, is still interested. Unfortunately for him, I'm not.

George Melly , On finding himself impotent at 70,

"Its wonderful, like being unchained from a lunatic."

Relationship isn’t good at the moment, lots of little things that’s building up with me about him

That may be a big part of the problem. He may be irritating you but if he realises that he is then it will be a damper on any intimacy.

Don't think about it for the time being; try to ignore the irritations and show him some love such as an occasional hug, a kiss in everyday life and show appreciation of anything nice he may do for you.
Start slowly, don't make it the most important thing in your relationship just yet.

In a loving relationship, sex is important Sharing each other is the ultimate gift.
To raise the subject on a Forum shows that the OP is concerned, and wants to do something to improve matters, and merits helpful advice.
If Viagra doesn't work, (It takes a little time. maybe make taking it part of a fun game. There are other ways, and some can be much quicker, should passion strike.

Give visual as well as verbal and physical encouragement, and above all, keep trying.
Ugly voluminous knickers weren't called passion killers for nothing!
Encourage him to pleasure you in any way that you enjoy, and encourage him to enjoy it as well.
That might be start of something good!

Not just a British thing sodapop obviously a GN thing too, by the looks of it. Yet we discuss so many other bodily functions on here, beats me.
As others have said OP, you need a good chat, about expressions of love, which occur in many ways of intimacy, for us the act of making love, in various forms, is part of our intimacy and is special. Not so for everyone, but it’s the active agreement that’s important, I wish you well.

nanna8

Probably someone doing a PhD thesis.

Not in the least. This poster has posted before.

Is he depressed?
Anxious?
Does he have work problems?

All kinds of outside factors could affect him.

Puzzled I am too

On the face of it, this post is rather sad, but maybe I'm sentimental.
We are all different, and our bodies age in different rates and ways, but it does seem a bit young, in a loving relationship to stop, unless you absolutely have to..
The OP is concerned and is brave enough to raise the subject.
A trouble shared is a trouble halved is a good axiom.
If you don't talk about it, to each other, and to others who have travelled the same road, you will never find solution to the problem.
Others will have met the same or a similar problem and found at least a partial if not a complete solution, which they might share with you..
Years ago, when we had a problem, S i L said something which solved our problem, and stands us in good stead many years on. Consequently, we still enjoy each other's closeness, although older than the OP. Not as frequently, but we still enjoy being extremely close.
If he has had a problem, and as we age, virtually all men do, there are ways of coping, medicines, or rings.
Build up his confidence, and make sure that you say that you are still attracted.
For ladies, and for both, lubricants are almost essential.
In the context of loving and gentle relationship, it should be possible gradually to regain some of the passion of younger years. tell each other what you fantasize about
Very gently, by word and deed, increase each others confidence. You both need to gain confidence in your bodies and in each other. Compliment each other.
Dress and eventually, undress, to impress.
It may be that the ultimate will elude you, both, but find other ways to give, and receive, pleasure,
It is not called intimacy for nothing.
Work at it, gently, and hopefully you will reach a satisfactory conclusion.

Bluebell
I may not of used the correct terminology but I don’t think what I have written nobody
Would be offended or not of heard before
Why wouldn’t someone in their 60’s write about their sex life & relationship?
Blossoming
We use usernames! Nobody knows us, that that was the whole idea you can discuss what you what ?
Why did you read my thread then? We’re all different what you wouldn’t do doesn’t mean I won’t

Thing that bothering me now is, in the past when things have needed to be said I usd the term
“I think we need to have a chat/talk” and now if I come out with that statement he says
“Oh this isn’t going to end in an argument is it, and we end up falling out”
Mainly because we don’t get anywhere!

So what words can I use to mention things
Not just sex ladies ?

We are definitely in your age group and still enjoy regular, satisfying sex with each other.

Most men experience a wilting erection at some point, and most of them are horribly embarrassed by it, quite frequently to the point of trying to avoid sex so as not to "fail" again.

In the same way any woman who has been frigid for a while will be hesitant to get back into the water.

You need to find a way of helping your husband regain his confidence in himself.

Obviously, your relationship won't be good right now, as you are feeling frustrated due to the lack of sex and he probably is too.

Can you sit down and discuss the matter frankly and kindly with each other?

You feel he feels that if he doesn't want sex, you won't or shouldn't want it either. This to me would be an odd attitude for any man to take, but perhaps he has ignored your wishes in other matters previously?

Ask him if he misses sex and say openly that you miss sex with him then try to discuss what you can do about it.

I am sure it was hard broaching this subject here, but unfortunately you made it sound as if your only answer to his concern about not getting or sustaining an erection was rather a snub. Being told to go and see his doctor probably wasn't the answer your husband was looking for.

There are other ways of giving and receiving affection than through sex, as you know - you could perhaps agree to try some of them, or simply agree that sexual satisfaction for either men or women does not necessarily depend on a penis being introduced into a vagina.