My daughter was not invited on holidays.

Maybe they want a smaller group? Maybe they don't want to deal with children on the holiday? Maybe they see it as giving you a break? Maybe they just want time with you undistracted?

I don't think they've done anything wrong. You could ask if you could invite your daughter along but be prepared for a no.

I think that asking puts them in an awkward position to be honest.
Saying "no" isn't easy.

It might make for a less happy trip if they accept them along with a bit of a grudge?

I agree with Bibbity and FarNorth

Are you invited by the host or you are a hostess of the vacation?

Can someone at home mind the 4 year old and just the 25 year old go ? A lot of people don’t particularly like holidays with young children around because they need looking after and you can’t just relax.

paddyann54

Is this the same partner who wants you to split your money between her children and your daughter evenly? Although you haven't been together long and wanted you to stop helping your daughter and gc with housing? I really think this partner wants rid of YOUR family in favour of her own and this "holiday" is a step on the way .

A very interesting point. I too remember OP posting about this.

I was about to say the same thing.

Obviously we only get a small part of any story on here, but from what we already know, the dynamics of this relationship appear to be very skewed in favour of your partner and her family at the expense of yours.

Is everyone paying for themselves?

Is everyone paying for themselves?

Yes. It's in the OP.

I too remember some of your back story and it was very much that you were feeling it was not an equal partnership and I think this is just an addition I think you really need to sit down and have a long hard talk with your partner because you have had other things making you uneasy about the relationship before

Yes, I remember too, didn’t at first. It seems OP and partner are not on the same page and have a lot to discuss.

I can’t see why they would expect your daughter and two granddaughters to go, it changes the dynamic of adult holiday.

there's more to this than meets the eye from OP.
see Paddyanne's point above.
don't put your head further in the noose, OP.

It does change the dynamic of the holiday, but at the very least the daughter could have been invited. If she had to refuse for whatever reason, fair enough, but I would be hurt in the circumstances if my daughter was left out of something that included my partner's family.

I agree with the people who are saying that it's time for a serious discussion - not just about the holiday, but about the basis of the relationship. It worries me that you can see that there are issues with this and with the things you discussed in your last post, but you aren't able to discuss them with the woman you love.

But why does it change anything?
How close are they to the daughter?

If the OP wants her daughter to have a holiday then organise one.

This all seems so enmeshed. She is an adult. It is expected to have a life independent of her.