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Constant sadness and confusion

(29 Posts)
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Foxgloveandroses Tue 05-Oct-21 18:55:40

I'm 51, my father died just before Christmas 2020. I feel so flat nothing seems to shift that feeling. The most troubling thing is though I miss my DS and DD so much. This started before the pandemic but got worse and worse. I live with my DH some 4 to 5 hours drive from them.
I have been wanting for so long to move closer but I know my DH will not be supportive of this. The pull towards them is overwhelming though.
I know I can't go yet as I have 3 years before I can retire from my job with a small pension of my own. I also have to consider my mother who lives and hour or so away from me. However in the future if I still feel this way I know I will just have to go. I don't want to live in their pockets maybe an hour a way, just so I can get to them if necessary and so I can meet up with them for the day.
I just need to know if I sound ridiculous, or is the way I'm feeling ok and does my idea of moving nearer to them seem unreasonable? I feel so sad and confused. If my husband would agree to considering this in future I think I'd feel so much more relaxed and settled, I don't know how to approach it with out him going stubborn and shutting down. If I still feel like this in years to come I almost feel I would have to up and leave him.

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Doodle Wed 06-Oct-21 21:48:14

Kind post GSM obviously something you can empathise with which is always helpful to other posters.

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Germanshepherdsmum Wed 06-Oct-21 22:26:51

Thanks Doodle. Something about Foxglove’s post really struck a chord with me, perhaps it takes sadness to recognise it in others. I hope she will achieve happiness.

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Skydancer Fri 08-Oct-21 22:46:40

Why do your AC both live near one another? Also your DH’s family? Were you the one who moved away? If I were you I’d go to be near them. As someone said, men don’t often understand the maternal bond. Your DH will probably come round to the idea. My DH says men just go along with women’s ideas for a quiet life. smile. Your elderly Mum would probably love to be near her GC. I’d be totally miserable if I was too far from my AC. If you have a good relationship with them, which I think you must have, then find a way to go. You will be happier and you may have many decades ahead of you so make the move now is my advice.

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