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Step-parenting dilemma

(14 Posts)
LuvsPlant Fri 12-Nov-21 16:21:35

My 28 year old step daughter has down syndrome. she receives income from SSI and received her stimulus money last year. Her mother (ex-wife) controls her finances.

We have a blended family of 4. We would like to vacation but cannot afford airfare for the whole family. Is it fair to expect the disabled adult to pay for her airfare as the rest of the kids would as well?

MissAdventure Fri 12-Nov-21 16:33:07

I think that provided she knows and will enjoy the holiday, then there is no reason why not.
As long as she will get enjoyment, and there isn't anything she would enjoy more.

Hithere Fri 12-Nov-21 16:43:25

Is the SSI all allocated to cover her daily needs?

I dont think income comparisons are applicable here.
Your SDaughter's income progression is not going to grow as much as the other AC

Oopsadaisy1 Fri 12-Nov-21 16:44:04

If everyone else is paying for themselves I can’t see any problem with her paying her share.

MercuryQueen Fri 12-Nov-21 20:09:39

My understanding (And please correct me if I'm wrong!) is that those on SSI aren't allowed to have more than a certain amount of savings, and a limit on what they can earn. SSI is to cover their living expenses.

If your stepdaughter were to use her SSI to pay for the trip, how are her expenses going to be covered?

Allsorts Fri 12-Nov-21 20:16:10

Is he4 income comparable to the other siblings? If it is and she can afford it then yes.m

CanadianGran Fri 12-Nov-21 23:15:15

I think if you put it to her mother that you are covering some of the costs (lodging and food), you would love her to come if she can cover airfare. The most she can do is say that stepdaughter can't afford it, then you have plenty of time to save.

freedomfromthepast Sat 13-Nov-21 04:14:28

If her only income is her SSI, then I would say no to paying for her own ticket. However, if her stimulus would cover the ticket then that money could be used to purchase a ticket.

If I were a sibling, I would suggest that maybe everyone could help pitch in the help with the ticket, though it certainly would not be expected.

I am a bit of a softie though. and understand that not everyone thinks the way I do nor could everyone afford to help.

sodapop Sat 13-Nov-21 07:31:52

Is your step daughter able to make her own decisions Luvsplants if so then talk to her about it.
I see no reason why an adult family member should not pay her own way as others would expect to do.

Shelflife Sat 13-Nov-21 08:11:36

I agree , if your step daughter can afford it why not ? She is adult and if she is capable of understanding where her money is being spent it would be patronizing to pay for her.

Thistlelass Tue 16-Nov-21 00:42:09

She will have her social security benefit and P SIP on top. Neither mum may hold Power of Attorney over welfare and financial matters. So rhe young woman would have been deemed lacking in capacity to make choices like this. This needs to be checked out but if it would be a good experience for her, the mum may agree to her funds being used.

welbeck Tue 16-Nov-21 01:16:45

as this is a disabled person, i don't think the situation is comparable to other AC, who presumably have good earning potential.
couldn't everyone chip in to help pay.
what does her mother think.

MissAdventure Tue 16-Nov-21 01:20:13

Its pip.
The I stands for independence.
It is exactly so that disabled people who are able have autonomy over their lives, and sent treated like children.

sodapop Tue 16-Nov-21 08:58:39

Exactly MissA would we be talking about this if the person concerned didn't have Downs.