Ongoing strained relationship with Son

Edge26

DiscoDancer1975,
Yes I am struggling, it is really hard for me and for my OH, but I am NOT giving in. My son would love it if my OH and me parted as he tends to put the blame on him ( he is not my son's father and we have been together for 18 years )

Good. All the more reason for you to hold your ground. You deserve your own life. We’re not here just to make life easier for our grown up children we’ve still got ours to live.

Hope it all works out for you.

DiscoDancer1975,
Yes I am struggling, it is really hard for me and for my OH, but I am NOT giving in. My son would love it if my OH and me parted as he tends to put the blame on him ( he is not my son's father and we have been together for 18 years )

love03,
yes, I think you are right, he does test me, if they ask me favours and I oblige I am the best mother but woe betide if I don't. I can't even explain myself to him as he always goes off on one. He is always playing me off against my OH as he says I am putting him first before him and GC. I am retired but have quite a busy life and he thinks I am being unreasonable about time to ourselves.

I think I remember you. You’re really struggling aren’t you, but you must put yourselves first. Your son is blackmailing you, there’s no other way of looking at it.

If you keep giving in, he’ll keep doing it. You have every right to say ‘no’. He needs to learn respect, and perhaps keeping your distance will help him do this.

You have every right to say “ no “. You have made it clear that you do not want to babysit on Sundays. I recognise this was a one off and they wanted to be with DSs in laws for a special reason. I feel your son should have made that clear to you when he asked you to sit with his Children - you would then have been in a position to make an exception.,You provide childcare twice a week that is very generous indeed and I hope your DIL and DS appreciate that ? I think AC sometimes forget that if GPs provide childcare they are doing their AC a favour , it is not the other way round !!

I get the strong impression that there has been a lot going on for a while. I do not understand why your son did not give the reason as to why you were asked to babysit last Sunday? It is almost like he was wanting? testing you? to say no? We would all make allowances to our 'own time' if it was for a specific 'one off'. I really find this strange. Do you feel able or want to put this to him? It could clear the air this time for you.