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Smacking children

(287 Posts)
Iam64 Thu 27-Jan-22 21:08:57

Is it ever ok to smack a child?
It’s often said children were better behaved when smacking was seen as reasonable, indeed responsible chastisement.

My mother was the oldest of four, she was born in 1922, they weren’t smacked. My dad said his house was the only one on the street that didn’t have a strap hanging on the back door to belt the children with.
They didn’t smack us children. We haven’t smacked ours. My children don’t smack their children either
So - no I do not believe smacking children is ok. There are much more effective, kinder and less frightening ways to set expectations about behaviour

Summerlove Thu 27-Jan-22 21:13:31

According to some - you can always tell the children who weren’t smacked in public.

So, you must have been a hell raiser and just pretending you were well behaved. ???

crazyH Thu 27-Jan-22 21:14:21

Iam64, there’s a similar veined discussion titled grown up children accuse me……

Bibbity Thu 27-Jan-22 21:19:48

Science has made it very clear that smacking is not OK.

The way some go on here there was never a naughty child or adult in prison! Couldn't have been as a good old fashioned assaulted stopped all of that.

I mean again science says the opposite but let's not dwell on that!

halfpint1 Thu 27-Jan-22 21:23:44

Yes this has been touched on by the other thread but it is an interesting point. I know I did smack but infrequently (4 children) and more out of fright when they did something stupidly dangerous ,road ignorance for example.
My eldest says she was abused because I made her eat cabbage even when she cried!

Sara1954 Thu 27-Jan-22 21:25:03

I imagine a lot of our generation smacked our children from time to time, and I imagine that a lot of us, myself included, wish they hadn’t.
I have a clear image of one of my cousins having her knickers pulled down, and her bottom smacked really hard, can’t remember what she did.

Bibbity Thu 27-Jan-22 21:26:21

"My eldest says she was abused because I made her eat cabbage even when she cried!"

That is actually very damaging and something else that has been extensively looked into. It can increase the risks of Eating disorders and is somewhat abusive.

To reverse it how would you feel if I used my power to force you to eat something against your will.

Blossoming Thu 27-Jan-22 21:26:41

It’s never OK.

Iam64 Thu 27-Jan-22 21:27:24

CrazyH, yes it was reading that thread that prompted me to start this one. I didn’t want to post there, didn’t want to add to the OPs distress
Sumner love ?

The point about prisons is well made. The majority of people in prison didn’t come from anti smacking households

Bibbity Thu 27-Jan-22 21:29:30

Also the fact it was legal does not make it any less damaging. Many laws come have come in later in the years. That doesn't make the crimes any less awful for the victims.

crazyH Thu 27-Jan-22 21:31:15

Iam64 ?

Grandma70s Thu 27-Jan-22 21:34:11

I smacked my children very occasionally, when I was desperate and exhausted, and very much wish I hadn’t. I am ashamed it.

I was never smacked. My mother said she smacked my brother occasionally, but only because she had no idea how to cope with him. Like me, she was ashamed of it. We saw it as failure.

My grandchildren are never smacked.

How can hitting a child ever be right?

Sara1954 Thu 27-Jan-22 21:40:15

Although it was always the big threat, I can’t remember my dad ever smacking us, my mother did quite often, but frankly, that was preferable to having to sit on the stairs for hours, or endure the silent treatment.

BigBertha1 Thu 27-Jan-22 21:42:03

My mother would slap me across the tops of my legs or crack them with a wet tea towel like a whip. Dad never smacked me even though she told him to. Non of my brothers or my sister were smacked. I must have been a very bad girl!

BigBertha1 Thu 27-Jan-22 21:42:33

I didn't smack my daughter.

MissAdventure Thu 27-Jan-22 21:46:30

I don't think it's the worst thing in the world.
Years ago, a friend told me that her daughter wet her knickers when her dad spoke to her in "the voice".
I dont find that to be any more healthy.

Sago Thu 27-Jan-22 21:50:10

There is no excuse, no child should ever be smacked.

VioletSky Thu 27-Jan-22 21:52:45

I agree Iam64

I think I'm too laid back as a parent sometimes but my children are turning out ok

MissAdventure Thu 27-Jan-22 21:53:22

As do most.

Anniebach Thu 27-Jan-22 21:55:33

How is it known the majority in prison didn’t come from
anti smacking homes ?

MissAdventure Thu 27-Jan-22 21:59:05

There are many, many forms of abuse.
To focus on just one is very narrow minded.
Then we end up with view that without physically knocking someone around, they must be somehow complicit in their own abuse.

BlueBelle Thu 27-Jan-22 22:07:38

I don’t agree with smacking at all I was never never smoked and was a pretty well behaved kid although I m sure I had my moments
I never ever smacked my kids and they ve all grown up well adjusted None of my grandkids have ever been smacked
It’s just not necessary
If you can’t handle a child without raising your hand then it’s you with the problem

Serendipity22 Thu 27-Jan-22 22:11:03

I remember my dad smacking me ( only time i remember) and he said "Now that hurt me more than it hurt you."

I remember thinking how has that hurt you ! My backside is stinging.

I did smack my children's legs yes, i cant say that i have regrets over it because it was few and far between, it happened, they haven't turned against me for it.

ginny Thu 27-Jan-22 22:13:31

I was never smacked nor did I smack my children . They do not smack theirs either.
Violence is never acceptable.
There are many more ways to show children that certain behaviour is not acceptable and that actions have repercussions.

Granmarderby10 Thu 27-Jan-22 22:22:07

halfpint1 I remember the school dinner “ladies” in their pink overall dresses “persuading” children to eat the heap of boiled-to-death dock leaves masquerading as cabbage. No pudding until it’s all eaten…..they’d be sobbing.
Horrible bullies, but just doing their job I suppose…..
I rather like cabbage now but I can cook
And the school puds were ? yummy.