Such different attitudes to cooking/food is causing hugh rift between us

Perhaps some sort of compromise is required, after all someone bedridden only has meals to look forward to, and he is obviously used to the finer things in life! Perhaps you could offer to cook him one of his meals, under his full instructions, once a week, and resort to something like the 'Hello Fresh' meals with come with everything ready to go and a recipe, letting him choose what he fancies? And perhaps he can settle for a well cooked egg and chips once a week too, you need some time off!

What about using those pre-prepared meals, such as Gousto? They come with all the ingredients and you just do the actual cooking.

If your Dh wants meat, just add a chicken breast or piece of fish.

Absolutely love a well made platter of egg and chips (home made of course)

I'm like you bohemian, egg n chips, cheese on toast are about my drop. Luckily DH likes my meals.
BUT I do feel upstaged by my grandson who produces gourmet meals like your DH used to.
Does he accept your limitations? Does he realise if we could all cook like him he wouldn't be appreciated? Possibly not.
I make a big effort once a week, on a Sunday, and I admit I buy ready meals on several other days. There are some amazing frozen foods in shops like M&S but Iceland comes up trumps too.
They can often be 'disguised' by decanting into my own dishes and plates - and I sometimes say things like - this is just a few bits and pieces I've found in the freezer. (well its not exactly a lie - is it?)
I also rely a lot on Delia Smith's "How to Cheat at Cooking".
Do try not to get stressed.

Poor you and poor Mr B. I also think there has to be compromise. My daughter uses Hello Fresh and Gusto (because she lives alone, likes her food and works very long hours!) and she says the meals are really good. They are quick and easy to prepare and although not a veggie, she often orders the veggie options. They are not cheap but there is no waste and I think they are quite healthy too. If I were bed ridden, my meals would be very important to me and I would get very depressed if I got meals I didn't like.

I’m sorry your DH is bedridden, this cannot be ideal for either of you.

Lots of good suggestions above.

Lots of talking and a willingness to compromise must be the way forward.
Meal times should not become a battleground. I do not know your DH situation and please forgive me if I’m speaking out of turn, but perhaps if he only sticks to positive comments regarding your meals? Even if it’s only a throw away comment like ‘perfect chips’!

In our house we often eat meals then say to each other ‘well that was fine dear’. What we actually mean is it was a basic meal eaten to fill up a hungry tum!

I buy packs in Waitrose and Aldi etc which supplies the ingredients for eg Thai chicken curry and I add extra vegetables such as mushrooms, celery and carrots to give me more food which usually lasts 3 days for me.

I like cooking a curry but I never have the correct spices so for me this is an easier option and does not cost a fortune.

I expect Mr Boheminan's complaints are an expression of frustration. I do get it. It wasn't until I got quite annoyed with MrB that he actually began to make an effort to make tea as I like it. This was after he'd had ~20 of marriage to notice how I like my tea.

So, yeah, people who are suggesting some kind of compromise have it right. There is a happy (well, not unhappy) medium between cordon bleu and dead plain. Perhaps Mr Boh will accept some plain meals with grace if he thinks you are making an effort to give him what he likes.

Good luck!

agree with charleygirl above.
you can get good frozen/ chilled meals from lidl, aldi etc and add some xtra veggies/salad.

You can also buy in prepared meals which go straight from freezer to microwave or oven. My neighbour lives alone and admits to never having been a very good cook, and doesn’t really enjoy cooking. She has a delivery from Wiltshire Farm Foods every couple of months and says the quality and range of dishes is excellent. Might take some of the strain out of it, as you could order a mix of veggie and carnivore meals.

So sorry your husband is bedbound. I do think in fairness to you both you have to be frank with him and make him fully comprehend that this is an issue and ask him how you should both resolve it perhaps consider the excellent suggestions above. As frustrating as it is for him you too have to be considered as a very important person yourself.

i don't think much of wiltshire farm foods. bit pricey for small portions, average quality, rather boring.
i prefer parsley box.
but better options for foodies from supermarkets frozen range.

was bemused by comment above that,
>You can also buy in prepared meals which go straight from freezer to microwave<
as if it's a revelation; isn't that what most people do most of the time anyway??

Does anyone else think those ready prepared meals are far too small? I very rarely buy them for that reason - I do also enjoy cooking (not quite as much as I used to, but still willing to cook from scratch). Are you ok with cooking a Sunday roast? You could have it too, but with a vegetarian meat substitute or a vegetarian pie? Once you know what you are doing, roasts are relatively easy and usually well received! I'm not well informed about vegetarian dishes, but couldn't you make a ragu or cottage pie with a quorn meat substitute? Simple food I know, but if cooked well, very welcome.

Does anyone else think those ready prepared meals are far too small?

I don't buy prepared meals (except, occasionally, fish and chips – can't remember the last time) so I couldn't say but I do think people's perception of what is a 'normal' amount of food has changed over the years, which partly explains why there is an obesity problem.

They are a bit on the small side and lacking substance sometimes. If you are active and don’t snack ( don’t do snacks myself) you will be hungry it’s healthy.

I think small portions should be available to buy for small appetites and children as well as small tins of tomatoes, baked beans, peas, for those cooking for one. They used to be??‍♀️

Sadly good old shepherds/cottage pie as a ready meal is always a disappointment when compared to the real thing imo of course.

I'm sorry to hear about your DH, Boheminan

Does anyone else think those ready prepared meals are far too small
I think they used to be but have got much larger in recent years (or perhaps we don't eat as much)
I really don't like any ready meals, even M&S, with potato as it always seeems gloopy compared to home-made mash.

Can you buy a couple of those squirty bottles they use on the cookery programmes and squirt a few dots of some sauce or other around the edges to make his meal look pretty? Use a larger plate and spacing the food out might make it look more appealing.
Or put some of it eg the veg, in ramekins so it's not all on the plate together?

Just as a practical thing: Get a decent small joint or chicken, and roast or pot-roast it.
Make your veggie stuff, and serve with a slice or two of above. You can also make gravy and freeze some slices in that (works well with lamb & pork)
Gammon & chicken are excellent for this.

If you can afford to invest in a vac-packer, then you can vac-pack the cold left-over meat and it will keep 4-5 days.

Also, using chilli as an example - make your veg chilli, and whilst doing so, cook up some mince alongside. Freeze some for you, and mix the mince into the rest for him.

I think when you are upset about something, your 'problem solving brain' can freeze - hope this frees it up a bit!

I’m with you as I love plain and simple food. Yummy egg and chips. Sorry I have no solution.

Sorry folks, but as a veggie, the thought of cooking meat turns my stomach.

Baggs

^Does anyone else think those ready prepared meals are far too small?^

I don't buy prepared meals (except, occasionally, fish and chips – can't remember the last time) so I couldn't say but I do think people's perception of what is a 'normal' amount of food has changed over the years, which partly explains why there is an obesity problem.

Baggs I'm under 8 stone! So, I'm not over-eating. I just find the portions small and the meals generally not really a patch on homecooking (though there are a few exceptions).

Thank you for your responses. There should be a way of compromising. He loves authentic dishes with mysterious (to me) exotic ingredients, he'll complain over anything that doesn't contain his favourite noodles/rice/hot sauce. He will not eat a 'plain meal'. He used to do the cooking before he was ill and although I didn't always enjoy it, I'd eat it.

It's good his appetite's up, but the psychological effect it's having being constantly criticized is causing me misery. Eating meals together to me is an important part of interacting, but we don't do that anymore.

Ready meals are brilliant, I'll eat them, but Mr B wants the real authentic deal, cooked from scratch.

I've been advised that a lot of his behaviour is due to his illness, the food fad is the tip of the iceberg.

I'm sorry that your husband is bed-bound, that must be very difficult for you both.

I can understand you saying the situation is becoming a serious issue. Being a real foodie I would be crushed to be served the likes of egg & chips on a regular basis. But if you're not interested in food it's no use your husband expecting 'culinary works of art' - he must know that that's not realistic and stressful for you.

Lots of good advice above regarding Hello Fresh, Gousto and some supermarket ready meals. You could do a weekly roast, say chicken for DH and veggie pie for you - make enough for another day, it can be reheated in the microwave and served two days later with shop bought vegetarian gravy for both. Also have a takeaway once a week, or more often if your budget allows.

For lighter meals you can both have panini/toasties/wraps with interesting fillings and shop bought soup.

Good luck!

Ready meals are very boring after a while. Microwave meals are not good for people with CKD. Parsley meals are dreadful, tasteless and just plain awful.
Imagine being bedbound and the only highlight is a well cooked meal. Chicken comes in a bag for roasting - you don't even have to touch it. Roast vegetables are delicious
Next day chicken casserole.