Son in law

Amanda I think you are being very kind, for a long time he was like a son to you. Just try to be careful of your daughter feelings, she might not want that. I do feel sorry that sil has no one though.

I don’t see anything wrong with it. Just because he’s not your son doesn’t mean you can’t care for him. He’s done nothing wrong and is a lovely man you say. Why on earth shouldn’t you help him out just because he’s not your flesh and blood? I’d do the same.

It might make things difficult, but I would talk to your daughter to see how she feels. Is it a temporary stay until he sorts somewhere else. You could also support him in finding somewhere to stay, I suspect you are worried how this will affect him mentally if he has no other family or friends. Also, you are very fond of him but living under your roof 24/7 is different. On balance I would help him to find somewhere and support him that way, he has to make his own way now. Good luck.

I understand your connection to poor guy but he needs to get organized and move on with his own ambitions.lodging with you is going to repress his progress. I'd make it very clear that he's always welcome to visit and that he has our friendship always of that's the case , after all he's your GK father and if he's done no wrong deserves respect and consideration .having said that, go no further, your DD is doing what many do after hitching up very young , I did same, had my youth in my 30s if you like, once I split from an unfaithful selfish spouse. Stay friends .

Deedaa

My son and his partner moved in with me when DH died. They have an 8 year old son. Their relationship had begun to break down and she moved into a flat on her own. GS spent half the week with us and the other half with her. Now she has been evicted because the flat has been sold and she is staying with us. I've told the Council she can stay for a month but now they have said if she's living with us they don't need to house her. She's got no family in this country, affordable private rentals round here are like hens teeth and, while this situation isn't ideal for any of us, I don't want the mother of my grandson sofa surfing with random acquaintances As I say it isn't ideal for any of us but it's the best we can do at the moment.

Much respect Deedaa. GS mummy does need your support regardless of DS situation , again if no wrongdoing occurred why should she be left high and dry? GS will see your generous spirit and learn from your actions, all good . I'd be doing everything to assist her independence too. Hope she finds her feet and resolves her predicament to everyone's benefit.xx

I was (and still am) determined not to fall out with my ex son-in-law, for my grandson's sake, but I think having him move into my spare room would irreversibly alienate my daughter, and that would be even more detrimental to the child.

If you want to continue to have a good relationship with your daughter don't even consider it! I speak from experience as following my separation from my husband my mother took his side and our relationship was never the same and still isn't 20 years later. I'm not saying you have to stop seeing him but be very careful and remain neutral. I'm sure you don't want your daughter to feel she can't talk to you anymore in case what she says gets back to him.