Franbern
My brother was born 12 months after my parents wedding. Back in the late 1920's little way of preventing this. My Mother became a doting Mum, and my Dad, still only in his early twenties really resented how much time she spent on the baby, His own father had died during the Spanish flu outbreak when my Dad was just entering his teens, so he had no idea how a good father would act. I have heard, from aunts that he was over strict with my brother, and this caused a life time of resentment between them.
I was born, planned, nearly twelve years later. My Dad (in his eyes) was the first man in the world to have fathered a daughter. He did dote on me, but was also very strict. My Mum was always my 'go-to' parent.
As the bad relationship between my Dad and brother worsened, I became the 'golden child' and so often was told, that I would not let them down like my brother had. I idolised my older brother, so it was pretty difficult for me. In order 'not to let my parents down', I soon learned only to do whatever I knew I could succeed at - which greatly affected my time at school.
Being the 'golden child' in the family can be just as bad for both sides.
My brother had done one of his many disappearing acts, when my Dad died. He had been around when Mum died, had for a few weeks taken our bereft father under wing, then followed his normal course, borrowed a sum of money and disappeared.
Several years later, my brother very suddenly contacted me. He was old, and lonely - (he had abandoned his wife and children many years earlier). For the next few years he made himself very much a part of my life again (ringing me most days), and that of my older AC. Indeed, when he died following an operation it was my eldest daughter who had held his hand on his way to theatre.
Of his own three children, he had never ever even seen the youngest - he carried chips on his shoulders the size of mountains about that very early treatment of him by our Dad.
I have contacts with his three children, two of them now g.parents - I did try very hard not to have favourites amongst my own six - and still work hard at keeping good relationships with them all.
My father did want to be a good Dad, just had some strange ideas as to what that meant with his first born.
I am similar to you Franbern. My brother was born at the beginning of WW2 and I was born five years later. My father was in the army during the world so he and my brother never had a strong bond and I was ‘Daddy’s Little Girl’ - the song of the same name by Donald Peers was my Dad’s favourite song. Of course I thought it was wonderful until one day I was out playing and one of my brother’s friends called out that I was ‘Daddy’s little pet’ and things were never the same again. My brother and I did have a reasonable relationship when we were both in our teens but grew apart for reasons I won’t go into and my father and brother were never close. I haven’t seen my brother since we went to scatter my mother’s ashes 27 years ago. We exchange cards and the occasional letter but he has made it clear he doesn’t want things to go any further than that. When I had children I vowed they would be treated the same as far as possible and they would both know they were loved and valued by both their parents; I think we have succeeded although it is difficult because one son has three children and the other is childless. As Franbern says there are two sides to the story, I was a sensitive child and always carried a sense of guilt about the differences between how I was treated by my father compared to my brother.