snowberryZ
Probably not a popular opinion, but the way I look at it, we women often manage to find time to do things during the day that we 'don't want'
Cleaning the toilet, ironing, food shopping, to name a few. None of those things are pleasant.
So if you can find time to do those things, is it really so bad to find half an hour of your time once in a while to keep him happy?
For the sake of the marriage?
Good grief! - I would have hoped that having sex was in a different league from cleaning the toilet! It has to be mutually agreed and mutually pleasurable. Otherwise it is on the level of 2 dogs mating - we are humans for goodness sake.
No-one, male or female, should ever have sex when they do not wish to - there is a word for being forced to have sex against your will. There is more than one way to force someone to have sex against their will - it need not necessarily involve physical strength - it can involve emotional blackmail or sulking. Have a look on Mumsnet!
Clearly there is an incompatibility here that needs talking over; but in the final analysis, you should not agree to having sex with your OH if you do not wish to. Difficult for him if he feels differently, but he should not want to have sex with you against your wishes, or if he knows you are just going through the motions. That is far from normal.
The only way forward is by discussion to see if some sort of compromise can be found. I am sure he knows you are not enjoying it and do not want to do it, so he should not persist without engaging in a proper conversation with you about it to find out what YOU want.
I suffered for years with a man whose brain degenerative disease caused hypersexuality - I was under permanent siege - it was utter misery. There was no way of having a sensible discussion with him about it because the poor man was ill. You do have that option and that is the way to go.
I truly send you lots of good wishes and hope that you can have this discussion and reach a satisfactory arrangement that suits you both. Sexual incompatibility is very common indeed, so you are not alone. There will be a way forward.
