Relationship with Son.

That must be so hard, .

What a difficult decision that must have been. My heart aches for you

So sorry things have come to this Edge26 that must have been hard but you have to take care of yourself.

Very difficukt for you but youve done the right thing . We're all here for you Im sure when you need to let off steam xxv

I haven't been in this position Edge and cannot begin to imagine how hard this must have been for you but FWIW, I admire your courage in doing what needed to be done for your own safety and well being.

Your son has brought this on himself; you are neither to blame nor responsible .

I've never been in your position Edge26 but I applaud your stance in not his accepting abusive and bullying behaviour towards you. Hopefully, a word from the police will be the kick up the backside that he needs and he'll keep his distance from you from now on. You've done the right thing and I hope all goes well for you.

What a horrid situation for you to be in. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I'm so sorry things have become so much worse for you.

I am glad you have taken steps to protect yourself.

No one has to have a relationship with abusive people, not even close family

So sorry for the situation

Why call him? I would think of the consequences of this call and if they are had to handle (him screaming at you, threatening you, etc), you can always communicate your decision some other way.

And how to handle them... autocorrect went nuts

I wouldn’t speak to him, write him a note and post it to him.

My deep sympathy to you. What a horrible situation to be in. Stay on here, we will all support you through this difficult time. Better what you are doing than living with the threat of abuse constantly surrounding you.

Being practical. Get the locks changed asap. Make sure your house is secure and that you can get in or out without being ambushed by your son.

Have a look at this site www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help also search on local sites for your local Woman's Aid group and consider counselling.

Good luck Edge. When DD2 did this she was told by Women's Aid to write down what to say - eg. "I don't want any more contact with you. You are not to come to my house." Then stop, don't argue or listen to what he says but put down the phone. Otherwise you may end up with a lot more abuse. Please let us know how you are.

I'm another who is fortunate not to have that experience, but wishes you well, and sympathises with you, Edge.

Stay strong - it sounds as though you have done the right thing, and there is usually someone around on here if you need to offload. .

Very scary, brave and admirable of you, I’m sure it took a long time to get there. You have our support and I’m sure of many others, look after yourself x

It must have been very difficult for you to come to this decision but you’re brave to do so. If you do call him don’t get drawn into any arguments about the whys and wherefores. He knows what he’s done and he has to realise that just because you’re his mother it doesn’t give him anymore right than anyone else to bully and abuse you.

Stay strong Edge

can you get a restraining order ?
that will give you more legal protection.
not sure how old you are, but you might seek advice from wearehourglass.org/england/welcome-hourglass

or from women's aid, of course.
www.womensaid.org.uk/

www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help

i also think it's best not to speak to the person.
have you been advised to do that ?
could someone else do it on your behalf, or could you text/email instead.
be aware of possible aggressive reaction.
can you have support by friends/family visiting you, show you are not alone.
or could you go away for a few days.

Chewbacca,
I also hope the call from the Police does make a difference, but it is going to take me a long time to get over this if i ever do. Thank you.

Don't forget to save or document any evidence of abuse incae you need a restraining order

Welbeck,
Thank you for your advice. I am 66 next month and I do have the support from my brother and sisters.
A restraining order would be the next step if he dosent stop his abuse. He has been told not to come to my house and no contact with me.
I'm not sure how long this will go on for so I gladly welcome your thoughts.

VioletSky,
Thank you.

I'm sure it will take a long time Edge but you've shown strength, bravery and determination to do this and those are not the traits of an easy push over. You're stronger, braver and more determined than you think. And your son is only just finding that out. Keep strong.

I want to thank you all for your replies. My brother who has been acting as a go between me and my son can not believe how my son has been treating me. I hope my son realises this but only time will tell.