Am I antisocial or just weird?

you are not weird or anti-social, i was married for 18 years and lost my husband when i was 39, i met someone a year later and i decided i did not want to get married or live together full time, we saw each other a lot at the start but ended up spending every weekend together - fri/mon and that suited us both, we stayed like that for the next 18 years until he died last year. i have now decided at the age of almost 59 that i won't have another partner, i am happy on my own, i seldom get lonely, people think i am weird as i do not have friends other than family and a couple of neighbours, i don't think i could go through loosing another husband or partner that i had loved for all those years. if you are happy on your own and like living alone then stay that way.

Not sure how many men feel like this though !

Have lived on my own for many years now and totally happy with it. Friends and family come and stay and I visit them, but enjoy the relaxed feeling of being just me again! Could make an exception for my daughter and grandson though. AND it would be useful to have someone here to put the bins out on a Thursday!

Not weird at all I love living alone peace
and quiet eating and sleeping when I want I enjoy family and friends visiting but I'm happy with my own company and wouldn't want to change it.

I do. I don't mind the odd family member or friend stopping for a bit. I do like to see them leave too lol.

I was far far more lonely within a marriage and the utter peace of closing my own front door that first time I was alone will never leave me

Madwoman11 I’m exactly the same! I have many lovely friends and a daughter whom I cherish when I see her about 2 or 3 times a month. Two cats! I still work full time, 67 soon

Enjoying being alone and living alone is not antisocial.
We're all different.
I enjoy being alone. I have found since covid that I quite enjoy doing things alone, perfectly content. And can have company if I feel like it. My husband is the same.
There are no rules, just enjoy being yourself.

I couldn’t stand the thought of living with another person. I can go days without seeing another human being yet I’ve never felt lonely in my life. I was lucky enough to have discovered a well known card game that I was good at. Playing it on line with people from all over the world. Getting to know people quite well, especially the ones who drank in the evenings and were a delight to someone like me who wanted to win! Lockdown went past with my hardly noticing it due to always having a book to read or a game to play. I found myself getting quite a little nest egg for my old age. Come off it, old age? I’m closer to 80 than 70 so am I trying to kid myself I’m young?
Suddenly I got bored with card playing and stopped. Still read books though.
As a Chariot user ( mobility scooter) and car driver, I indulge myself every now and then.
Mainly in seaside resorts where cheap b&b places abound. Have to make certain they have somewhere I can top up my chariots batteries though. A problem car drivers too will have to face more and more as electric cars become the norm. I’m never happier than with a candy floss in one hand and good quality ice cream cornet in the other, parked on a quiet part of a seaside pier on my chariot in a warm breeze.
I don’t need to share my happiness with anyone. They might prefer that ghastly slimy pretend ice cream made with powder. !!!!!!!!!!!

I enjoy living alone. Been divorced since 1988 and brought up my son (now 45) to be useful around the house, cooking and cleaning. Like others have said, my time and space is my own, no fighting over the tv remote, what and when to eat. No-one hogging the bathroom. Made friends when away on holidays. I belong to several groups for socialising. HAppy with my lot.

It can be lonely in a marriage.
A double bed can be a sad lonely place as one gets older.
I don’t like visitors, I’m sociable but please don’t come to my home.
I never thought I’d say this.

To be pedantic, you're not anti-social at all, that is a totally different (and more worrying trait!) you are just un-social!

I have been married for 37 years this year and would find the house quiet without someone with me - although by myself I might get away with washing engine parts of my classic car in the dishwasher - which I dare not do now :-)

You could be talking about me. When my partner was alive I too worried about being alone but now I am alone I quite enjoy my own space and to be able to do what I want when I want

I was the same after being widowed following 40 yrs of marriage. So I went on line, kissed a lot of frogs then found a good compromise. Not madly in love but happily living with my best friend

Totally agree, I love my own company, never get bored, in fact when I do socialise, after a few hours thats when I get bored.

Durga. I will be 83 next month, and am also ??in good health. Chatting to my 5 y.o. GD today she asked me about my brother, who died at the age of 22.
The conversation turned to death, in general. She solemnly told me that she was only young, and wouldn't die for years and years. "But you are old, Grandma," she said. You will die in a few weeks or months!"
I'd better make the most of what brief time I have left! ?

Having lived alone very happily from age 19-51 I find living with my husband quite wearing at times

i am happy living with my husband but i am not keen on visitors - even relatives. I could never live with somebody else . Whilst I admire those people that have taken in refugees , I could never do it. I prefer my own space and I don't even like going shopping with others

I don’t think it’s weird at all. It’s a preference and it’s also an ability that is not in everyone’s wheelhouse. I’m an only child and have always treasured my own space, however, I was married right out of my parents’ home at age 20 and commuted to uni before that so never lived away. DH and I were married for 50 yrs before he passed but just prior to that DS moved in after his divorce. I now live with him, his ex and DGS; I have my own small space and privacy and I know going forward it may not be a bad thing to not be alone. I imagine that if circumstances were different I could have contentedly lived alone after DH died but I’m in my 70s and realizing that I’m just never going to get an opportunity to do that! I think the ability to adapt is the most important thing because we don’t always get what we think we want!

Many thanks for this thread. I have always preferred lots of solo time but now in my sixties, I don't much like socialising at all (except with close family members) and have been feeling guilty about it. I make sure that I go to a couple of U3A classes to preserve my mental health (!) Most of the people are pleasant but I am glad to get home. I also need a lot of time on my own immediately after socialising with others, even family. I quite like brief interactions with shop assistants etc, probably because nothing's required of me. I live with my husband and we do our own thing a lot but it's been a difficult marriage. I dream of living alone in a little house in a small town with my dog, it would be bliss!

You are not weird - and clearly from these replies you are far from alone in your choice. Because you choose to do something diffferent to some other people, it doesn't make you strange, weird or anything of the sort - you are simply making a different choice. Good for you!

Bobbydog, I was the same "empty house" syndrome when I first had to live alone, except for the dogs, bless them! However my problem was not being bored with my own company, nor wishing for any old human presence. No, my problem was I needed a special relationship to feel justified for living.

After a short space of time I learned I did not need home-sharing to justify my existence and was happier. Also I endorse that having my little place to myself is a positive benefit.

Karmalady, my husband died in 2005 up until then I had never lived alone. I have made a life for myself and love my independence. I am 81 now and in good health. I hope to continue this way for a long time.

I don't think it's selfish in the accepted sense of the word. I was widowed fourteen years ago and I'm certain I will never enter into a similar married relationship again. I enjoy not feeling obliged to consult anyone else about any decisions. Sometimes it's onerous, of course. Owning a house is a huge responsibility, for example.

I know some people on here will be recently bereaved and feeling very sad. I don't mean to offend. but many people rush into another relationship after divorce or bereavement. They think, perhaps, that they can't cope alone.

I couldn’t permanently live with anyone else after losing my husband just before covid struck. I have family stop for a couple of nights occasionally but most of the time I am on my own.
I meet friends, do the school run etc but I still return to an empty house. I find evenings are the worst. No I don’t like being on my own one bit.