Relationship with DIL

StarDreamer

I’m not in the UK, but I appreciate your help.

MissAdventure

Why not take a first small step, and sort out your new glasses?
It may give you the impetus to start gradually making more time for yourself.

yes, that's a good first step.
and then, this is just for you, Songbird5 :
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSuB4t3q_dA

This song always made me feel good and apparently made me smile and feel good. Thank you so much I really needed that uplift. Cos now my DIL is trying to force me to drive her car back and forth on top of my physical issue, to drop off my GS and her, thanpick them both up at different times because it’s too stressful for my son to do it. This is forcing me to look for a place of my own. (Too much mental stress at 67). But I loved the song

Oh, me too!!
I don't usually like 'cheery' songs, but every now and then I find one that really appeals to me.
This is one of those!

Songbird5, do you feel at all comfortable declining their requests? That is of course they are phrased as a request and not as a given. Either way, if you haven’t said “no I can’t do that” then maybe give it a try, so long as you feel safe doing so. And I realize that you are not at all obligated to give them a reason as to why you don’t want to do these things and you don’t even have to have a reason to decline, but it might help (or at least might prevent their throwing a fit) to tell them that you literally cannot continue to do all that you do for them, that you feel rundown and that your health and well-being is dependent on you slowing down and having more time for yourself.

If you don’t feel that you can say no to them, well you know that that is another separate but serious problem in itself, however in that case could you slowly busy yourself with anything under the sun and thus become less available to them? Even if your scheduled plans are watching a television show or calling relatives and friends.

Regarding your last message about your DIL wanting you to drive all around the world, I hope your son realizes that being a parent of young children is going to be stressful, as you know, you’ve been there and done that. Still, it is his and your DILs responsibility to do these things and if they are too much for them then they have the power to change it! Grandparents aren’t supposed to be responsible for these daily parental duties and they weren’t usually in the past, but now everywhere I turn there are parents trying to place that load on them. Grandparenting is supposed to be fun and naturally flowing, and here you are so wracked out of your mind that you want to run away! All because of the parents aren’t willing to step up to the plate, thereby essentially cheating you out of the average grandparent experience (by that I mean being able to enjoy your time with your grandkids without obligation). And that is a darned shame.

As MissAdventure said, put yourself first, prioritize you!