My husband is not intimate with me

I’m dubious about saying this (hides behind sofa) but there’s more than one way to skin a cat.
Perhaps your DH can give you some ‘intimacy’ if he’s not bothered about reciprocation.
All can be done in a living way.

you can get so comfortable with someone over the years that you both forget about the basics of giving each other quick hugs and a kiss from time to time. It's not just about going to bed and having sex or not . both parties need hugs or the rest dies!...

We know that women have a loss of oestrogen at a certain age and we know quite a lot about it now. However, men can have a loss of testosterone so their libido suffers. Could you perhaps ask him to get a test done to see what the problem is? It might help you understand that it is not him, just a lack of hormones. It would also help any feelings of resentment. You wouldn't expect him to resent your lack of oestrogen!

Also, he needs to get his prostate checked as this can sometimes cause a lack of erection without additional help. Better to be safe than sorry.

My husband and I are just working through this but fortunately neither of us has a great libido any more but we have enough love to help us.

Lucca

Smileless for smokers, smoking does have a calming effect

Actually when I gave up I read a book and one thing g it said was that smoking a fag just made you stress until
The next one !

Or as my dad put it: smoking calms down the naggings of the addiction for a short time.

Smileless for smokers, smoking does have a calming effect

Actually when I gave up I read a book and one thing g it said was that smoking a fag just made you stress until
The next one !

Speaking to many friends, it is a myth that it is generally women who go 'off' sex. Considering their husbands/partners are often older too.

I imagine the feelings of rejection and frustration must be difficult, for either side. Not all issues can be dealt with medically or physically, and how to proceed depends on each and every relationship.

This needs to be discussed with your H Libz. You say that medication works in terms of him being physically capable of intimacy, so it looks as if this isn't about him smoking and being unable to be intimate, but that he no longer wishes to be.

For smokers, smoking does have a calming effect.

I wouldn't say that intimacy after years of marriage is overrated, but if one still needs and desires the intimacy that their partner cannot/will not provide I can see why this could cause problems to an otherwise happy relationship.

Maybe couples counselling would be worth considering.

Oh dear, what can I say. You don’t say how old he is and I think men slow down a great deal with bedroom activity as they get older.