Aaargh! Just as I sit down with a coffee....

Your responses are why a lot of widows never remarry……..

For all the many, many years of marriage I have bought, wrapped and distributed gifts, thought up special dishes, prepared, cooked and served, cleaned the house from top to bottom, prepared beds, food etc. for visitors staying, and written, stamped and posted about a hundred Christmas cards. OH has put the lights on the tree each year - his sole contibution. Two years ago I asked if he would address and stamp the cards as I wrote them. The look of pained incredulity made me roar with laughter - he couldn't understand why. As I sent birthday cards throughout last year, I put a note in to say that I would make a larger charity donation to the Salvation Army at Christmas - and not send cards. I have also insisited that we go out for lunch - the whole family has leapt at the idea, as nobody wanted to do the grunt work. I'm not doing it any more either - the worm has turned!

Mr B, second husband, was single until his late forties and use to looking feet himself. So when we got together I let him carry on, why spoil his fun? On another point I say bring your sons up to be domesticated.

These men need sorting out. Stop doing all these things and see if/when they notice. Then get a rota sorted out. What happened to the Womens Movement... and I don't mean moving around in drudgery..lol!
Unless ,of course, they are doing an equal amount in other areas... which somehow I very much doubt... I wonder why?

Without defending completely lazy husbands, everyone has their idea of what constitutes an acceptable level of cleanliness.
I was on a thread on Facebook re housework and I couldn’t believe the level of cleaning every day that went on and on. Non stop.
I couldn’t live with someone like that myself.
A bit of dust around the place is not a hanging offence and a relaxed atmosphere is more important.

DH does sometimes clean the toilet and the bath, which makes him very different from other husbands, I gather.

Apart from that, I spent the morning washing up and making the bed, cleaning the cats' tray and feeding them, as per usual.

After that I continued the pre-Christmas cleaning of the kitchen. (Started it on Monday, when the cats and I empty all six cupboards under the kitchen counter, checked that there were not any mice, to the half-grown cats' great disappointment, washed said cupboards and replaced things in them when the cupboards were dry again.)

Today the cats and I took down curtains, washed them, cleaned the kitchen windows, the rails things like whisks and pan lids hang from, the extractor fan and swept down cobwebs from the upper walls and ceilings.

In the course of that, I broke a record: before 1 p,m, I had said "No, Tigger!" about a thousand times, and Trubel helpfully knocked the feather duster on a long pole that I had carefully propped where I could reach it from the counter top over twice! (Tigger felt that as I was standing on the counter he could do so too)

We decided to leave the other side of the kitchen until tomorrow.

Throughout all this DH (you've guessed it!) watched TV.

grandtanteJE65 that’s a helluva lot of pre-Christmas cleaning. Why? It’s scary.

Mine would say oh I’m going to phone so and so later to sort out blah de blah. Then he’d go out for a few hours usually the whole day metal detecting and when he came back he’d say did you make that call?
Me…What call?
Dh…The one we said about this morning!
Me…er the one you said you were going to make
Dh… oh did I ???
Grrrr

I never seem to stop and why on earth do I feel guilty if I sit down with a cuppa? When other half is out all day walking/golfing the magic fairy has been round cleaning, washing on the line, food shopping done and meal cooking. Errands sorted out.
All these strikes going on, well this country would come to an end if wives went on strike.

We are doing some of pre Christmas cleaning, I have the cleaner coming in next week to do the annual clean of the cooker and extractor fan, then we have the gutter man coming to do the gutters next Saturday and last of all our annual treat a cleaner in for w hours to give the house a bit of a do over_ I agree with Hollysteers about how much cleaning gransnetters do. Our house is fairly tidy but the bathroom, hoovering etc gets done about once a week with cupboards getting a sort out just now and again by whoever thinks it needs doing.

My husband is far from lazy. He does a lot around the house and is a fantastic cook.

I don't think most men know, or care to know, how much effort goes into keeping a house clean and ticking over. And it isn't just the physical housework - there's also the fact that you have to continually think and plan in advance for meals and shopping, family outings, birthdays, holidays etc. If, like me, you also do all the admin - paying the bills etc - it's quite possible your whole day can be taken over with these tasks.

My late ex - when we were discussing this subject (he worked long hours away from home but still helped with anything that needed doing) - actually said that, after watching his mother (5 sons living at home) run the whole show, he decided that housewives should be called "home executives" because the skill required in balancing everyone's diverse needs put them in the same class. He was unique, in that he saw what needed doing around the house and just did it without having to ask me, and never came out with that question that has me spitting feathers - "what do you want me to do for you. If you get my drift!

I didn't mean to imply my husband does nothing. I just thought it such a coincidence that he never fails to appear just as I'm resting.
All I did today was make breakfast and then go back to bed,which happens frequently due to M.E.
Husband has done everything including washing and ironing.

Mine also has the habit of sitting down looking at his iPad as soon I sit down to read a book he starts talking and trying to show me stuff he is looking at. But. I suppose I have my bad habits

Most of you are lucky to still have husbands. After thirty years I still miss the love of my life.

Nadateturbe - he doesn’t come up while scrubbing the shower because you could say, “good, while you’re here can you….?” And be put to work! 😉

Goodness, mrsgreenfingers56, I’ve never had that problem! I can happily ignore housework until even I have to bestir myself a bit - as for feeling guilty at sitting down with a cuppa, never!
Having said that, today I have actually shampooed the downstairs carpets - sitting room, dining room and hall - the annual pre Christmas blitz is under way. I’m doing it in manageable bits though - with plenty of sitting down with book and cup in between.

I've been reading this thread and can't help thinking it is competitive martyrdom!

Why would you feel guilty for sitting down and enjoying a break?

We all have different thoughts about house cleaning. I don't know why others always find it necessary to sneer at those of us who like to clean.

Nobody is sneering, we are just pointing out our different attitude to it.

I wasn’t sneering - I often wish I was a bit keener on housework! I’m never going to change now, though.

For some reason totally lost on me we have SIX remote controls in our living room for all the various gadgetry. As soon as I get to grips with one DH changes everything so it’s back to square one and he then gets annoyed if I don’t understand what’s changed. On the other hand he has never been able to work out how to use a (very much simpler) washing machine after 43 years we’ve been together.

My grandmother used to say that dull women keep immaculate homes.

I am not a dull woman so mine is far from immaculate.

Time to delegate some of those errands. My husband gets bored, wish I had that luxury!

The number of times this has happened to me also....are these men blind or what? Was ready to kill mine yesterday when I came home from the shops with the wrong can of baked beans...the ones he likes were not there! What a song and dance he made of it. So have handed over the shopping bags and told him he can do the shopping in the future!! I should be so lucky!!!