Mistake of reading comments on Granset.

I have found Gransnet hugely supportive and hope that you will stick with it.

When people make comments online, they can often be a bit blunter than in face to face communications; and of course we only hear one side of the story, and also do not know you or which comments might feel particularly sensitive for you. Under normal real life circumstances it would be more likely that we would know what not to say!

But I do think that the comments on your thread mostly had in common a desire to be helpful and to prevent future discomforts in your relationship with the Mum of your GS, so that you can fully enjoy being a gran.

If Gransnet is not for you, then that is fine; if you want to give it a go a bit longer, then that too is fine.

No facial expression or tone of voice - internet comments can be off putting. You did well asking and taking on comments.

Just seen this thread.
IMO the advice on the breast feeding thread was spot on.
There were no scolding or upsetting posts at all.
Not sure what’s going on here tbh.

I commented on the other post and like others was looking at it from the new mums POV. Think we wanted to warn the poster that things can easily go very wrong in this sort of thing. The intention was to be helpful.

It’s a real eye opener for social media virgins isn’t it? Every forum (bar one that I use) has their share of critical voices. As others have said pay no attention and go with those who offer support.

Sorry you've been upset but in my experience Gnetters are generally very helpful and not intending to hurt.

I don't think people usually intend to hurt, although if you hang around you will see that there are posters who are much more black and white in their thinking than others.

Sometimes people are responding to hurt they have felt themselves, so to use your thread as an example, someone (like me) who found breastfeeding impossible will perhaps take less kindly to hearing about a husband telling his mum that not persevering with it is 'lazy' than would someone who felt that a grandparent had a right to be involved in the way her grandchildren are brought up. You are going to find people with a much wider range of experiences and backgrounds on somewhere like this than you will elsewhere, which is what makes it valuable, and also what can make it difficult.

As others have said, only hearing voices that agree with you (which is not synonymous with 'supportive', incidentally) isn't particularly helpful - you could have told yourself everything they have said. Listening to alternative points of view can be difficult, but is actually more supportive, as if you genuinely listen to them and consider whether there is any truth in the perspectives you can gain a rounder opinion yourself. Obviously you don't have to agree with anyone, or act on any suggestions - that is up to you - but writing people off simply for having a different point of view is pointless. Why bother asking if you are only going to listen to those who agree? Also, suggesting that you will leave unless you get 'support' won't get you very far either. The 'flounce' is not highly regarded on any internet forum. It is insulting to those who have taken the time to make suggestions about your dilemma, whether you agree with them or not.

You stay with it, honestly you get used to some of the responses and it's up to you whether to bite back or not. I really enjoy it and find some of the threads are really interesting and helpful. Give it another go 💐

I never breast fed and would nit have been happy anyone other than a midwife giving me advice. I have three healthy sons.

I would try not to take it to heart, as you have done

A well balanced point of view Doodle. Excellent advice.

ThespiGran

I dont know how to. Its not giving me an option to edit or delete

to delete your own thread click on report on the right and ask them to delete.

Some responses are sharp but generally well meant and helpful don’t get put off, some replies are likely to be from activists, ignore those and go with the general trend of replies.

The problem of being on any forum like this is that you get a cross section of people on it. It is not possible to remove all members who may disagree with you, quite strongly and you have to learn to take the rough with the smooth.

I have been on GN almost since it started and, once or twice, I have been taken aback to the response to threads I had started that seemed unlikely to lead to sharp responses.

But life in general is like that. If all you want is kind replies with no risk of the opposite then perhaps GN is not for you, but if you are willing to take the rough with the smooth, we are actually a friendly and very varied group of people, who like all large groups sometimes disagree and make that disagreement quite clear.

Ive had enough of Gransnet. Im off.

When I've had enough of gransnet, I just comment more to be annoying

VioletSky

When I've had enough of gransnet, I just comment more to be annoying

😞

ThespiGran

Ive had enough of Gransnet. Im off.

You might be happier here, OP

www.reinforcemyprejudices.com

Nobody will disagree with you there.

I didn’t comment on the breast feeding thread because my NY resolution is to be kinder😬.
Why do people post and not expect a variety of opinions?

Quokka

It’s a real eye opener for social media virgins isn’t it? Every forum (bar one that I use) has their share of critical voices. As others have said pay no attention and go with those who offer support.

But what's the point of only reading the replies which agree with you? Surely anyone posting a query is asking to hear all opinions, all points of view, not just become a member of an echo chamber? You posted a question, you were given many answers, some of which you didn't like, some of which didn't tell you that you and your son are completely right to criticise your DiL behind her back..........

Don’t leave ThespiGran. I remember the thread re breastfeeding. People do give their opinions, some of which may not be exactly what you were expecting. But everyone is honest and mean well. Hope to see you posting again. I have had great support here and also the odd reprimand. But that reflects real life. I love it here 😘

Doodledog

ThespiGran

Ive had enough of Gransnet. Im off.

You might be happier here, OP

www.reinforcemyprejudices.com

Nobody will disagree with you there.

Many would.

Anyone who lacks introspection, wants to blame their child's spouse instead of listening, may could do well never being disagreed with.

VioletSky

When I've had enough of gransnet, I just comment more to be annoying

That isn’t very sensible

There seems little point in asking a question of many different people if you aren’t prepared to consider all the answers, and then proceed to be upset by anyone not giving the desired response, even couched politely.

VioletSky

When I've had enough of gransnet, I just comment more to be annoying

😂