I Think We're On Different Paths

some years I was approached on Instagram by a man with a very similar scenario to this, same age son etc. He said he had togofor anengineering job in Nigeria. Of course I'd latched on tothe fact that he was a scammer sometime earlier, all the spelling mistakes and repetitive love messages,so I thought I'd see how far he'd go. Soon he was asking for money for a failing project in Nigeria and saying his son needed to have medical treatment. So I pleasantly said' Don't worry I'll bring the money down to Nigeria and meet you at the same time.'. rather predictably I never heard from him again... You could play it out maybe?

Well done in recognising something didn't seem right and/or it wasn't what you really wanted, then following through with the Dear John letter.
If he was a genuine person who lived near you, he would have wanted to meet up before saying he loved you and thinking of you as a possible partner. He would surely, also, have wanted to see how you got on with his son as well.
It does have all the hallmarks of a scam - so similar to the stories on TV etc.
He's not done anything illegal if he's simply used a fake profile but not actually asked for money or gifts . You might want to contact the dating site, if that's what you used, to suggest they check it out as you're not sure it's a genuine profile - it would no doubt be breaking their rules.
Beware possible contact from other scammers as, if he is a fake, he could have passed some of your details to other chancers ( not necessarily re dating but maybe finance deals or investment opportunities etc that seem too good to be true).
You sound like a warm, kind-hearted person who didn't want to disappoint this man ( if he was real). Stick to your guns about what you're looking for in a relationship and, whether the right person comes along or not, I'm sure we all wish you happiness and fulfillment in the years ahead.

I'm afraid I'd be telling you to get use to living the single life. How can someone keep giving you compliments if you haven't even met them. Steer well clear.

What PinkCosmos said.
Sounds like a scammer to me. Did he ask you to continue conversations away from the dating site?
Do a reverse image search on "his" photos and search his phone number online to see if it has a history. Do a google search for it. I can't give you a URL for the site that I use, my laptop reset itself and I've lost my bookmarks. also good to find out about unknown callers .
I suspect that his photos are of a good looking man, probably too good to be true.
Has all the hallmarks of a scammer. Report it to the dating site and possibly the police if your searches point to a scammer.
Block his phone number.
If you keep contact, I suspect that he will soon be asking for money. These people are very good at psychological manipulation, just be aware.
I hope that you make contact with a genuine man, I did, after being almost caught by a scammer. We have been married for 2 years now and we have never been happier.

Does he need a companion who will double as a cook/housekeeper/ baby-sitter? Did he send you photos of the boy? Does he tell you how the boy is getting on at school? Did he tell you how the boy manages school holidays while he is at work? Did you check him out on search engines and Facebook? Did you check out the obituary of his wife? Does he mention his work / neighbours / realtives / work-mates? If one of your answers to this barrage of qwuestions is 'no' - then, what are you doing, corresponding with him?

Yes this happened to me a few years back. One of my online customers (USA) and I began chatting and he claimed to be a stylist and celebrity hairdresser in LA. We got on well for a few weeks then he mentioned that his mom was in hospital and needed life saving surgery. His business had gone down as a result of looking after here. Well you know the story.

He asked me to send $50,000 and when I told him thats I did not have that kind of cash in hand he quite aggressively told me what the stock in my shop was worth in total. RED FLAG.

I found his picture on a scam site and blocked his email address at deep server level. Even blocked his IP address.

I am glad that my head has always ruled my heart where money is concerned.

polly123

He sounds dodgy to me and I suspect the '8 yr old son' is the foundation for future requests for cash for medical treatment etc.

My thoughts exactly!

For goodness sake meet up with this person. The lies that are spouted on ‘line’ are humongous. Meet him in real life ….not that
life you’re living in the ‘ether’. And be very sure it’s a place where there’s plenty of folk around ….I wouldn’t want to be with anybody who where’s his heart on his sleeve after a few taps on a keyboard.

Nope not genuine

I am still very curious about "writing a letter". Do you have an address then?

This sounds like the usual pattern of a scammer and I doubt whether he will actually arrange to meet up, But please be careful..

Chatting for lengthy periods online when he lives local and sounds like you have not actually met face to face to face? Oh my..
I know these are different times and internet dating is quite the thing to do but If I found myself in that position I think I would prefer to meet someone by chance, see where it led. Of course i dont know thats what I would do if i were in that position. If I did do internet dating I seriously doubt I could believe someone whom I had never actually met saying they have deep feeling for me let alone declaring they Love me.

I would not send a letter. You do not owe him an explanation. Watch out for anyone else who might follow him: part of a gang. Have fun.

When my beloved husband died thirtyfive years ago I had more than one widows pestering me to marry or have relationship but I rejected them all. Could not bear the thought of another relationship. I made a life for myself, travelling home and abroad until I was eighty two.

I've had several try it on (definitely not online dating, just on public social media). I'm beautiful, he's lonely etc etc.

I usually do a reverse image search of the photos they send (these catfishers assume older woman are dim) and then confront them. One became quite angry and told me I was a poor church mouse (got his idiom a bit wrong!).

He sounds dodgy to me and I suspect the '8 yr old son' is the foundation for future requests for cash for medical treatment etc.

You have to be so careful online - I made a complimentary comment of the closeness of a family of a young famous man. His ’mother’ contacted me and after a cautious beginning was sending whats app messages. All fine and dandy until I had messages saying ’You are beautiful’ and ’I will choose to be with you for ever’. It’s almost impossible to verify without the blue tick, but I called the whats app number and when I got through it was a young man, who in truth was a look-alike, who then tried to fool me into thinking he was the famous person himself. At that point I ceased contact and blocked him. No harm was done but it was a salutary tale.

Definitely a possible SCAM> Ditch him!

My widowed friend started telling me about someone she was communicating with online. He was 20 years younger than her and had sent photos, bare chested in all of them….why?
He then started phoning her, it was awful to listen to her giggling with him (we were on holiday together). I warned her that it was a scam and sadly she phoned some weeks later to say he had asked her for £20,000.
How sad we can all be taken in by these scammers, especially when vulnerable.

Never contact him again!!

When he “gets” your intent (of dumping him) he’ll just move on till he finds a vulnerable suspect.
Cheers!
USA Gundy

I think that GagaJo is right .
One if my friends went through this a few years ago .
She was delirious that this much younger guy had sent her a very attractive photograph of himself and was full of compliments.
A marriage proposal was quickly mooted .
She showed me the emails .
He didn't answer any direct questions .
I knew that his so called military qualifications were fake .
I didn't want to tell her, but I asked her to enquire about them .
The answer was vague .
She still believed it .
Then she was extremely upset -he'd stopped communicating with her.
I said just leave it ,but she sent dozens of pleading emails .
Finally, an answer.he was very busy being deployed in Afghanistan in a top secret mission .
And he and some comrades had found a cache of hidden gold !

Could she send several thousand dollars to enable him to extract it ?

When it was transferred into a generous amount in sterling - he'd bring her - her share and wedding bells would ring .

Finally , she twigged .

I've heard of other women being asked to pay for life saving surgery usually for children .

And recently , I met a man , who is being taken to the cleaners by a young beautiful Thai girl .

It's money for the doctor and recently her house has been damaged by a storm .

As soon as he sends money there's another request - sick mothers / grandparents /younger brother's school fees ... it never stops .
.
I doubt if she exists .

If this is for real ? My advice echos everyone else . Run ! Do not correspond in any way. Red flags frantically waving.

He sounds like a scammer! Have you met him? If not, ask him for a selfie with his finger on his nose. That sees off the scammers. And don’t let him make excuses.

Scammer. None of it even sounds genuine….

Does he think you were born yesterday? I’m pleased you posted the letter.