He's ageing well, I'm not and he can't understand

I guess if the OP is as defensive with her husband as she is with the helpful comments she's receiving on here, then he is going to make unhelpful comments. Open clear communication is needed..

Madgran I suppose swollen feet might be read or mistakenly assumed as including ankles! I'm not sure anyone was trying to "make things up

Casdon Swollen feet and swollen ankles are both commonly caused by heart failure, it makes no difference to the point mumofmadboys was making.

I know Casdon ...my comment above was referring to the OP thinking people are "making things up" ...which seemed somewhat unfair.

I'm not sure really why you quoted my comment with reference to mumofmadboys comments which I agree with as shows up thread, but no matter.

In the heatwave recently my feet swelled up slightly.

Do not most people's legs swell slightly in a heatwave? When i was a teenager I can remember taking off a pair of shoes on a hot day - and then not being able to get them back on again later on. They fitted perfectly, the next day.

One simple thing you can do re varicose veins, is to place a pillow under the mattress on your side of the bed to elevate your feet and legs overnight.
Lots of good ideas on here to help you. The key thing is not to allow yourself to be put down by other people's comments. A bit of TLC for yourself wouldn't come amiss. A new hair do/dress/makeup/treat.
If you are on your feet a lot doing stuff around the house, tell hubby he needs to do more to help you with that so you can put your feet up.

Still think a trip to gp might be good idea. Have your hbaic checked and also thyroid levels. Is there any type2 DM in your family?
Re DH I am a great one for saying yes dear then ignoring him completely.
He's only a man ....you can't expect too much. Please don't let him subtly or unsubtly undermine you.

So many people here have behaved just like my DH and his 'I'm okay — what's wrong with you?' attitude. Can you not hear yourselves?

I'm feeling hacked off by the number of posts with 'helpful' comments, many of them clearly having misread what was said, and I'm not the OP just a flabbergasted bystander.

Sorry, crossed posts 🤦‍♀️

MargotLedbetter

*The commonest cause of swollen ankles is a degree of heart failure. A trip to see your GP is vital.*

I haven't got swollen ankles. Why are you making stuff up?

In the heatwave recently my feet swelled up slightly

are your ankles not part of your feet?

And IIRC mumofmadboys is a retired GP, she knows of what she speaks.

And mumofmadboys knows what she's talking about, as a retired GP.

Madgran77

MargotLedbetter

The commonest cause of swollen ankles is a degree of heart failure. A trip to see your GP is vital.

I haven't got swollen ankles. Why are you making stuff up?

I suppose swollen feet might be read or mistakenly assumed as including ankles! I'm not sure anyone was trying to "make things up"

Swollen feet and swollen ankles are both commonly caused by heart failure, it makes no difference to the point mumofmadboys was making.

MargotLedbetter

*The commonest cause of swollen ankles is a degree of heart failure. A trip to see your GP is vital.*

I haven't got swollen ankles. Why are you making stuff up?

I suppose swollen feet might be read or mistakenly assumed as including ankles! I'm not sure anyone was trying to "make things up"

The NHS does still treat varicose veins when necessary! I should know!

Hi Margot ,

Time to take better care of yourself making sure that you have the right medical check ups , healthy diet and exercise and say nothing - take a deep breath .

Don't compare yourself to your husband .

Some men are amazingly considerate towards their wives and others just aren't .

Wishing you well and happy .

In case the idea that swollen ankles are related to heart failure is worrying anyone, mine swell on long haul flights, when the weather is hot, and recently did so quite alarmingly when I was prescribed BP medication, but my heart is healthy, as I know because of numerous tests and scans carried out for reasons unrelated to my occasional ankle swelling.

What comments do you expect OP? Go to couples therapy? Dump him? You obviously see no reason to change your own way of thinking , so you either try to change your DH and his attitude or you just roll on as you are.

How naive of me it was to wonder whether anyone else had been through something similar and what their response and feelings had been.

The commonest cause of swollen ankles is a degree of heart failure. A trip to see your GP is vital.

I haven't got swollen ankles. Why are you making stuff up?

I personally feel how insensitive of him. If I was you would lose weight and hope he goes down with something!

I fully understand about the years nursing and the pressure it puts on the body.
I have managed to lose some weight on a low carb diet. But also am a bit stroppy about looking after myself and improving my life. Little things build up my self esteem. Like a perfume I like and doing my nails,flowers etc.
Also my friends help a lot.
Don't take too much notice of your DH he may be covering up his fear of ageing by picking on you.
All best wishes.

I agree Vegansrock..!

What comments do you expect OP? Go to couples therapy? Dump him? You obviously see no reason to change your own way of thinking , so you either try to change your DH and his attitude or you just roll on as you are.

MargotLedbetter

*I feel for you, it must be difficult to cope with the aging process when you have a younger, fitter partner.*

He's not younger than me. He's 18 months older.

Sorry about that, I did read your post properly, I meant to say ‘younger and fitter looking partner.

I feel for you *Margot L. I’m in pretty much the same boat. The way I deal with it is to say “GP says I need to try swimming” (joined a swanky Spa), as well as treating myself to posh makeup, new hairdo (I don’t have thinning hair but if I did I’d buy several wigs. I read somewhere that there comes a day in every woman’s life when she has to choose between her face or her butt. I stuck with the face - you need a bit of flesh to plump out the wrinkles ! Is your DH quite wrinkly as well as skinny? If so, I’m afraid I’d casually point it out 🤣!

The commonest cause of swollen ankles is a degree of heart failure. A trip to see your GP is vital.

Actually I think you would be wise to discuss veins and swelling with a Dr!1 At least you DH cares!

MargotLedbetter

*I feel for you, it must be difficult to cope with the aging process when you have a younger, fitter partner.*

He's not younger than me. He's 18 months older.

Next time pick someone 10 years older