Dating

To be frank I havnt really felt the need for a (sexual) partner since I came to live in my current home. Ive become friendly with a couple of gay men who visit regularly for a chat and I look forward to seeing them. Being gay they dont judge me as a woman for not wanting children and there is no danger of a sexual or emotional entanglement.

It seems to me that many women are happier with a close friendship where the other is a part (but not the whole) of their life. Each party continues to have their own separate interests and friends. However (straight) men often want more committment and are looking for you to become part of a "twosome". I have never wanted that degree of intimacy with another human being - either male or female.

I recommend going to blues gigs. There's sure to be a club or two in the nearest town. They are full of men of A Certain Age!

Hetty58 Exactly! I've been single for fifteen years and I love it! Marriage gave me three wonderful children and I wouldn't change that but I have no need for another partner.

You’re hoping and wishing too much. Let’s face it, men in their senior years ARE looking for commitment and to be looked after. Your prince is a fantasy, but if you find one they’re probably married.

Maybe look for someone younger - you might have more luck there, but protect yourself then and do go into it knowing it will or may not last.

My motto for the longest time had been - I wouldn’t mind a man in my life, but never in my house.” It always worked for me.

I pretty much gave up men about 15 yrs ago when I realized and discovered old men are kind of dopey, stupid and too clingy. And some of them are downright clueless. (poor souls) Who wants that?

I’ve have never been happier than being retired and living in my own world with like-minded friends.
USA Gundy

I would try and join groups where you can meet a people rather than dating sites ,that way if someone comes along you can meet as part of the group rather than 1-1 to start ,that way you will get to know them and are less likely to have the type you have mentioned . Volunteering at something like a good bank of Walking groups or exercise groups are usually mixed sex. Good luck

I sympathise with your experiences on dating sites - - I tried this on several different sites and found as many other have said, scammers, married men and those wanting to find another housekeeper.! Apart from giving me a reason to meet someone for very nice lunches, which was some sort of social life , I didn't meet anyone who I wanted to meet again after two or three times - either my feelings or theirs.
I decided I was to remain single and get on with trying to enjoy my life as it was. Then I met an old flame from many years ago - we clicked - and that was it!
i wish you luck in your search - happiness comes in strange ways sometimes . . .

Create the best social life you can by joining interest groups. Volunteer to help out in the local school etc. Join a solos holiday club. A busy person is an attractive person. The right person will turn up.

I found my late husband on a dating site and had the happiest 3 years before he died.
I am now back on another dating site. Be very picky about who you are looking for , you should be able to do a search with specific criteria including income.
I haven't yet met up with anyone (I do live a long way away from most people and distance can be a problem) but I am meeting one man who will be in the area visiting friends next month, and have another who lives miles away but we speak every day so who knows, we might meet one day.
I get lists of 'suitable' men every day and to be fair, if there isn't an instant attraction to their photograph and personal profile, I block them. I wish you luck and hope that you find your special person.

I met a lovely guy when I was nearly 50 through a Christian 'friendship' site. He restored my faith in relationships and men in general after a dreadfully painful unwanted divorce. However he wanted marriage and I just couldn't do that again! I've been single since although have had men interested in me - but somehow I never seem to fancy them. I'm now at 62 fine with that. I have financial security and a wonderful grandson plus I'm still working which keeps me busy. If it happens then all well and good but for now I'm happy as I am.

Join lots of things that interest you and you should meet like minded people,not necessarily “the one” but one thing leads to another & you will relax and just see what turns up,have fun,good luck.

I built a very happy independent life then met up with an old friend in my early sixties. There was no “pow” moment but we both felt completely at ease with each other and loved doing things together. Fast forward 6 years….now v happily married with 5 grandchildren under 5! We have built a lovely life.
I relished being on my own but it’s so nice to have someone in my life who adores me. Feel very lucky!

Internet dating is for those who want it to 'go further' - if that's not you then look elsewhere for friends. Through interest and hobby groups you will meet like minded people - and in time some may become particular friends. Can't be done instantly.

Sounds so dangerous out there! Why not join the U3A, find what you want yo do there, whether it's family history, languages or art and see what develops?

Internet dating can work. 14 years ago my SIL persuaded me to go on a dating website on a whim, I agreed. I signed up for seven days. The very first man I went on my one and only website date with I married and I love him to absolute bits. I think the key is to be open to possibilities however they arise. Maybe stop looking and just get involved with social activities, Am Dram, book club, walking group, whatever takes your fancy and take it from there. Good luck!

I lost my husband thirty five years ago when I was sixtyfive and have never wanted to have another partner. It was like losing a part of me but I have spent the time (when I was able) doing my own thing, travelling etc. Making my own decisions.
I think of him every day.

Hetty58

I've relied on friends and family for company - since about 60 years old. I have no wish for a closer relationship with anyone. In fact, I don't think I'm capable of making adjustments, changing my ways or having enough understanding to manage it.

I really enjoy the freedom to do exactly what I want, when I want, without having to consider anyone else. I feel quite contentedly 'complete' without any 'other half'. I have a dog and a cat - enough for me!

Ditto - but no pets - I have BOOKS!

Developing your own interests and joining things, or volunteering, should be a good route to finding a new partner, except for the fact that I do all those things and mainly meet other women. All my exercise classes are women, helping out in school seems to be confined mainly to women, volunteering ditto. My book group has two men (both married) and ten ladies. U3A is more mixed, but the ladies all seem to be in the literature classes I choose, whereas the men are in the Investment club or current affairs, both of which are beyond me. I would love to know where all the 70 year old men are and what they are doing. Can someone enlighten me.

There is a website called Dating Evolved which is not like the ordinary dating sites. I recommend it because it is just full of very useful and interesting comments, advice and suggestions for women over 50. Free to use, but you can progress and pay for more personal advice and to join other women for discussions etc. Worth a try?

A positive online dating story here. I was widowed at the age of 60 in 2016. My daughter & 3 young grandchildren lived with us so I was never lonely, but a couple of years later I realised I did miss male company & joined an online dating site, with no real expectations. After a few 'dates', that were obviously going nowhere, I met a very nice chap for a coffee & we never stopped talking for 2 hours. He lived 20 miles from me & we'd meet up a couple of time a week & I'd stay over at weekends. Then the pandemic struck & I moved in with him & the rest, as they say, is history. We celebrate our first wedding anniversary on 1 September & I couldn't be happier - good luck 😉

SunnySusie

Developing your own interests and joining things, or volunteering, should be a good route to finding a new partner, except for the fact that I do all those things and mainly meet other women. All my exercise classes are women, helping out in school seems to be confined mainly to women, volunteering ditto. My book group has two men (both married) and ten ladies. U3A is more mixed, but the ladies all seem to be in the literature classes I choose, whereas the men are in the Investment club or current affairs, both of which are beyond me. I would love to know where all the 70 year old men are and what they are doing. Can someone enlighten me.

For me the connection was Rugby but it might be Football, Bowls, Cars, Gardening, or many other boys activities. we have season tickets at a premiership cub as well as the local club. Rugby aside I love Cars, Steam Railways, Planes, travel too. Just yesterday we went on a track day, driving sports cars at 120mph, were both competitive, he won on the track, I won on the slalom.

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Good advice here from all the GNs who say: "do something, join something, meet people, and have a social life." In our local U3A there are "older" couples who met (through U3A) doing exactly that! Some were single, some divorced, some widowed. A few have married, others not. Good luck!