As a matter background, my boyfriend was ready to live with me after eight months, but I wasn’t and we've been seeing each other 2 years now. He had us looking at homes on multiple weekends when I visited him. I even tried to break up with him my few months ago telling him I can’t take the pressure with him pushing to live together and buy a house.
He did back off for a few months but 10 days ago had to fly out of state for a medical emergency for several days for my adult daughter for 5 days after she suffered the third straight miscarriage. My bf on his own while I was away visited new home developments and sent me multiple emails asking me to look at it even though I was still at my daughters taking care of her. He set up appointments for us to look at the houses on the following weekend which was this past weekend. His reasoning to look now is because I found a place to rent in Florida for January February March so I’m near my daughter and he’s willing to stay with me for some of that time but the first night I got home from seeing my daughter in Florida he was pressuring me again asking me if I had looked at the emails with new homes he sent me and kept asking are we “on the same page“ "
Told him I’m tired from trip and couldn’t think about it. At the same time, he managed to criticize me not communicating with him enough while I was in Florida taking care of my daughter and even said I hope this isn’t gonna be how it is when we stay in Florida next early next year. I did text and called him numerous times during my stay and always responded to his texts.
We ended up seeing the Homes this past weekend which I really wasn’t too interested in doing but did anyway and none interested me. When I told him what I see as real negatives about the homes it led to an argument He is saying we have to figure this out now for the spring because we’re going to Florida for 3 months and his lease ends in April so he doesn’t want to be “screwed” by not buying a home early enough. We went back and forth and he said he agrees with my concerns about the homes we saw but we need to figure this out now.
I did tell him I thought him sending me multiple emails and setting up appointments for the first week and I got home from Florida was being too pushy under the circumstances. I explained numerous times that I was emotionally exhausted from what my daughter is going through, and I can’t think straight and buying a house is a major decision as it is us living together. He’s sort of apologized, but not really, and again just said if it wasn’t for us going to Florida for three months I wouldn’t be in such a rush as where I am right now, but we don’t have as much time as you think. He said he’s been very understanding and shared him and his ex went through miscarriages too. He did apologize and even said maybe he should move into my home until we see something better even though he said where I live is isolating.
The one thing he kept saying is the only reason he’s working so hard at this is so that we can be together full time and not just on weekends because we live 50 miles apart.
Bottom line: My children will always come first, and he knows that especially because I’m a widow, and they lost their father several years back, so if they need me, I need to be there. I don’t know if living with him and buying a house is even the right thing for me. While we do love each other I find his behavior quite concerning and telling about future disputes and even if he’s possessive. What advice do you have for me"
