Friend continually talking over me

Fleur20

No excuse for bad manners.
Pat her on the hand and look her straight in the eye..'I haven't finished speaking.'
..and then carry on with what you were saying.
And repeat... it does work.

My Great Aunty used to do that, in a kindly way but with that strength of character that some people have. You always knew where you stood with her and it taught us manners. She never raised her voice or interrupted us when we were speaking, she listened attentively. She never spoke ill of anyone behind their back but she spoke her truth. I never felt patronised but then I was a lot younger.

Thanks VDV. My family do know and will bring me back into the conversation. I do have a close friend who understands and meet her every 6 weeks or so. DH is able to do a lot for himself but takes a lot longer which is fine. My GP knows and I am doing a course about beating the blues and have just got to the stage where I am able to address this and voice it which is good. I have just realised he does this with everyone even DGC.
Also do a lot of childcare and DM now in care home and we are selling her house so a lot to do there but at least she is safe. It helps that I have Gransnet too, to keep me sane x

Oh @ElaineI that sounds hard.

Have you a group you could join to have some respite? Are you his primary carer ?

Have you spoken to your doctor about your thoughts of self harm?

You sound very down to me. I hope you find some outlet, make friends of your own, and recover yourself again

DH does this all the time and got worse after his stroke. I've stopped joining in conversations as I say half a sentence then he bursts in sometimes correcting me on a totally unimportant point. I've now lost the art of conversation as there is no point. Might as well not be there. I hate it and contributes to my feelings of self worth. Sometimes makes me want to hit myself. Family try to help but I won't carry on with what I was going to say as I then feel it's insignificant.

I had a beloved SIL who could chat and chat. It irritated the men in the family but at family occasions there were never any awkward silences.

She’s always been like this but getting more so the older we get and I’m getting more fed up with it the older we get too!!Its easy to say how you feel to a sister but harder to a friend. I think I will just have to grin and bear it or maybe keep on talking when she talks over me! Good to know I’m not alone in this sort of situation. I think she just can’t help herself as her mother was the same.

My sister had a neighbour who, whenever someone rang my sisters doorbell, the neighbour next door would come to her door, as though the 2 doors and doorbells were interconnected. Whenever I open my mouth to speak, my husband immediately cuts in over me, (even if it's as simple as trying to ask him if he wants a cup of tea) and so I have taken to calling him Kath's doorbell, as his mouth seems to always be triggered by my mouth opening!

To get a word in with my friend who talks without stopping. I say “I won’t talk about xxxxx issue for long, a couple of sentences” And then say what I want to say.
It kind of stops them cutting me off as I have set a time limit.

I tried once not even trying to say anything, a whole hour, she never noticed.

Exactly shysal - me too!

BrandyGran

I like the patting hand idea!

Me too....that sounds kind but effective!

I seem to attract people like this. I can be having a nice chat with someone and along will come the interuptor to take over!

Check that they are not deaf or hard of hearing, maybe losing their hearing? it is a very common complaint that people do that once they lose their hearing. I am deaf myself, and lots of my family too, and we do it all the time because we cannot hear when people have finished, but still want to join in, so it may not be malicious?

Oh gosh, I think we all know someone like this! My dear older sister is now widowed and is lonely. I let her ramble on (the phone) since I know she has no-one to talk to during the week. Her son comes on Sunday to visit, but she never really has had a circle of friends. I don't get many words in!

I've noticed as we have gotten older that my DH interrupts me quite a bit, but I do call him out on it. 'Please let me finish what I was saying!" is a common refrain from me.

Many people talk over others if they actually can’t hear what’s being said

Maybe your friend is becoming hard of hearing?

Sometimes hearing loss can be of the Treble or Bass part of speech, while other wavelengths are fine.

You could ask her?
Maybe say something along the lines of:
“I’m noticing you’re talking over people in conversation, and wondering, did you know that you’re doing it? Can you hear what’s being said? I’d hate anyone to think that you’re being boorish and interrupting”
<like I am>

Only solution I can think of is that you have a wooden spoon. Whoever is holding it may speak.
I think my DH's cousin's wife takes the biscuit, though.
Cousin got in touch after losing contact for nearly 50 years. Invited us to go and stay for a few days.
DH and cousin had a great time catching up on memories and family stories, which left me with the wife. I can talk but am mindful to allow the other a chance to speak, thus having a conversation. The wife didn't stop talking. It was non-stop. I tried to put in an odd comment, but she didn't stop.
We all went for a walk, the lads up ahead and me with the wife. I got a little out of breath, wife is talking, talking, talking. I decided to slow down. Wife is still striding on, talking like there is no tomorrow. Took her nearly 5 minutes to realise I wasn't with her.....
My DH apologised for leaving me with her, which, to be honest, I didn't mind because he was so pleased to meet his cousin again after so long.
Sadly, because of her, my DH refuses to visit his cousin or meet up because of the wife.

tictacnana

My partner, whom I love dearly, is a flirt. He’s harmless and sees nothing wrong with what he does but I find it deeply humiliating and it depresses me . I know that he wouldn’t stray but I find it hard to come to handle. He doesn’t realise that it hurts me. I don’t know how to stop it hurting .

This sounds like it needs a new thread; you'll probably get more answers.

My son keeps saying “ You always have an opinion” As his father before him and now my son both always had string opinions i hardly ever finish what i am saying!

My partner, whom I love dearly, is a flirt. He’s harmless and sees nothing wrong with what he does but I find it deeply humiliating and it depresses me . I know that he wouldn’t stray but I find it hard to come to handle. He doesn’t realise that it hurts me. I don’t know how to stop it hurting .

Maybe you have to lower your expectations for a decent conversation when you are with this friend

Dd has a friend - a highly educated professional - who honestly just never stops talking. She doesn’t listen, either - just waits for the other person to stop so she can start again.

Dd is convinced that this is why she’s never been able to hold on to a boyfriend for more than 5 minutes, and has tried - at first tactfully and later slightly more bluntly - to tell her, but she just - doesn’t - listen.

My husband is Autistic and does the exact same. He cannot let a conversation continue if he has a sudden thought of something he needs to say. I also know the phrase "As I was saying" really annoys him. So when he does this I say the dreaded phrase. It doesn't always work and he often interrupts moments later but I always make sure I finish even if it means he's waiting for me. It's the only way he realises I want to talk. Or if he's on top form for it and won't let me talk at all. I let him talk a d then just butt in with random things.

How very annoying !
Good advice from Fleur and AliSut .

I have a friend -someone I've known for years .We became close friends about four years ago and got on really well .
Over the last two years , she's become unbearable company :
I'm so fed up being told what I think about things - it's like a broken record .
Sadly , I now distance myself from her .

I know two people like this and find it very annoying. It's as if they aren't remotely interested in anything you have to say and just like the sound of their own voices. One of them told me I was a good listener! I'm not sure about the pat on the hand thing.

FYI, this is actually a symptom of adult attention deficit Hyperactivity disorder otherwise known as ADHD. I should know because I have it. I interrupt people a lot but I really try to control it. Maybe 50% successful.🙄