I feel like the other woman!

If he was separated when you met I'm a monkey's uncle.

He's lining up to try his BS on the ex but she is older and wiser than you, so I doubt she's going to fall for it.

But she must have been younger than you when she was traded in for a teenager. You need to get your ducks in a row as Mumsnet usually advise. If the ex doesn't bite, I would be zero percent surprised if he isn't out fishing for your replacement by spring.

Protect yourself and your son, financially and practically.

Reading your post, I can't helpfeeling that you are the other woman. The man you love, live with and who is the father of your eight year old son has consistently lied to you, concealing the fact that he had children and a wife - or ex-wife, although if they were only separated when you met him, she was legally speaking still his wife.

Has he married you? If not, why not?

Do you and he have only seperate bank accounts? If not open your own account when the banks open on Jan. 2nd.

Look long and hard at the future: who will benefit by your partner's will? It is reasonable to assume that you will outlive him. Who owns the house or flat you live in?

Get yourself a solicitor who can tell you exactly how you and your son are placed. This depends entirely on which country you are living in, and on whether property is in both your and your partner's name, only in his, or only in yours.

You say you love this man, but in reality you love a figment of his imagination, not the man he truly is.

If he refuses to discuss your concerns with you, you really do need to consider whether the pair of you have a future together or not.