Husband Sleeping Late

apparently it is better for our wellbeing to sleep longer in the winter.. if he's had a health check and is OK I would respect his need to sleep.. just do activities together when he's surfaced

As OP said ‘he has had plenty of health checks’.

It is theoretically disciplined, Siope but likely to slip unto randomness. It might work if taken a week at a time!

I agree Siope plan your day in a way which suits you in retirement. I usually get up early and my husband later. I relax or go out in the afternoon while he prepares and cooks dinner and walks the dogs. Suits us.

Sounds like a very disciplined approach Elegran

We seem to sleep long hours lately. Bed at nine and we rarely surface much before 8am. Does it matter? Not to us. We’ve decided we must need it. Maybe it’s the winter and we are just snug as bugs!

There is nothing particularly virtuous about getting up early, and a day has 24 hours regardless of when it starts.

I am a late to bed, late to rise person, and delighted to be so, after a working lifetime of having to adapt (to varying degrees) to an environment created by and for morning people.

My husband - who is a lark - just gets on with stuff I have zero interest in in the morning, and I do things he’s not involved with after he’s gone to bed, at what feels to me like the early evening (generally 10.30 or 11pm).

I agree with Bluebelle, just go out and about and do your own thing in the morning, then you can spend the rest of the day together without resentment and guilt tainting your days together

I’ve just been prescribed some new tablets, MrOops has been on them for some time, he sleeps until 9 ish unless I go and wake him up, but recently I’ve struggled to get out of bed at 8am! So I now sympathise with him. It isn’t a case of wanting to stay in bed, we just don’t wake up. MrOops woke me up last week at 9.30am because he thought I’d died in my sleep, I was so quiet!!
Maybe a health check would be a good idea, but if your husband is happy for you to wake him, then just wake him up rather than sit and stew about it. Does he go to bed really late?

Juliet27

I’m guessing you mean hoovering Rosie but I like the thought of you hovering over the bed.

Lol well that could work as well especially with a cold flannel used to do that with our teenagers who were slow to get up for school

I’m guessing you mean hoovering Rosie but I like the thought of you hovering over the bed.

Restless legs may be disturbing his sleep. Could be a sign of something else? What checks has he had?

It is winter and we all sleep a bit longer well at least a lot of people do. So maybe he will pick himself up come spring time.

But you do what you want to do dont wait for him. Dont hang about to do breakfast...launch straight into lunch for both of you. He can miss brekker otherwise you really are out of synch.

Get out for a walk when its sunny. Treat it at the moment like a phase he is going through so dont let it stress you out. Write down how you feel and how it is today and then revisit your note in 3 months time. Hopefully there will have been a change if not then he needs to talk to the GP again.

But you get on and do stuff yourself or with a friend. Chin up.

Sounds weird to me why would you want to spend half the day in bed. My DH has now semi retired before he was always up around 7am now it could stretch till 8 but I am always up 5am to 6am.
You could start hovering that would wake him !

Thanks everyone some good ideas there - I have been thinking for a while I should just go out and I think Blue Belle that’s what I’m going to do some days x

I wake DH every day at his request, or he’d sleep the day away.

I would treat it as a training exercise, rather than a regular responsibility that you are taking on for ever. Agree a reasonable time for him to be up an about, and at that time, stick your head round the bedroom door and say loudly "I am putting on your porridge NOW" He sounds quite happy for you to wake him, so he shouldn't (?) be grumpy when you do, but if he hasn't appeared by the time the porridge (or whatever his choice is) is out on the plate, go back and tell him it is ready. If he still doesn't appear in a few minutes, return to say that it is uneatable and you have thrown it out.

After a week or two of this, his stomach should be reminding him that this is time to eat. It may be sooner, it may take longer.

He's aging in years, his brain and body are slowing down, his get-up-and-go is not so-much-getting-up-and going any more!

Think of the Ed Asner and Kevin Hart film, ''Let Go'' where Artie is dramatically slowing down!

Try to give hubby a reason, even if only once a month for getting up earlier, take him to his favourite eatery or his favourite movie at the cinema, whatever.

Nagging him to get up earlier won't get either of you anywhere. Let him rest and get up when he feels OK to do it.

Why don’t you get on with what you want to do, meet a friend for coffee go for a walk, sign up for sone morning volunteering work There’s absolutely nothing worse than twiddling your fingers while someone else sleeps but you don’t have to, get out and do your own stuff, like all us single nans and grans do Then when you get back at lunchtime and he’s up you can both share the afternoon and evening together
Win/win

I wouldn't wake up unless DH woke me up. It doesn't bother me that he does it. We both know it's the only way for me to get up at a reasonable time. Otherwise we'd lose half the day. If your husband has suggested, why not give it a try.