narcissistic man

I've no idea what a narcissist really is/does - other than reading people's thoughts here, and I doubt most are capable to diagnose. However I know who sounds like an awful partner: this man.

Be done, a great physical relationship is not enough. Stay far away.

I've been where you are now. I was an idiot and kept going back.
Please take care and stay firmly away from this man. He will not make you happy.
I hope he doesn't stalk you. If so, write each event down and then tell the police.
You deserve better than this. Move on and I hope you find happiness soon.

I don't think that this man is a narcissist but as MissAs posted labels don't matter. His apparent inability to get over his ex wife would be a big enough red flag for me.

You've ended the relationship, so leave it there.

I don't think 17 months is long enough to expect someone to change their life, and his sounds very comfortable, for him.

He sounds selfish though.

RUN! You have made the right decision to end this relationship. The sentence in your OP that says it all to me is
^ He saw nothing unusual about this^ Narcissists never do. Their needs and actions are paramount and they don't see why anyone should question that. Don't weaken because he will never change. Look after yourself instead.

In 17 months you have only been out together twice and each time you went Dutch? He’s only in it for the sex. I wonder what he does on Fridays and Saturdays? Do not go back to him. If he harasses you or stalks you call the police.

I would not have anything more to do with him as he has shown you these unpleasant traits, very tight with money and hardly ever taking you out, still talking about his ex-wife etc. He also should have shown some concern when you weren't well so I wouldn't give him another thought to be honest.
Hope you can move on from this man and find someone you deserve, or enjoy time with friends and family instead.

No, no, no, no, no and No.

The label doesn't matter.
What does is that your expectations don't match.

He sounds like a lot of older, single men, to me.

I think you know the answer don’t you ?

I’d be heading for the hills, I’m afraid. He’s already shown you who he is and is unlikely ever to change.