narcissistic man

TheKevin20

When someone shows you who they are - believe them. Do not go back.

Lots more better men out there. No way would I be dating and sleeping with a man who goes to ex's house, for any reason - except perhaps to her funeral.

I have a similar problem with my husband. We have been together over 40 years..he comes from Italy...rarely went to see his huge family...then last year he went for 3 weeks. Then this year 3 weeks so far, and now he is collecting numerous presents to go at Christmas...for 4 weeks

Run for the hills, better on your own.

I think you did the right thing. At least, that's what I would do.
Was he also a spiritual narcissist? You can check the signs here. That's way worse.

Agree with all the others but it basically sounds like he's still in a relationship with his ex so isn't being loyal to you.

Oh Faringdon, you don't need this! Cool things off, be busy when he suggests something... Take up another interest, look up old friends. He may not even comment on this, because it does look like he isn't in the relationship for commitment....
You are being used, and you are too good for that!

Excuse typos.. fat fingers!

I've just detached (for the 4th or 5th time in 6 yearss) from a similar relationship. I'm a widow 72, he twice divorced 74 net him within 10 months of widowhood.

The physical and spiritual connection can be intense, but going back to this sort of manipulator us like going back to drug taking.

I understand how intoxicating this connection can be, but it's so toxic. Mine had most of the behaviours your OP exhibited and I'm still reeling from the experience after 5 weeks nc.

He has liked and commented on my IG art posts, which I ignore. Don't take his breadcrumbs. Try to find a purpose in life apart from accepting thus begaviour yo fill your emotional void. Mine's art and I've totally surpassed his level. He admires my progress. My incentive to do well is to show him that his hot/cold/manipulative behaviour drives me to improve and not be controlled by my emotions.

Grieve, make time for family & friends and find something you enjoy. You will feel awful at first, but you'll feel grateful he has taught you a lesson in life to put yourself first.

Please don’t go back OP. He is telling you who he is, listen to him.
He doesn’t care about you, his lack of attention when you were unwell tells you this.

He talks about his exes, this is highly insensitive.

As a PP has said, the label doesn’t matter, he is not for you.

I hope you will be ok

Take it from one who knows, if you’ve recognised your partners narcissistic traits, move on he’ll only get worse. After every argument he’ll be apologetic and nice for a while and then turn nasty again . My ex distanced me from friends and family , so you need to act now….

It's time to Run- you already got all the signs.

He is completely insensitive. Dump him and look for someone who actually cares about you.

Tin soldier I am aware the OP asked for opinions and advice Perhaps I didn’t say what I meant clearly
So many post start off by not giving the whole picture then adding to it

What has it got to do with your son? You sound a bit weak to me.

Perhaps you need to work on esteem issues, it might help you see this man for what he is.

I really can't believe that you would be taken in by him not being able to call because his phone was downstairs.

I would imagine there are some decent men, perhaps widowed, who are looking for a proper relationship, hopefully with great sex too.

The best of both worlds.

at age 68 I’m not going to find anyone else for a relationship again .

Are you really so desperate for sex - because that’s all this relationship is, and has always been, about?

Are you so desperate for a relationship that anybody is better than nobody, you really need to think this through would you rather be in a bad relationship than none. If you do get back together perhaps some ground rules need to established and a few changes to the direction of how the relationship moves forward, because at the moment it seems to be purely for sex and as good as that is at 68 now long is it going to last.

What part of " extremely misogynist " appeals to you, or your son, faringdon?

Some things are best "kept under your hat".
😇

If it were me in such a relationship, it’s safe to say my son would be horrified.

I'm not sure faringdon59 does, herself.

I wonder if the son realises what the relationship is.

Drama loves an audience.

So, a big fuss because you were convinced he was going to stalk you, (based on absolutely nothing) now a lot of hand wringing because he didnt text you.

What is it you actually want?

If it's to go back with him, then do just that, but accept how it is, and how he is.

You agreed to a Fwb arrangement, and that is what you've had.

This guy is a total creep :
You are useful for sex when he feels like it .
When you are ill - he couldn't care less .

I went out with a guy , who was very nice to me for a few dates -marriage was mooted then , he became vile , assaulted me in a restaurant and locked me in his house .
I was terrified of his temper .
I was also scared of his stalking me and made excuses not to see him afraid to tell him that it was over .
He talked about his ex wife non stop . She'd left him for someone else . And they'd parted . I think that he enjoyed telling his children about me so that it would get to her .
I also found that the stories of his being a successful in the film business was a complete fabrication .
Stick with your decision .
Don't go back to him .
Change your phone number .
Change the locks if necessary .
Don't hesitate to call the police .
Find someone worthy of you .
And good luck .