I don't want to help so much in the garden

Maybe enlist the expertise of a garden designer?
They would look at your garden and your circumstances and come up with ideas for a design that your OH could manage.

That way you would both have input into the garden design at the planning stage and may get ideas that you will both really like.
It would depend on budget though, as does everything!

A couple of possible things you might check out. Is there a local gardening club nearby? They might have some members who only have small gardens and might be happy to come and do a bit of gardening . If they could plant the sort of plants they enjoy, so possibly they could have a border to do what they like with and keep the other borders as you want them to be. Or do you have any people in flats who miss gardens or are there any people at the moment on the waiting list for allotments who might be happy to make some arrangements with you? It obviously has to be a mutual agreement and you might have a couple of months trial to see how it goes. You might suggest this idea to your husband and if he disagrees then say that these were ideas you have , to try and help him get it sorted; but you are happy to go with whatever ideas he prefers so long as you are not involved in doing the garden yourself . Put like this does not sound like an ultimatum, but makes it clear that you have done what you can to think of some suitable ideas , but the bottom line is that you will not be doin the garden. Alternatively would you prefer to trade jobs? So he could do the shopping , ironing etc and you put the time in the garden. If your husband thinks all your ideas are crazy then it is up to him to work out what else he might do, and you will have made it clear that whilst you will step in on occasions you dont want or intend to do it full fime

I prefer to be up front and just tell him kindly but firmly that you do not want to do anymore gardening and either you get a gardener or the garden runs wild.

I have a gardner just comes once a month to keep it tidy, Mostly just lawns and strimming. He does a session trimming the trees once a year. I am not a great garden person and never sit out there,

I agree with the upfront approach. Tell him it’s too much for you and that you need help and also that you want to do other things in retirement, not be a slave to your garden .

Just say you are not doing any more gardening. He can hardly force you can he??

We have a team mow the fields 3x yearly, they send mowers round for the grass as needed (and dry enough), they do the chain saw work (I won't allow anyone I love touching a chain saw), some hauling spreading mulch/chips in the gardens and paths. We do the flowers, shrubs, and all selecting.

I water as needed by a system (really I just set it to on/off).

Everyone does only what they want or get paid to accomplish.

Communication is key!
I’d say “I love you dearly and helped out when you were poorly but you’re well now and to be honest I hate gardening so I’m putting in my resignation letter, active from this weekend! It’s over to you now buddy as it’s your hobby - I’m going to rediscover mine”.

Good luck & I hope you both enjoy your ongoing retirement pursuing what interests you as individuals!

Meant to say -- maybe a planned division for who does what would work well for you? There are people who garden for pay!!

Please don't spend your time not doing the things you enjoy. Life is too short. Will the day come when you look back and think "I wish I had done X, Y and Z instead of doing all that bloody gardening which I never wanted to do". If you continue to do the garden your DH will just assume your happy to do it. Tell him you don't want to.

This is the problem with being a woman. We are programmed to not upset men, to keep them happy at all costs even to our own detriment. We probably don't even realise we are doing it but this is a perfect example.

If the boot was on the other foot I'm absolutely certain your husband would assert himself and say that enough was enough.

You must tell him that you're fed up and either a gardener/odd job man is employed or you want to downsize.

I'm not programmed 😁

I love gardening ,but my knees and back don't .
So I'm minimising the giant flower beds .
They may look great when weeded , but I don't .

Tell hubby that it's too much and look at ways to reduce gardening .
I'm replacing some plants with flowering shrubs and using pebbles , stones and shells to restrict weeds .

flappergirl absolutely spot on

flappergirl

This is the problem with being a woman. We are programmed to not upset men, to keep them happy at all costs even to our own detriment. We probably don't even realise we are doing it but this is a perfect example.

If the boot was on the other foot I'm absolutely certain your husband would assert himself and say that enough was enough.

You must tell him that you're fed up and either a gardener/odd job man is employed or you want to downsize.

I've always resisted all programming. My husband likely would love to meet a woman who wants to keep their man happy at all cost.

OP, if flappergirl is indeed correct in your case - assert yourself!

M0nica

I prefer to be up front and just tell him kindly but firmly that you do not want to do anymore gardening and either you get a gardener or the garden runs wild.

Agreed, be honest. 'Developing a bad back' just does not sound right at all.