I don't want to help so much in the garden

Honesty is the best policy! Tell him you don’t want to do it now but remind him of how much you did when he was ill. I used to do loads of gardening but I find now if I stoop too much I have backache for a few days so I might just pull up a few weeds or do half an hour or so pruning etc but then I stop.

My husband thinks it’s funny and not even worth going outside for but I just give him the finger and say it’s my body. 🤣🤣

You need a gardener so you can both sit and enjoy your garden.

Don't do the garden, or just do the bits you enjoy. Join some clubs or groups, now he's well enough.

Then he'll have to pay a gardener and/or start looking for somewhere to downsize to with a smaller plot..

Why are men so stubborn?

Tell him it is too much for you to do and only do what gives you pleasure.
If he wants to stay then he must pay.

Why don’t you just go and do the things you want to do and leave the garden to him? He will then realise for himself that he needs help from another source.

You’re not managing the garden yourself, Jannipans if it’s impacting your life so much. I agree with others who suggest you row back on what you do, be busy elsewhere, have a bad back, or tell him straight you’re not going to do it anymore. What’s the worst that can happen? You’d have a jungle outside, which would be brilliant for wildlife!

Please be honest with him and say that you have a life as well and this is not the future you had in mind. His dream was the garden and you have helped out in the past but now you want to do the things you have worked all your life to do. I hope you have a happy and long retirement.

Pay for a gardener yourself, you do not have to do things just because it is the way he wants it.

If you don't want to garden then stop. Tell him how much, if any, you are happy to do. And stop saying "we need a gardener" Say "if we are staying in this house, I am having a gardener"

The more you do, the more he’ll let you do!

You’ll have to put your foot down and insist that he gets a gardener. Even though you like a tidy garden, he’ll crack first if you stand your ground.

Sago

I would suddenly have a bad back!

That's the best idea, I think.

I can sympathise. I am not a gardener. I don't want to do gardening, I have other interests. I don’t enjoy it, don’t have the energy, but since DH died, I have to do what I can manage, to meep it tidy, unless my daughter can spare some time to help.
If I can find the right person I will gladly pay the going rate.

Maybe you could ask around and find someone to help. DH is not being fair to you. You have enough else to do. Perhaps you could actually neglect the garden for a bit and let him realise it is too much for you.

I'd just leave it alone for a fortnight!

Find a gardener PDQ.

I pay someone to mow the lawn, prune and tidy which leaves me the jobs I like. I can enjoy sitting out without feeling guilty and I can protect my back.

just be honest with him.
Tell him you don't want all your time being taken up by gardening and you would like a gardener to do the bits that you currently do or discuss which aspects your DH likes to do best and which he would like a gardener to take over so he can just concentrate on the bits he likes best.

Could you invent "a friends son" who has just started his own business and is looking for work?

Or a younger family member, or somebody you'd be doing a favour by letting them do some gardening for you?

I would suddenly have a bad back!