Adult grandkids

I have the reverse policy to many. My 7 GC range from 15 to 25. From 15 to 20 I give them money. Over 20 money seems wrong somehow and I give them presents - often household-y things since they're emerging from the student cast-off unmatching plates and fraying bathmats and wanting things for their flat shares.
And usu something bigger for their birthdays and a nice mug and a book for Christmas since 7 come expensive at Christmas.

I think I will do as I did for my siblings and nephews and nieces: give them presents until they have children, and then buy for those instead. I have one childfree brother who still gets a token gift at almost 70, much to his amusement.

chimes22

I give money but I want to know should I give a substantial amount or save money for my care in the future

Only give what you feel you can afford ....don't leave yourself short ...very often adult children have more money than the grand parent ....2 of my DC do ...my mum still gives them gifts but I would not want her to go short ...but the DC are very generous with my mum

I give money but I want to know should I give a substantial amount or save money for my care in the future

I've always given a gift( money or a present) to my son and daughter and their partners and the grandchildren whatever their age.
Christmas and birthdays. Eggs for the children for Easter
All the children have a set amount and the mums buy the presents, they know what the children like I don't. Works well for me the children receive something they want.
The adults always tell me what they bought with the money.

Our GC are still young, so of course we buy presents, but we have stopped giving gifts or money to our AC. We never know what they want and what is the point in giving money? They are both well off and don't need monetary gifts from us. We always send cards and have a chat on the phone.

Once our teenage grandchildren begin full time work they will switch from the child birthday budget to the lower adult budget and be treated the same as their parents. All adults in our family have just a (small) token Christmas gift at the request of our daughter in law. The same will happen for the grandchildren once they are fully in the world of work. There will of course be cards and we’ll make sure there is regular contact. We’ll still contribute according to our means for ad hoc life events, whether that be a big car bill or a need for suitable clothes for a workplace. We’re trying to be fair to everyone. Sadly our parents didn’t live long enough to have adult grandchildren so no tradition to follow.

BlueBelle you and me both! I can’t imagine not giving them all something, if funds become depleted it may only be a token but it will still be given with love!

My eldest grandchild is 35 and I still send her money for birthdays and Christmas. Also little gifts for Easter and anniversaries. I like to give them all a treat if I can as I don't see them often. We all keep in touch daily with WhatsApp etc.

Yes, Birthday and Easter, Christmas money.

Money when appropriate as adults (as their mums received).

AskAlice - I’m so pleased that you had a great childhood. Love is the most important ingredient for a happy childhood. In the little enclave I grew up in, a new bday dress and a tea party was the norm. No big birthday presents like the kids have now.

crazyH, my Mum and Dad always made an effort for my birthday and those of my siblings, even though money was very tight at times! I had family birthday teas, cards and small presents from parents and my brothers (obviously courtesy of Mum and Dad!) and Mum was very good at baking so a home-made birthday cake was a highlight! I don't remember ever having a party with friends but then none of my friends at school had them either so I didn't feel hard done by! Just the way it was, and we always felt loved and secure so that was more important, I think.

I really didn't have a particularly close relationship with my GM, but as I said I hadn't ever known any different so it didn't make me feel sad at the time or even now, to be honest. What you don't have, you don't miss!

Askalice - that’s sad….. growing up, I always had a new outfit for my birthday and a tea-party. But frankly, I can only remember one grandparent and we called her ‘blind Nana’ , for obvious reasons. I don’t think she was very involved with our bdays etc. She couldn’t.

I never had a birthday card or present from my only surviving grandparent, and only one Christmas present which was totally age-inappropriate (a toddler-type book when I was 9!) To be fair, she was what was considered quite elderly way back when I was born (she was 75 and already had 8 granchildren) so it didn't really impact me greatly as I knew no different. But I am determined to mark my GC's birthdays as long as I am able so that they know I am thinking of each of them on their special day. What I do will change over the years, obviously. My oldest GC is now 12 and youngest is 16 months. It will be interesting for me to learn what other GPs do for older GC.

I give money and say to spend it on something frivolous.

Our only grandchild is 9, however my parents continued to give our children birthday and Christmas gifts til they died!

My eldest granddaughter has a birthday this weekend, I'm sending her an Air BnB voucher via email, as she loves travelling. I think she's 25

My oldest is 24, my youngest is five.
Birthdays the two oldest get money, but Christmas I always supplement that with some little gifts.
I love them all, and like to treat them all year round.

Btw I have 6 GC

Why would anyone stop giving money for AC or AGC ? The older I get, the more I give. One of my d.I.ls will soon be 40 and I have just transferred quite a decent sum to her account. I have set up a S/O for pocket money for each of my GC. I don’t have many demands on my money, so I’d rather they have it now than after I’ve gone.

Even if you have never been thanked for money / gifts unless you happen to see them on the actual day and even if they never get in touch or have any meaningful sort of relationship with you?

Yes, always. Mine range from 4 to nearly 27! All 9 of them. Money for the older ones.

Yes our eldest GD is nearly 26 and we always give her a small gift and some money, her siblings are 15 and 14 and they always ask for money when we ask them what they want for their birthdays. We also give the two younger GC pocket money each month.

I will always give my grandchildren and great grandchildren gifts as long as I’m able.
My mum still gave gifts to her GGS even though she was 92 and he’s 21.

I won't stop giving my GCs presents just because they are adults. I still give gifts to my ACs in their fifties.