Later life dating

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Fingers crossed for you obviously.

I've given up myself - there might always be a "bolt from the blue" but I regard it as 101% unlikely I'm afraid.

The nearest I've come is I've got two intelligent male friends here that I can have good conversations with - but that's as far as it goes. Thought I might have met a "possible" recently (though he doesn't own a house - so it would have been just dating...) until I saw a comment from him online to the effect of being interested in what looked like an orgy LOL (yep....things can be a bit "free and easy" amongst a section of the local population here and I'm still wondering if a local community hall knows just what sort of social event they recently let it out for.....ahem). Not for me....

I've become very aware of the second half of the sentence of "after a nurse or a purse" and thought "Maybe I've still got it after all" when a couple of younger men seemed interested - but in a poor area like I'm in now even a woman of "modest means" like myself might get attention from a man because even her "modest means" is more than he has (yep...I've just got a two-bedroom house and a low job pension on top of my State Pension). So the person even with only "half a loaf" looks good to the man with just "breadcrumbs" and that happens a lot to women in this area (can't speak for the rest of the country) and I'm gobsmacked at the women for putting up with it - but decent men are noticeably scarce here it seems. Unless two people have moved here from outside as a couple or are a local couple that met here back rather earlier in their lives then there is a lot of women here in this area that are with men that are "less than them" (less money/less intelligence/outdated attitudes to women etc).

Be very very careful on these dating sites I’ve just watched love rats some men have run off with their partners money how can women be so gullible.

I think if you are serious about meeting someone, it makes more sense to join a group and meet in the flesh on common ground. Wherever you live, there are social groups for seniors so you shouldn't have difficulty finding one to suit your interests.
I have been 'chatted up' in my local charity shop while perusing the books. There are a couple of men who share my preference in reading material and it's easy to start a discussion on which authors you prefer. Also, unlike a library, you are free to chat in a charity shop. An obvious follow-up would be to have coffee together, though that hasn't happened yet!

Tried dating apps, frequently the second sentence made reference to my underwear!
However I have had a couple of nice dates, not that they went anywhere but still nice nevertheless.

One chap stated he just wanted a chat friend which I thought ok fair enough but then revealed he occasionally cross dressed
Ok……….,,,..,, I thought, not for me
I cooled the conversation and thought it might would die a natural death.
However his kindness and perseverance led me to eventually agreeing meet him for coffee.
I couldn’t wish for a kinder more considerate understanding un-jealous platonic companion, excellent dancing partner too!

I think you are very fortunate to meet someone in later life on a dating site. The people I know that used them, never did and eventually gave up. You could use them as a means of just meeting new people and take it light heartedly. I missed the boat, I was so heartbroken when my husband died I knew I couldn't have anyone in his place, looking back I was too young to do that but you cant help how you feel. I would have liked male company but twice when asked out they made it clear they expected more. So I did and do things I enjoy, there are men but no one i would be interested in outside the meet ups.

Deedaa

Last week I saw a man of 80 advertising for an attractive lady. He was looking fir someone between 33 and 55!

If he’s got money he will probably find one too but it’s unlikely to end happily, great potential for gold diggers.

I owned a dating agency in the eighties. It was shameful back then and I had lots of successful relationships. Now it’s the norm.

Don’t give up on the walking and dancing! My husband and I are in our 70’s and went to a great dancing school - ballroom etc and there were plenty of older men there who enjoyed dancing and were willing to learn more. They had social dances too with lots of interested people - male and female. We only gave up because my husband had foot problems related to his diabetes and couldn’t dance for a while. Happy dancing and walking! And good luck with finding the right man.

I met my second husband online , it was 15 years ago . Not sure if it's changed much , I knew what type of guy I was looking for and ignored many messages, that were too forward for me. We met at our local coffee shop first and have several lovely dates before things got serious between us . I think its fairer to reject the ones you know you wouldn't be compatible with , shared interests are quite important

Last week I saw a man of 80 advertising for an attractive lady. He was looking fir someone between 33 and 55!

My husband died when I was 60.

I didn’t have a computer and knew nothing about online dating.

I met my now current partner 18years ago at a singles dance.
I went to a lot of them and met a really decent guy.

I would say, don’t go on the internet.
Join clubs, singles, anything you’re interested in. Do it.

I wouldn’t trust the internet.
Unless you want to kiss a lot of frogs etc.

Most men seem to give up. My frind and I just laugh at the facebook offerings. Just what has happened to normal going out and chatting to people with the hope you might find someone compatable. Myself I am looking for trust, no beard, no tatooes, doesn't smoke just someone to enjoy spending time with 68 and counting 😂

Your not being unreadable, you would end up being a carer - not what you want.

When my ex husband traded me in for a younger model I initially dabbled with online dating sites. Unfortunately most of the men seemed only interested in one thing! There was one who seemed nice who suggested meeting up, but I was nervous. I waited a while before agreeing to meet, but by then he'd met someone else and said it wouldn't be appropriate as he was seeing someone else. Clearly he was one of the decent ones. It's quite a few years ago now and I soon realised I was able to be self sufficient so I stopped looking for a new man. I've remained single but have a full and busy life. I'm a member of a 'simply walk' group where I've met people of both sexes. Some of us get together and go out for a meal together occasionally. None of the group is romantically involved but we enjoy each other's company on these occasions. I did have a male friend with whom I sometimes attended quiz nights and other social events but his job moved and he now lives at the other end of the country. Since becoming a granny I find I've got more than enough to keep me busy and really don't need dating.
Joining a group of like minded people is the way to go. I expect there are plenty walking groups everywhere at a level to suit you. You may not meet the man of your dreams but are sure to find friendship and companionship.

No, of course you are not unreasonable. You have stated your interests clearly. If a man whose principal interest is stamp-collecting, playing with model trains or watching TV contacts you, without your having indicated that any of these pursuits interest you, and he is not interested in walking or dancing. what on earth was he thinking about?

I wouldn't bother with online stuff. A lot of men on there are undesirable one way or another. I haven't done it myself but a friend has and she had some awful experiences. Why not just get out to meet people? One of my friends met her partner by chatting on a park bench. Another met her partner when she was dog-walking and is now married to him. Another friend met someone when she joined a walking group. There are people of all ages doing all sorts of hobbies. Find what you enjoy and give it a go. This is where you are more likely to meet someone suitable to yourself.

OldFrill

I was approached on a dating site by a guy who l thought was interesting and worth meeting. I was a little put off by his lack of height (5ft 6). How pleasantly surprised l was when he turned out to be 5ft 11. It was a typo on his part. We are married now and l would still have married him had he been 5ft 6 as he's an absolute gem.

What a lovely post!

I was approached on a dating site by a guy who l thought was interesting and worth meeting. I was a little put off by his lack of height (5ft 6). How pleasantly surprised l was when he turned out to be 5ft 11. It was a typo on his part. We are married now and l would still have married him had he been 5ft 6 as he's an absolute gem.

On the face of it any two people might look totally unsuited but I wouldn’t take that as a sign that others are not right for us. Hobbies can be enjoyed with anyone. Being in a living space and day to day things in a harmonious way is far more important. Actually essential.
If you think they look nice and or interesting give it a chance. It’s really hard to find a good fit at any age and especially as we get older. The word compromise comes to mind.. and that works both ways. The couch potato may have given up a bit and just waiting for someone like you to get them motivated again. There will no doubt be aspects of you that they might wish were different.

Having said all that I hear you and there does need to be enough to work with. If the person is nice enough try dating a few times before writing them off.

Good luck. Many older people have fallen in love again. I hope you do too!

I'm not looking for a 24/7 relationship. I would like a fellow with whom to go to the theatre, sports events, etc. and out for dinner [dutch] once in a while.

How lovely to hear of a happy ending pen.
My experience of the world of online dating is limited to a good friend.
Shamefully I have to confess that we had much laughter as she regaled us with some of her er ...interesting encounters on the dating front line.

If I was looking for somebody, I’d take up golf. That’s where all the active single men I know spend their time, you’d be guaranteed to meet at least two or three different people every time you stay in the clubhouse for a drink after a round (and they don’t tend to be the ones looking for a nursemaid).

I'm 67. I met DH on a dating site in 2018 and we married three years ago. He's incredibly fit, and enjoys dancing.

Not sure about blues, I met my dearest in the bar at the local Rugby club, quite a few single ladies “take an interest” in Rugby