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Cheating online

(25 Posts)
NannySue45 Fri 20-Sept-24 23:17:30

I'm concerned my husband is constantly in touch with another female through messages etc. They are always online/offline at exactly the same time .. am I being paranoid? My husband has past history of this behaviour..... I thought he'd grown out of it 😬

Oreo Fri 20-Sept-24 23:32:57

How do you know that they’re always online/ offline at the same time? Do you know her?
It’s a fact that a lot of men ‘cheat’ by having long online conversations with those who may or may not be women, how can one know? It doesn’t mean he’ll go out and meet her, the act of messaging is often enough for them.Not nice for you tho.
You need to have a talk with him about this and say you’re unhappy and won’t stand for it.

MissAdventure Sat 21-Sept-24 01:16:17

I think you need to be sure that you're right before accusing your husband if anything.

He may well have learned his lesson last time, but I wouldn't stand for my (imaginary) husband to be spending time messaging someone else.

DiamondLily Sat 21-Sept-24 18:02:25

Well, emotional infidelity can happen online. But it depends on their relationship. I’ve got online male friends, many I’ve had for many years, most I know in real life, but they’re strictly platonic.🙂

Gotellthebees Sat 21-Sept-24 18:44:38

If you ask him, and he reassures you, would you believe him?

AreWeThereYet Sat 21-Sept-24 18:48:18

How would you know they are on/off at exactly the same time??? Does sound a bit paranoid without any facts.

Angela59 Sat 19-Oct-24 05:44:04

Gotellthebees

If you ask him, and he reassures you, would you believe him?

This x

BlueBelle Sat 19-Oct-24 07:06:10

Don’t see how you know they are both online ???

Babs03 Sat 19-Oct-24 07:27:51

Am confused, to know exactly when the woman is online or offline as well as your husband she would have to be with you most of the time.
Anyway, if your husband has done this before is understandable that you would feel suspicious, building trust after a breach like this can’t be easy when, like many of us, he is probably online quite a lot. And it really isn’t a case of growing out of it your husband is a grown man who needs to take responsibility for his actions as well as your lack of trust in him.
There is only one way to deal with this and that is to ask him outright if he is cheating online. Of course there is the chance he will deny it but tbh if you feel so insecure in your relationship after the last episode you need to tell him and both of you need to decide where you go from there.
Wishing you luck with this.

dragonfly46 Sat 19-Oct-24 07:48:17

On WhatsApp you can see if a contact is online. I am guessing this is how she knows.

eazybee Sat 19-Oct-24 08:16:58

Ask your husband.
No-one on here will know; you clearly suspect , so you have to ask.
Unless you ask the other person involved?

flappergirl Sat 19-Oct-24 08:42:25

In my experience most men are incapable of having purely platonic relationships with women. Even if they manage to keep the facade at surface level, deep down they are always hoping for "more". If your husband has previous then your suspicions are probably valid. Apart from anything else if his behaviour is causing you upset then he should prioritise his wife's feelings and not those of another woman.

ginny Sat 19-Oct-24 08:49:03

There really is no point just telling us.
Have a conversation with your husband.

fancythat Sat 19-Oct-24 16:12:09

Some good replies on here.

How did he stop last time?

kircubbin2000 Sat 19-Oct-24 20:08:24

0n what's app you can see who is on line.

Steelygran Sat 19-Oct-24 20:16:55

No I don't think you're being paranoid, especially if he's done it before. For some men, the attention and ego boost they receive from doing this is addictive. As others have said, ask him and hope he'll be honest with you. It's hard living with someone you don't trust. Good luck.

BlueBelle Sat 19-Oct-24 21:05:27

Well poster hasn’t come back in a month so I think we have been had

fancythat Sat 19-Oct-24 21:42:57

I hadnt noticed it was a month old.

But the poster does post from time to time on the site.

OldFrill Sat 19-Oct-24 22:32:59

On one of her posts she says her husband has prostate cancer.

Coolgran65 Sun 20-Oct-24 01:44:25

On FB Messenger you can also tell who is on line.
To be able to see this the woman would have to be a 'friend' of the OP.

HeavenLeigh Sat 21-Dec-24 17:56:17

Why don’t you ask him

Skydancer Sat 21-Dec-24 18:00:40

Problem is if she asks him and he admits it. What then?

lemsip Sat 21-Dec-24 18:04:03

OP written
in SEPT

Escamilla Sun 22-Dec-24 11:24:10

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Cossy Sun 22-Dec-24 11:35:28

flappergirl

In my experience most men are incapable of having purely platonic relationships with women. Even if they manage to keep the facade at surface level, deep down they are always hoping for "more". If your husband has previous then your suspicions are probably valid. Apart from anything else if his behaviour is causing you upset then he should prioritise his wife's feelings and not those of another woman.

Sadly, I agree