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MIL and DIL Expectations... what are yours?

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AliceBlack Fri 04-Oct-24 18:04:11

I'm definitely not writing an article. I'm try to gain some different perspectives to help me manage my own relationships.

I have a rough relationship with my MIL due to mismatched expectations and I want to be careful with my own expectations both towards her and my future DIL. I've been married for 25 years and the struggles have continued despite attempts at communication.

My thinking here is that if I throw this out to both sides I can get a feel for each and avoid future pitfalls.

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Smileless2012 Fri 04-Oct-24 18:01:44

You could start us off by sharing your expectations OP.

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welbeck Fri 04-Oct-24 17:59:21

are you writing an article ?

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AliceBlack Fri 04-Oct-24 17:48:30

It seems that many MILs and DILs struggle with finding their footing and that a lot of the relationship conflict is rooted in expectations.

By this I mean that both the MIL and DIL have certain expectations that perhaps they can't even identify as such and yet the failure of the other to meet the expectations leads to disharmony.

Some MILs, for example, expect their DIL to maintain the relationship on behalf of the couple pair, perhaps through regular phone calls and visits. Or maybe they expect to treat the couples' home as an extension of their own because they are family.

DILs, it seems, come with their own expectations. They want MIL to be warm and welcoming. Or maybe they want MIL to help with childcare at a moment's notice.

What are/were your expectations as a DIL? How about as a MIL?

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