1. For the light at night you could try your phone torch light if it is good but I would consider a head torch. Sounds a bit over the top but you obviously put it on your head, so not carrying it which leaves your hands free to prevent falls etc.
2. Sit down when you are on your own and write down a list of things that need sorting out and what you would like to happen, to improve matters. Then try and think if there is someone that you both trust and would be prepared to listen to, and have a meeting with them , or alternatively contact a marriage councillor or advisor . Having someone else there who will be independant and also will probably tone down his bullying attitude.
3. State your own needs i.e. you must have light for safety reasons to go to the bathroom etc. Therefore you will use a light of your choice and he can either wear a mask , pull the duvet over his face, or accept that there are two of you living there and the idea is you actually try to help each other. Another person might be able to suggest that he tries walking himself in the night without switching any lights on. If he agrees to try it then just move some slippers or chair a very little away from their normal position so that he actually can see what could happen.
4. If you are unsteady on your feet then it would be good to contact your surgery and I know there are sort of classes about avoiding falls etc and they would be able to check if there was any medical reason - such as inner ear infection - that affects your balance.
5. Keep a written note of what you do and what happens etc etc and so you will be able to see if he is really prepared to make an effort to improve matters. If you see some improvements you may be able to work out a way of enjoying your time together. If he makes little or no effort at all start thinking what you would like to do with your life. If there is no give and take , it is not worth spending your daily life feeling bullied and afraid of falling etc. Perhaps start by thinking what you enjoy, so you might take up swimming or join a gardening club or look in you local directory that will be in your library, which usually the local clubs give all their details in and you can find something you enjoy.
Dont try and do too much at once but you can make your own new years resolution to enjoy your life more Whether that means finding a new way of life together, or realizing that your life together is miserable , you can take control of your life, even if he is not prepared to change at all. Oh and do look into the financial situation such as do you h ave a joint account etc and get some idea of what you might need to do to sort things out.
Nearly always holidays tend to exacerbate the situation and so by New Year you will probably be more sure of what you like, what you can put up with, and more importantly what you need to do to keep yourself safe and having some pleasure and purpose in life. Personally I would say a peaceful and happy existance in a bed sit or flat would be preferable to misery in a house. Good luck in whatever you decide . Be sure that which ever way things go, it is YOUR choice for your own life. He has his right to his choices but not to bully you into living the life he wants. I do wish you all the best and hope that all the comments you have read encourage you to see that you have every right to expect better attitudes and treatments
