Miserable Husband

Very sound advice here, Roselley. Spend as much time away from him as is possible, doing the things that make you happy. Don’t allow his moods to bring you down to his level. Sending you the very best of wishes. 💐

Merry Christmas. I hope you enjoyed your walk

Hope you are feeling a bit more positive this morning. Thinking about you.

Didn’t want to read and run. Sending you the best wishes possible for today. Good ideas from other others, go out to a carol service for some quiet reflection. Go out for a walk this afternoon, there will be others to say hello to.
Plan what 2025 will bring you, gather all your documents, financial and personal, make plans and decide your next move.
Hope you have a better 2025.

I hear you.
Been married to an argumentative, moody, very difficult man for almost 40 years.
I should have left him years ago but didn’t because of the children ( usual story )
He sadly isn’t mellowing with age, so I basically spend as much time as I can away from him.
I hope you manage to enjoy today despite everything.

Make a New Years resolution to do things that make you happy, if he doesn’t want to do things then leave him in the house and do it anyway, don’t let him bring you down.

If he gets in a mood, walk away and do something you enjoy, go out for a walk, put your headphones on and watch a film or something on your iPad or computer, or listen to music, giving him the silent treatment for a while might stir his stumps or not, if not then you can make a decision about what to do next, please don’t try to placate him and cheer him up. It isn’t your job to make him happy.

Potentially you have another 30 plus years to live, do you want to live this way for all of those years?

I’m sorry but some people just try to ruin everything that makes their partners happy, time to try and enjoy your Christmas Day despite him and then sort it out.

Start with that walk today and then start building an indipendent life that does not require you to look to your DH for affirmation of your worth.

Meet up with friends more, find activities outside the house you enjoy and go to them regardless of what your husband does or says. Develop home hobbies that are independent of him.

Refuse to let your husband define you or limit you, he won't change, but you can.

My ex was the same, took the joy out of life. He had depression but also wanted me to feel as miserable as he did inside. I left at 60 and have remarried very happily. It was only when I look back I realise just how miserable I had been but fear held me back from leaving for 30 years. I do hope you can resolve your miserable situation as it can drag you down as well. I really feel for you 💐💐💐💐💐💐

If he’s always been like it, you ve put up and pampered him for too long if it’s only happened recently he should see a doctor (but I expect he won’t)
He sounds as unhappy as you, it’s going to be an ok day today (weatherwise) so take yourself out for a walk (you know what they say about 20 mins in nature) smile and say hello to everyone you meet (I always find some action. a hello, a happy Christmas or even just a smile will lift your spirits and maybe the other persons too )
If there’s anything on in your village or town go to it a nativity or church service, then come home with rosy cheeks. If it’s you that cooks the dinner usually, put some music on as you do it or listen to the radio Pour yourself a drink (or two or three)
Just pretend he’s not there pretend you’re enjoying yourself alone
Have as good a day as you can and when Christmas is over make some plans how to change your life for good 🎄🤗

I'm afraid some people just enjoy being miserable. My own husband was like this and spoiled things for everyone. It was because his mother always fussed over him whenever he put on a mood, and he thought I would do the same.
I just ignored him and tried not to let it affect me.

Good , a GP appointment should help and on this occasion put yourself first , it is self preservation! Your husband may as you say have another issue. Whatever do, think of
yourself , take that Christmas walk tomorrow. The weather across the country is going to be a bit warmer so enjoy your solitude. Take some slow deep breaths as you walk and enjoy whatever is around you. Good luck !

Yes get out of the house for a few hours.
A walk and a trip to a local church for carols and joy.

Be strong and don’t let him bring you down. Just ignore him and find things to do that you enjoy.

Thank you both so much for your kind words they really do help. I suspect it could be depression, but also he won't ever talk about things, so wonder if there's another issue as well. I always put him first so I think for once I need to think about myself so will see my GP after Christmas. I also think if things are no better in the morning I will go for a walk alone

Oh my goodness ! I am so sorry you are so distressed and with good reason by the sound of things. Why on earth is he is a mood about opening Christmas cards!? I am not expert but is sounds like depression, you have been putting up with this far too long. I don't know what to say to comfort you but massive ((((hugs)))) are heading in your direction. He needs to see his GP , would he agree to that? Perhaps after Christmas you could make an appointment for yourself and tell the doctor how you feel and what is happening. It must be so difficult especially at Christmas time. Hope you are able to enjoy tomorrow, how about a visit to church ( even if you are not religious) I am not but do enjoy a Christmas service - preferably a Methodist Church. Failing that , summon up some motivation and take yourself for a walk. Easier said than done, I recognize that. Hope you sleep well tonight and feel brighter when you wake. Look after your self .

I'm sorry you are feeling sad. It will all appear worse tonight. Get to bed and have a good night's sleep. Try your best to enjoy tomorrow and put off thinking about your marriage until Christmas is over. Hope you feel brighter tomorrow x