Why do parents put up with teenagers substandard behaviour?

If these are not your children and I assume you don't live with the, why are you so rattled by it.

Teenagers are not the easiest to look after but its the parents job, as they know their child much better than anyone else.
If they behave reasonably outside the home the parents are probably doing fine and just picking their battles at home.

We have 5 children aged between 22 and 40. They all had their “issues” as teens, but are all now fully functioning, decent, hard working adults.

I really object to your post, your language and, most of all, your total ignorance.

Allira

I think if my mother had married a man who thought that discipline meant saying "cut that effing sh*t out NOW" and referred to me as an asshole I'd be playing up too.
In fact I'd make life so difficult for him that he would disappear over the blue horizon, never to be seen again.

Of course, my mother would never have entertained that type of man anyway.

Are you enjoying trying to wind posters up again, OP?

Methinks he is, surely?

If not, he’s an utter “asshole” himself and wouldn’t be allowed within a mile of any of my children.

Cossy

Allira

I think if my mother had married a man who thought that discipline meant saying "cut that effing sh*t out NOW" and referred to me as an asshole I'd be playing up too.
In fact I'd make life so difficult for him that he would disappear over the blue horizon, never to be seen again.

Of course, my mother would never have entertained that type of man anyway.

Are you enjoying trying to wind posters up again, OP?

Methinks he is, surely?

If not, he’s an utter “asshole” himself and wouldn’t be allowed within a mile of any of my children.

Mine neither.
Although mine would be have been giving him the Paddington Bear Stare aka the Death Stare. Then ignore him and carry on as normal.

Perhaps life is different across The Pond.

DH used to call it dumb insolence 😁

Anyone who can't understand that the word 'asshole' used in relation to another human is undermining, insulting and derogatory is clearly not an intelligent person.

It doesn't matter what country they come from, judgment [from an inexperienced viewpoint/lack of knowledge]...and rudeness solves nothing.

If you'd called my sons that as teenagers you'd be out the door. They were learning, they made [not many] mistakes but they always had respect.

Maybe that’s the problem - you may think you’re hiding it, but these teenagers will sense your contempt and disrespect, and will act accordingly.

I think we are talking to a BOT ladies (a very apt name).

Children get away with whatever they're allowed to get away with by the people responsible for them. This usually means their parents, guardians and/or teachers. If you're not legally responsible for these children, then it's not your business to correct their behaviour. Instead, speak to whoever is taking care of their upbringing and welfare (but speak politely with no vulgar name-calling). If they're doing anything illegal, do the same, or notify the police if you feel you have to.

Oops, when I say "do the same" I don't mean "do the same as they do", I mean speak to the relevant responsible people. Sorry, only just noticed the misleading phrase...

Georgesgran

I think we are talking to a BOT ladies (a very apt name).

😁
A terribly polite word in comparison.

Perhaps OP or BOT needs to remember these “assholes” are actually still children!

Barleyfields

visitingwhen

RosiesMaw2

What are teens learning by being allowed to leave food and dishes everywhere, drop clothes everywhere, not contribute, talk back disrespectfully, and on and on

You say you know “two sets of teenagers who…” and from that extrapolate that ALL teenagers drop clothes everywhere, talk back disrespectfully etc etc
All I can say is that your observations are not mine.
Your experience is not mine.
And therefore I cannot see why you are being so condemnatory about all young people.
Perhaps the ones you know sense how you feel about them (“assholes” ) and react accordingly.

People seem to have an issue with the term "*sshole." It’s not a big deal. It’s a perfectly suitable label for how humans behave sometimes—how I behave, and how almost everyone I know behaves at their worst. Sure, it’s not polite, but teens vandalizing artwork in a museum can surely be called "*ssholes.

I certainly have an issue with the language you use about your own stepchildren on this and other threads. What a great example to set them.

they are not n this thread and I do not use nor act out that language with them. you are projecting how you are onto me perhaps?

NonGrannyMoll

Children get away with whatever they're allowed to get away with by the people responsible for them. This usually means their parents, guardians and/or teachers. If you're not legally responsible for these children, then it's not your business to correct their behaviour. Instead, speak to whoever is taking care of their upbringing and welfare (but speak politely with no vulgar name-calling). If they're doing anything illegal, do the same, or notify the police if you feel you have to.

I do not say a word, its not my place to do so

What is a BOT lady!?

whywhywhy

What is a BOT lady!?

The trolling and enforcement of this strange insiders-only club mentality here is somewhat obnoxious. The comment section bullies can have it all—enjoy your echo chamber. I'm out.

visitingwhen

whywhywhy

What is a BOT lady!?

The trolling and enforcement of this strange insiders-only club mentality here is somewhat obnoxious. The comment section bullies can have it all—enjoy your echo chamber. I'm out.

Like I said upthread. Very familiar.

whywhywhy

What is a BOT lady!?

I think there is a comma missing.

It is not generally Kids who vandalise works of Art in Museums but Stop Oil Protestors in their sixties and seventies who should know better!

Sorry why there should have been a comma after BOT, but perhaps, I should have written GNs, rather than ladies too.

I resent sone nonentity referring to my teenagers as ‘*ssholes*’ 😡

crazyH

I resent sone nonentity referring to my teenagers as ‘*ssholes*’ 😡

I think, if this was a BOT, it has been unplugged.

OP you obviously do not know many teen agers but i wouldn't want mine or myself around anyone that calls them what you do,

Yes Teenagers can behave badly but so can Adults too. We have all probably come across them in life and also at times been guilty of behaving badly ourselves. We don't live in a Utopia and there are much worse things going on in the world to worry about. My advice to the OP would be don't sweat the small stuff, get on with your life and stop worrying about how others live theirs. They probably don't even think about what you do or don't do as they are to busy getting on with their own lives.