Going quiet

Am with Redhead on this.

I was married to a man who lived a double life so I am cynical as they can be devious beyond belief.

Going to say he’s not leading a double life is he (it does happen) but you say you stay at his flat for weeks so that can’t be the case.

Have you tried to talk to him about how you feel?

Maybe it's nothing like you think. Life is short, love is a blessing. The only thing that makes it worthwhile is effort shared.
You can go on and express your feelings to know what goes on with him when he's away. We men also need that extra attention sometimes.

I'm glad you also said sometimes, meaning it's not a regular thing. You can do better. Communicate and talk to him about it.

Smiles.

Thank you everyone was helpful

He does not have Facebook.. he is not on any kind of social media he is 64 and very old school

Well, he could message you to let you know he got back safely but perhaps he's just not into texting or on WhatsApp if he's a bit old-fashioned.

Years ago a neighbour whom I didn't know very well said she phoned her DH 3 or 4 times a day at work. 😯
I wouldn't have dreamt of phoning my DH at work unless it was an emergency nor did we phone every night when he worked away either but that was before everyone was attached to their mobile phones.

Some people don’t like communicating via text/message, others aren’t good at small talk and only message when they feel they have something important to say. Some people aren’t good at initiating interaction.
When he’s working he might just be thinking about work and nothing else.
As others have suggested, speaking to him about how you feel and listening to his perspective might be a good idea.
I love company but when I’ve spent a period of time with others or my partner I sometimes need a couple of weeks on my own and the people close to me know and understand that.
You’ve said you’re insecure, what do you think might be behind that?

David Just to say I have already answered the question you ask

Hmm.... I'm sorry to say that (IMO) this sounds (at the very least) like "odd" behaviour. Like others here, I suggest an honest chat. Do you ever go to visit where he stays, when he's away?

It may not even have crossed his mind. Men don’t always attach as much importance to communications as we do. I think this may be more in your mind but there’s only one way to find out and that’s to tell him the way you feel and ask him.

Yes I have stayed at his flat for months on end

He does not have Facebook.. he is not on any kind of social media he is 64 and very old school

Did he ever invite you over to his home? Is he on facebook, if yes, does he let you see his facebook page?
If the answer is no to both questions, then that will be a red flag.

I do feel insecure yes

But I believe that is my own issue perhaps

Yet you say you feel insecure. Are you investing more in this than he is?

Yes I do trust him

Otherwise there would be no point

Thank you @Missadventure n Cossy

Do you trust him Carmen54? I think this is probably what’s making you question things. Time to bring things out into the open if this relationship is to flourish.

MissAdventure

I wouldn't be at all concerned about having to see him every time he wasn't at work.
That would suit me fine.

Me also.

Relationships take many forms.

Please just have an open chat with him.

I personally believe it is a relationship leading somewhere

We have plans to move in together

All his paperwork is at my address

Do you believe that this man has a deep emotional relationship with you which is going to lead to living together when he retires, or is it, on his side, little more than just a sexual relationship?

I wouldn't be at all concerned about having to see him every time he wasn't at work.
That would suit me fine.

Hi Allsorts did explain why only some weekends on previous post thanks

Why does he only see you some weekends if you are his partner?. Perhaps you want more than he does, you need to talk I think.

He comes most weekends

But coming ti me involves alot if travelling..he is 64 and it's draining and tireing for him and so he usually works Saturday if he is not with me and rests the whole if Sunday

I know he works away. But he only sees you ‘some’ weekends. Why not every weekend?