Suffering

Thank you dears. I don't know where I am going to end up but everyone is giving me all sorts of advice like I should do this or do that or sell this or sell that and live on this or try that and I am so confused mostly so I think I will just ignore all advice except know that my DS and his fiance said I can come stay with them. He told me that he is NOT OKAY with people putting their parents in homes and he just wants ME to come home. He is a gem.

keepingquiet
How do I move on from this? There is no moving on. He is my husband. I'm so distraught.

Good morning Macadia, it's good to hear from you.
Have you tried talking to your adult care social worker team for some help and advice for yourself? Were they involved when your husband was admitted to the care home?
You need support for yourself now.

As for your husband talking about the military and attacks, I'm wondering if he's been watching the news reports on television and that's confusing him.

Just wanted to wish you luck, & tell you briefly about my lovely cousin and her husband.

Married for 43 years, she’s 67 he’s 72, last year she had no choice but to find a residential home for him as he became violent and uncontrollable, due to dementia. It upset her and their daughters greatly, but it was the right thing to do for everyone. They all visit regularly and often and are able to take him out for short trips.

Good luck x

mum2three

I'm so sorry to hear of your experiences. I hope others will take this as a warning of what can happen if the signs of dementia are ignored.
I hope you get through this and spend the rest of your life at peace.

What happened to the OP has nothing to do with the signs of dementia being ignored as you put it. I had many similar experiences during the time I cared for my husband. His condition/symptoms certainly weren't being ignored by me or the team of health professionals involved with his care.

Macadia, deepest sympathy for you and your husband. I admire your positive and forgiving outlook.

It’s very early days still for you Macadia. Your body and brain need some rest and peace. Just go with the flow for now. Once your last brain surgery is complete you can take some time to take stock and process what has happened. Don’t rush it. Perhaps spend some time with your family and in the future try venturing out for some company. There’s no rush to make ‘friends’ - even small interactions with other people can lift your spirits. You are still grieving, be kind to yourself and know you have done your best for your husband. X

Macada, I have been following your story- you are an amazing and courageous woman. Your heart must be broken. This is such a frightening and disturbing period of life you and your DH. I hope I can be as strong as you in the future. 15 months since my DH was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease although the symptoms were evident long before that. He is already forgetting recent conversations/ arrangements, denying all knowledge of any decisions we might have made. He then becomes argumentative and says " I know nothing about this " and refuses to stick to what we had arranged! He feels he is losing control and life is becoming very difficult. We are not as far down the path as you but I fear for the future. My heart goes out to you, it is horrendous to watch your life long friend and partner change so dramatically. Dementia is a cruel disease that offers no respite it is relentless. My husband is sometimes convinced I have said something when I haven't ! I then question myself and ask myself " did I say that" ? It is frightening and painful to see the man you love so very different . Your DH is safe now and so are you, you have a lovely son - enjoy him ! I send you strength and good wishes - you are a very brave woman.

💐 I have no words Macadia other than to wish you well, and don’t forget to come back to GN to rant, complain, cry, whatever you feel the need to do…….we are all here for you. Stay strong.

There is a YouTube I watch.
I think it's called
John and Heather's Dementia Journey.
I think his name is John VanGurp.
They live in Halifax Nova Scotia and Heather has recently gone to live in a care home called Northwood.
He usually does a short video each day and they ate worth watching.
Sorry I can't do links on my phone.

youtube.com/@johnvangurp?si=rZzeWTB33O4Zihkg

Here you are welbeck 😊

Welcome back Macadia

Dear Macadia. Thank you for getting back in touch with us... what a tough time! But glad this is a new season where your husband can also be safe and cared for. Do you still have dogs in your life- hope so xxxc

Hello, Macadia, thinking of you today and wishing you well for your final brain surgery, I think you mentioned that it was June 27. Wishing you a speedy recovery to better health. 💐🙏

I only started to read your posts today Macademia. Although I do remember your name from some time ago. What a tough journey you have had.
I hope your surgery today goes very well and that you have a speedy recovery.

Hello 👋 Dustyangel, hope you and yours are doing OK.

I’m also thinking of you today, Macademia, I hope your operation goes well and please do come back and give us all an update 🩷🩷

Sorry Macadia

Couldn’t sleep, so I was just browsing and saw this thread.
It’s over 3 weeks since your Surgery - hope you are recovering well after surgery. Keep in touch

Same here a silly worry keeping me awake. I wish you a good recovery and peace of mind X.

Wishing you well, Macadia.