Sister not talking to me any more

Hello cossy
Visiting is not really doable as she lives abroad and right now I don’t think I would be welcome

There's a lot to be said for the old phrase 'neither a borrower nor a lender be'. I certainly wouldn't be lending her any more money. She can't be as close as you think she is if she's ignoring you - it's probably a form of emotional blackmail on her part. I would ignore her too.

I would concentrate on the human side (not on the number side)

Why she needs this much money?
Why did she threaten suicide?
Why does she need more money?

I find it curious you concentrate so much on the money and getting it back (which you may not) and not on her mental health, given you have/had a close relationship

She said she was going to harm herself and and now she is not phoning or returning calls.

People are focussing on the money but isn't the real issue that, whatever trouble she is in, she is feeling desperate and needs support.

Whatever this is: mortgage, rent, credit card debt, gambling, drugs, extortion, someone needs to see her, someone from the emergency services wherever she is living, who can assess her mental state and signpost her to support services.

Do you know anything about her personal circumstances? It does sound as though she’s being coerced. A good idea to go to see her if possible or maybe a zoom

I would not have lent her such a huge amount without knowing why first. I think she has got herself into deep trouble somehow. You can try to get to the bottom of it by going to see her, but I fear you will never see a penny of your loan returned

Please dig a bit further

Something sounds very wrong.

Is visiting her do/able?

Good luck, sounds a horrendous situation

Hello pascal30
Yes I don’t understand why she hasn’t mentioned it before
There is something she is not telling

Hello poppyred
I don’t think she is the sort to gamble
I don’t know how she is going to pay me back
I am even wondering whether her not talking to me is a strategy to avoid paying me back

If you've been sharing holidays and regular phone calls why hasn't she mentioned this before? Is she being coerced maybe.

I would be tempted to go and visit her to try and find out what is happening. I would not give her any more money without doing that..

Is she gambling?? If so, you are enabling her. I wouldn’t have lent her any money without a reason for it. Don’t lend her anymore, how is she going to pay you back?

No it’s the first time

None of your relatives have any idea either, why she suddenly needs so much money?

I would be getting to the bottom of that first.

Has she borrowed money from any of you before?