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So I've been dating my boyfriend for a few months now and suddenly for some reason unknown to me my boyfriend's mom has decided that I am distracting him from the things he needs to do which are actually things I've been helping do better at and making sure he does what needs to be done.
He has stated that he doesn't want to break up but he feels that his mom supports him financially so much that he couldn't afford to leave but also feels like that is his mom and that he would doing the wrong thing by choosing to come live with me instead of staying with her.
The way he words things when talking about the situation sounds very much like mom is manipulating him with his currently financial status and threatening to take away her support if he isn't single. Also sounds like a lot of guilt trip with him saying but she's always been there for me and supported me. Now I am in no way trying to tell him to cut his mom out of his life but he also thinks if he was to choose to move out of there and move in with me that his mother would never talk to him again, once again in my eyes a manipulation. I don't understand where this came from because from my understanding me and his mom got along and saw eye to eye on a lot of things when it comes to my boyfriend so for her to all of a sudden feel like I'm such a threat that needs to be removed. The only thing I can think of is that she didn't like the idea of him moving out and being able to have a family outside of her.
That's actually partly why I'm making this post so both him and I can see what people think about the situation. This whole situation really bothers and hurts me because I don't believe I have done anything to bring this on from her other than her not wanting him to leave.
I don't know what to do moving forward in this situation. We still talk to each other everyday we just don't see each other as much as we were but for me that's extremely hard. I don't see this as normal mom behavior... At 26 years old I don't think he should be receiving ultimatums from his mom about his relationships just because he was thinking of moving in with me.
How can I approach either him or his mom in order to fix this situation? Or do I just give it some time and see how things unfold and hope that he sees the situation like I do? I really care about him a lot and our connection is amazing. I don't want to make him feel like he has to choose between his mom and me.
Thanks for any and all advice on this.
BlueBelle
At 26 and only been in the relationship a few months why on earth are you talking about him moving in with you
You are pushing this much too fast let things swing along no wonder his mum s got her antenna up
Why are you on a granny site at 26 years old I wouldn’t dream of coming on a group like this when I was 26 would even know about it
I m not sure this isn’t one of ‘those posts’ from US
Of course it's from the US
MOM
JdotJ
BlueBelle
At 26 and only been in the relationship a few months why on earth are you talking about him moving in with you
You are pushing this much too fast let things swing along no wonder his mum s got her antenna up
Why are you on a granny site at 26 years old I wouldn’t dream of coming on a group like this when I was 26 would even know about it
I m not sure this isn’t one of ‘those posts’ from USOf course it's from the US
MOM
We do say Mom in the Midands.
But write it Mum.
I never thought that was weird until now.
😂
Don’t think we know how old the OP is? She could be any age, but presumably not a gran.
OP why not contact mumsnet they are a generation younger than we are.
Well the boyfriend is 26 so hopefully she’s may be around the same ish I m guessing not 56
Anyway I think ‘Schools out’ for Easter
Run away, and fast. He’s a mummy’s boy and I suspect unlikely to change because he’s nice and comfortable where he is.
Sounds like he is very young in his mum's eyes and should not be moving to a woman's home because he has not got any money. I think she is saving you from him
I foresee all sorts of problems for you until this man is ready to leave the nest and stand up to his mother on his own and your behalf. If I were you I would be out of that situation rather swiftly.
BlueBelle
Well the boyfriend is 26 so hopefully she’s may be around the same ish I m guessing not 56
Anyway I think ‘Schools out’ for Easter
His Granny might be on here 😯
Woe betide anyone who disses my grandson.
Watch episodes of Sorry Ronnie Corbett.
That will cure you of going for a mummy's boy. www.dailymotion.com/video/x7otsyz
Some say “mam” but never ever heard anyone refer to their mother as “mom” in this part of the “the midlands”🫤
What is a mom? Does it mean mother in English?
Mom is used in North America instead of Mum
Granmarderby10
Some say “mam” but never ever heard anyone refer to their mother as “mom” in this part of the “the midlands”🫤
Mom is used in Birmingham.
I lived in Birmingham for 2 years in the 1960's and never heard anyone saying mom.
DS is in Nottingham. I'll ask him.
But my DM was a mummy not a mum.
I'm a mum.
Oh, honey, I think sadly he's going to be too (emotionally) married to Mummy to ever be able to marry you or be a good partner to you.
You need to RUN. Find a REAL man who is prepared to be a partner to YOU, not his Mummy and/or Daddy.
I worked in Walsall for two years and regularly heard ‘Mom’ in the families I worked with right across the Black Country.
nightowl
I worked in Walsall for two years and regularly heard ‘Mom’ in the families I worked with right across the Black Country.
Aha! Maybe I wasn't listening. Girls at my posh school perhaps called their mums, Ma and Pa 🤣😂
I have, or used to have, a Readers Digest atlas of Great Britain which showed some local words .
I remember the various words for the lefthanded . None of them nice.
Corrie fisted was one such apparently named for the Clan Kerr who were lefthanded and built their castle stairs to their advantage when swordsmen attacked.
There were also dialect words such as
cack handed,
dollie pawed,
caggie handed etc.
southpaw is American derived from baseball
I only recognise cack handed from the list but thought it applied to anyone who had been clumsy. Not someone left handed.
Sinistre is Left in Italian,
Gauche is left in French
No doubt many other examples, going back to the Middle Ages probably . I might have a look but none positive I fear.
Cackhanded - clumsy.
It's not rude.
2 of my DS are left handed and both had difficulty at school and appeared clumsy when using a scissors the right way.
It's a right handed world although the keyboard is a great leveller.
Cack handed comes from cack =shit
In many cultures the left hand is reserved for wiping your bum. Perhaps it was in Britain at one time too.
My DGF was left handed and had to have his left hand tied behind his back at school. He wasn't allowed to use his native tongue (Gaelic) either so altogether a hard upbringing.
Sorry I have completely gone off topic! 😂🤣
The OP is young enough to begin a sentence with "So".
Well spotted Caleo and has gone away back to America
Cack-handed is defined as clumsily but I didn't know cack meant excrement.
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