Won't wear his hearing-aid

loopyloo

You have all my sympathy.
Deafness is really difficult to live with.
How long has he had that hearing aid? Or since he has his ears tested?

You try being the one who needs the aids!!

I was completely fed up of having to repeat myself to my DH all the time, so arranged an audiology appointment for him. It was just after Covid so wasn’t allowed to go with him. He came back without hearing aids, stating that the audiologist had told him he had 6 months to decide whether he wanted any or not?? I’m sure he made that up!! Anyway arranged another appointment and went with him this time. Hearing aids in place we came home. That was nearly 4 years ago now and no he doesn’t wear them! I only ask him something once, if he says What? Or pardon, I just walk away!

silverlining48

I have newish aids too, and what I hear is tinny and distorted and much too loud. I wore them every day for a few hours but found they make my ears itch terribly, so they are back in their boxes fir now,
My dh and friends get irritated with me that I don’t use them, but I would, if only they helped.
I might try again this afternoon.

Please persevere.
There is good evidence that they enrich our lives if we embrace them.

I'm sure you don't really want to be the one unable to chat...

Poppyred

I was completely fed up of having to repeat myself to my DH all the time, so arranged an audiology appointment for him. It was just after Covid so wasn’t allowed to go with him. He came back without hearing aids, stating that the audiologist had told him he had 6 months to decide whether he wanted any or not?? I’m sure he made that up!! Anyway arranged another appointment and went with him this time. Hearing aids in place we came home. That was nearly 4 years ago now and no he doesn’t wear them! I only ask him something once, if he says What? Or pardon, I just walk away!

That must be so frustrating.
He’s in denial that he needs them possibly.

We have an old man in the care home where I work and we have to shout at the top of our voices with him as he won’t have a hearing test let alone aids.Otherwise he’s a nice and reasonable person.

The trouble is that if he does not use it, his brain will stop responding to sound. My DH got a shock when he asked me to turn the TV up a bit and I told him it was already on 14 (normal for me, slightly deaf and without my aids in, is 9 with 10 for US series).
First he blamed the TV but DGS told him it was blaring. He has ordered some in-the-ear ones even though he has some really good NHS ones.
Is it the look of them, or awkwardness with specs (I find this)? My mother in law had some fitted to the arms of her specs.

Tell him that it can lead to dementia if he does not

My DH wouldn’t wear his hearing aids initially. I made him turn the tv down and he said he couldn’t hear it. Well, I told him to wear his hearing aids. He takes them out at night and it’s impossible to talk to him in the morning. He knows he can’t hear and wants me to talk very loudly. I generally don’t engage. It’s too much like hard work.

Before he had them he was a nightmare. I kept on and on at him! In the end I told him he wasn’t being fair and he wasn’t only annoying me but also his family, the neighbours etc. I finally, finally got him to wear them.

He has NHS very modern aids and now he knows how to adjust them for volume and Bluetooth.

I’m sorry he’s being such a pain in the proverbial. Hope you manage to find a solution soon.

win you make a lot of good points.

I went for a hearing test purely because I'd read about the link between uncorrected hearing loss and dementia.
Mum died with Alzheimer's and Dad has vascular dementia so I was keen to do anything to help with avoiding that!

Turned out I have some hearing loss in the upper register, which could affect how I hear words containing the letters S, F and H (I think that's right).

I started with the free NHS aids, then as my husband and friends have private aids and like them I thought I'd try them as well.
Scrivens offer a 60 day, money back guarantee with private aids: if you don't like them for whatever reason, all your money is returned

I found I really didn't like the phone calls, and listening to the radio through my phone, coming straight into my hearing aids! It might sound silly but I found it claustrophobic.
The audiologist disabled this feature, and in the end I decided I was paying for stuff I wasn't using so I cancelled my contract.

I've gone back to my NHS aids.
I have an app on my phone where I can adjust the settings and volume. I'm happy with that.

I've found wearing the hearing aids has helped with my tinnitus.

NAVEH PHARMA Itchy Ears Remedy:... www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CD5SHJSC?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share&tag=gransnetforum-21

I've found this lightweight oil very useful for the itchy ears some people describe, I had the same problem.
This doesn't seem to clog the hearing aids like some thicker oil drops can.

If he won't make an effort to hear/listen, get a notebook and write down your question. Does he use subtitles to watch tv? If so, he will therfore be accustomed to reading words. Or stand in front of your DH so he can see and perhaps hear you speaking. Hopefully he will be driven to do something about his hearing. My late DH became deaf in his late 40s eventually having a cochlear implant and at one stage I had to always be facing him when speaking.

I had this with my Dad (no longer with us). He had private ones which he wouldn’t wear as he didn’t want to pay for new batteries. Then he spent a fortune buying rechargeable ones, we thought if he will wear them now it will be worth it. But he wouldn’t wear them as he said he didn’t need them and were in their box charging 99% of the time. He complained that with them in traffic was too loud and the ticking clock got on his nerves. So frustrating

Jan135

I had this with my Dad (no longer with us). He had private ones which he wouldn’t wear as he didn’t want to pay for new batteries. Then he spent a fortune buying rechargeable ones, we thought if he will wear them now it will be worth it. But he wouldn’t wear them as he said he didn’t need them and were in their box charging 99% of the time. He complained that with them in traffic was too loud and the ticking clock got on his nerves. So frustrating

All his complaints were valid, but when you use the aids ALL THE TIME your brain gets used to it all eventually, some take longer than others. It is never perfect with hearing aids. a group sounds like world war 3 and you are totally isolated at parties, but one to one they are fantastic. I use my Roger pen in small groups but never in a restaurant as it picks up the back ground noises too. You can however cut off the background noises on the digital NHS aids non programme 2 you just hear the person speaking, you may have to turn the volume up a bit as it makes everything more quiet including the Tinnitus as someone else mentioned. Someone else was surprised her husband takes them out at night. I have never known anyone sleeping with their hearing aid in, that would half hurt. Perhaps for a short nap in a chair but otherwise never. You need to understand what it is like wearing hearing aids if you are living with someone who does. It is not like just putting a pair of glasses on, it is forever challenging.

Dear Win, I have every sympathy with the person wearing the aids.
It breaks my heart that my DH can no longer listen to his music.
This is why I am researching ways to make life better for him.
And I am a bit deaf too, also have nhs aids.

loopyloo

Dear Win, I have every sympathy with the person wearing the aids.
It breaks my heart that my DH can no longer listen to his music.
This is why I am researching ways to make life better for him.
And I am a bit deaf too, also have nhs aids.

Thank you loopyloo (I love your name so many fond memories) and well done for persevering, I hope you find a way that benefits your DH and yourself of course yourself.

My mother in law became very deaf in her final years. She eventually had her hearing tested and was given hearing aids. She refused to use them because she said that if she put them in they just played an Australian soap opera! She was living in a home, rarely left her room, and couldn't hear anything that the carers said to her. She was never very sociable and just became more withdrawn because she couldn't join in with anything.

I've had hearing aids for some time and my main problem is that my son's voice is very low pitched and they don't really pick it up at all. They are fine for higher pitched sounds. If I ask him to repeat something he uses exactly the same tone and then complains because I still can't catch what he's saying.

Deedaa

My mother in law became very deaf in her final years. She eventually had her hearing tested and was given hearing aids. She refused to use them because she said that if she put them in they just played an Australian soap opera! She was living in a home, rarely left her room, and couldn't hear anything that the carers said to her. She was never very sociable and just became more withdrawn because she couldn't join in with anything.

I've had hearing aids for some time and my main problem is that my son's voice is very low pitched and they don't really pick it up at all. They are fine for higher pitched sounds. If I ask him to repeat something he uses exactly the same tone and then complains because I still can't catch what he's saying.

I've had hearing aids for some time and my main problem is that my son's voice is very low pitched and they don't really pick it up at all. They are fine for higher pitched sounds. If I ask him to repeat something he uses exactly the same tone and then complains because I still can't catch what he's saying.

Yes I find that too, I struggle in general with men's voices and dread them on the telephone when it is worse. Some of us have what is called reversed hearing loss, when we can't hear the low sounds, they can adjust your aids slightly accordingly but is is never good. I can only hear a very few letters clearly now.

The thing is, as I found out, t you hear with your brain and if you leave the aids out too long your ears will no longer work. That could lead to depression and even dementia according to the professionals.

I’ve worn a hearing aid from the age of 4, old fashioned box like with long cord with aid to ear! Had many moments being rebellious & hid it so as not to wear it. Eventually had the analogue type behind the ear - just one aid. Through school & teens, 20’s when older I could get by without it. Last 10-20 years have to rely on the 2 digital ones. Recently I now have the Bluetooth ones from NHS. They are marvelous for hearing at theatres etc providing you can get the WiFi. I would say for somebody always been a wearer of aid/s it took along time to get used to digital ones, so much noise, even if turned down then you cannot hear clearly. Apart from the benefits of Bluetooth ones for theatre, phone calls etc I think the analogue ones sounded better. I lip read too, no good anyone talking to me with their backs turned.

I so wish we had a like Botton, the last two posts are spot on.[thumbs up]

I'm really looking forward to getting an upgrade on my basic NHS aids. I'm getting some Bluetooth ones.
I struggled to wear mine for years because of itchy ears. I had itchy ears long before I had aids but I've found acure and it's transformative. It's not just a slight improvement it's total cure.
Betnovate scalp lotion. A few drops in the ears about once a month.
I found out by googling , some NHS audiologists recommended it. Luckily I already had the stuff on prescription for my scalp.

I hope he is retired at 86! Is there a reason he refuses to speak to you? Is it just you or ishe like this with everyone?

Mojack26

I hope he is retired at 86! Is there a reason he refuses to speak to you? Is it just you or ishe like this with everyone?

Brilliant thank you for thar tip I will get my GP onboard

Red riding hood the brilliant was meant for you

I showed the original post to my husband and asked if it rang any bells ! His 2 nd ( very expensive) lot of hearing aids live in his bedside drawer and rarely see the light of day ! He does talk, though but often misunderstands what people say.

I come from the other side of this problem as I am the one who is very deaf. I have had hearing aids for many years and persevered until I could wear them all day every day so I could hear. Mine connect to Bluetooth so phone calls on my mobile are perfect as is watching movies on the ipad with aids connected. However…….not all is rosy!!!! People insist on talking to me from another room so I need to drop everything and walk to them constantly. My husband has the tv going all day as background noise without him watching a program, that makes is very difficult to hear his conversation as I have two lots of sounds going in my ears together. People forget to face you as they speak, even though I have continually told them I’m very deaf they seem to think it only applies to the next sentence then I’m able to hear perfectly. It is hard to get others to realise this is a 24/7 problem not just for one conversation. My advice is to check that you are doing all you need to when speaking to your DH, face him, no background noises, clear articulation and reasonable pace of speech. I know it is very frustrating for both those who are deaf and their companions.