Should I start messaging instead of phoning?

She has said that she is more used to texting so obviously prefers that way of communicating, If it were me I would use text and leave it up to her if she wants to call, you have said that the calls are becoming strained, you dont want them to get worse.

I'm with you keepingquiet. I think it's a generation thing. I try to speak to my 4 about once a week but apart from my DS in NZ, the calls tend to be quite short. I need to hear their voices.

We have a family WhatsApp group which someone will add to several times a day; photos, videos, a shared joke, some football references etc.

But texting lacks the full meaning and occasionally someone gets upset and thinks they are being ridiculed.
Families eh? 😉

My DD much prefers using WhatsApp to phoning and I tend to feel the same. That way we can send short messages to each other throughout the day or not as we feel inclined. We do not need long conversations. I can update her with family news as it happens and she can tell me about the grandchildren if she so wishes.It works well for us and avoids longer phone calls at what could be inconvenient times. I like daily contact even though it is sometimes very brief.

I hardly speak to anyone on the phone these days . My Mum is very hard of hearing , so no point in ringing her . We text instead. My daughter , 32, never rings for a chat . It's all text messages

Elowen33

She has said that she is more used to texting so obviously prefers that way of communicating, If it were me I would use text and leave it up to her if she wants to call, you have said that the calls are becoming strained, you dont want them to get worse.

No I don't want them to get worse. I think I may just wait until she rings me or I can condense some rather complex things into a text- then I fear she may block me, lol!

Grammaretto

I'm with you keepingquiet. I think it's a generation thing. I try to speak to my 4 about once a week but apart from my DS in NZ, the calls tend to be quite short. I need to hear their voices.

We have a family WhatsApp group which someone will add to several times a day; photos, videos, a shared joke, some football references etc.

But texting lacks the full meaning and occasionally someone gets upset and thinks they are being ridiculed.
Families eh? 😉

I read that hearing a mum's voice has a positive impact even on adult children- but maybe sometimes it is the opposite- I know I didn't always appreciate my mum ringing me but she never picked up on my frustration- or maybe she ignored it. There was no texting then!

Testing doesn't hold enough nuance for me but maybe I should try it and see what happens? Something has to happen though, right? I don't think I'm one for just saying what I'm having for dinner... I find many text messages I get very annoying and frequently don't reply to them.

Debbi58

I hardly speak to anyone on the phone these days . My Mum is very hard of hearing , so no point in ringing her . We text instead. My daughter , 32, never rings for a chat . It's all text messages

So you don't have conversations?

Three grown up sons I text them and they ring me now and again they prefer it that way. I have to run with that.

We wattsapp a lot in our family but we also chat usually at weekends. I remember what it was like when I worked full time, raising two kids, studying and running a home. I didn’t always feel like a long chat in the evening. I wish I’d had wattsapp or texting in those days.

with WhatsApp you can send photos too,
I had a friend who liked to talk, when she phoned ,she went on and on.and that's ok if it's what you both want, I prefer whats app or email...

My main communication with my daughter in recent years has been via messenger. I like the way that people can reply at a time that suits them. I also like being able to refresh my mind about conversations we’ve had. However I can no longer do that now I’ve been locked out of Facebook on my iPad. I’ll always remember someone phoning me up when I was watching the end of the very last episode of The Killing and resolved never to inflict that on someone else.

Yes, we use Whatsapp for photos and stuff- quick messages.

I don't think I go on and on... maybe I do?

I can't imagine not speaking though- I'm often on the phone for ages with friends and other family maybe conversations just come naturally to us?

MayBee70

My main communication with my daughter in recent years has been via messenger. I like the way that people can reply at a time that suits them. I also like being able to refresh my mind about conversations we’ve had. However I can no longer do that now I’ve been locked out of Facebook on my iPad. I’ll always remember someone phoning me up when I was watching the end of the very last episode of The Killing and resolved never to inflict that on someone else.

Yes, that is annoying when you're in the middle of something, but usually I don't take the call and ring back. Or, just say can I ring you back in five? Or leave a voice mail...

It is equally annoying when someone sends a message when you're in the middle of something...

Maybe I'm just odd wanting to talk to people?

I find a quick phone call is more efficient that constant texting back and forth- it drives me nuts and I usually end up ringing them anyway...

I prefer texting all my family - news is exchanged via WhatsApp. I really prefer this way of communication - no worrying about time of day, whether they’re busy or not. They will always, at some point read the messages and will reply.
If it’s urgent ie child care, school pick up, I will get a call, for sure 😂

I’d ask my daughter.
My two ring and messenger.

Maybe you need to set a time limit rather than not phone? My Mil always used what was the free hour up to the last minute and honestly we often didn’t have that block of time to spare. Sometimes if we had a lot on my husband would say “Don’t answer the phone”.

I would speak with my parents three or four times a week for about 10 minutes. It was easy to find that small space of time and I didn’t hesitate to phone because I knew it wouldn’t be any longer.

My son who lives quite far away does a video chat once a week while he is walking the dog -I assume that saves him a bit of time and keeps us happy. Multi- tasking!

I don’t speak to many people on the phone now, the friends I used to chat to are sadly passed away. I have one friend who isn’t on the internet snd I speak to her weekly. My 92 years old sister likes a phone call but I have to wait while she sorts out her hearing aid. My eldest son will always answer his phone if I call him as he lives 70 miles away but he’s always very busy and can he call me back, which he never does. My daughter only sends text messages and not very often and they’re always brief. I do miss the chatty calls I used to have, it’s lovely to hear another human voice but we have to adapt to a new way of life now so texts it is.

keepingquiet

MayBee70

My main communication with my daughter in recent years has been via messenger. I like the way that people can reply at a time that suits them. I also like being able to refresh my mind about conversations we’ve had. However I can no longer do that now I’ve been locked out of Facebook on my iPad. I’ll always remember someone phoning me up when I was watching the end of the very last episode of The Killing and resolved never to inflict that on someone else.

Yes, that is annoying when you're in the middle of something, but usually I don't take the call and ring back. Or, just say can I ring you back in five? Or leave a voice mail...

It is equally annoying when someone sends a message when you're in the middle of something...

Maybe I'm just odd wanting to talk to people?

I find a quick phone call is more efficient that constant texting back and forth- it drives me nuts and I usually end up ringing them anyway...

Only once did I not answer the phone because I was busy and it turned out that my daughter had had a riding accident. And late night phone calls usually meant there was a health problem with one of the grandchildren and I had to drive over asap. ( one of them used to get croup on a regular basis). I’ve never sent a text . Don’t even know how to!

I have 2 AC and use WhatsApp for short messages and we phone at the weekend . I do the same for my sister and friends . I do prefer a phone call and recently phoned a friend to tell her about the death of a mutual friend and she was so appreciative and said how lovely it was to have phone conversation .

I was once chatting to someone on messenger and clicked something which turned it into a sort of phone call. I nearly died when I heard his voice. Thankfully I hadn’t accidentally clicked FaceTime although I was fully clothed at the time ( it was late at night post bath time…). It could have been very embarrassing.

But with WhatsApp you can FaceTime and that is really lovely. A quick text to see if other one is free first otherwise it can be very intrusive.

I WhatsApp chatter all day, back and forth with my friend in Spain and WhatsApp my family when I have something to say.
My son lives abroad and some days there will be a flurry of WhatsApp’s between us and sometimes he phones me when he needs to tell me something more, which I love as we always end up laughing about something or other.
My twin GD’s living in London FaceTime me occasionally while walking back from the gym, busy lives but it’s all great and I feel WhatsApp keeps me more connected to family and friends than phone calls to be fair, although I love to hear their voices now and then…

1 DD rings me almost every day. 1 DD texts and then usually rings when she’s got fed up of waiting for responses.
I usually text family first before I ring just to see whether they’re free or not.