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Do you remember the proposal?

(98 Posts)
Daddima Wed 03-Sept-25 16:57:00

Just watching Downton Abbey (again) and Lady Mary insisting Matthew do the whole ‘down on one knee’ thing, when I realised I have no recollection of the Bodach proposing to me!
I remember going to McGowan’s in Argyll Arcade to buy the ring, and going to the bank to open a joint account ( for the ‘saving up to get married’). but otherwise, nothing.
What about you?

TanaMa Thu 04-Sept-25 18:01:15

He was in the Fleet Air Arm ( Royal Navy) and we were on the Portsmouth to Gosport ferry. Bless him, he used the money he had been saving for a sports car, to buy my ring!! Then, of course, he insisted on asking my lovely Dad, who obviously realised what he was trying to do! His answer was 'Just as long as she isn't pushing a pram before you get married!!!' - not until 3 years later!!
Sadly, my lovely sailor is no longer with me.

Knittypamela Thu 04-Sept-25 15:56:50

We were in town and he stopped outside H. SAMUELS. He asked if I'd like to get engaged. I was shocked but before I knew it we were inside picking a ring. We had hardly any money and the ring was as cheap as they come. We went home and showed my mum who was doing the ironing. She was over the moon. 53 years later it all worked out well.

Grammaretto Thu 04-Sept-25 15:29:38

That's sad IamMaz. All the best to you.

CBBL Thu 04-Sept-25 15:25:36

No Romantic proposals at all - just statements such as “I think we should get married”, “Let’s get Married”. “When are you going to Mary me?” etc.
and there were FOUR!

Brightphoebus Thu 04-Sept-25 15:24:23

IamMaz

I remember. I wish I didn’t. It’s now 35 years later and he’s divorcing me. Nothing I can do.
😭😭😭

Ah IamMaz, I'm so sorry you're going through this

Brightphoebus Thu 04-Sept-25 15:16:33

So many of us from the same generation who made a joint decision to get married! My friends and I would have thought it very odd if a boy had gone down on bended knee which seems the awful norm now. We were the first generation to be liberated from all that, we women felt we were equals and surely all the big decisions had to be mutual ones.

In 1978 Mr BP and I decided to get married whilst hugging in the sea in Sicily as we really wanted a baby and knew our parents would have kicked up an awful fuss if we had gone ahead without. It seemed worth it at the time. We were the first in our cohort to do so (as mentioned by another poster as it wasn't the fashion at all at the time).. We were made fun of but quite a few others followed - and others fell by the wayside having held out against marriage but when things broke down did not have legal protection.
That baby is now 45. How did that happen?

IamMaz Thu 04-Sept-25 14:45:42

I remember. I wish I didn’t. It’s now 35 years later and he’s divorcing me. Nothing I can do.
😭😭😭

Mojack26 Thu 04-Sept-25 14:20:54

The 'Bodach'???? I got my engagement ring in McGowans in The Arcade,'83,as well. We just decided to get married. Got married'84

leeds22 Thu 04-Sept-25 14:15:17

We just sort of agreed to get married at a time which fitted round assorted children's schooling. 35 years later we are still going strong.

CariadAgain Thu 04-Sept-25 14:08:19

David49

It was actually quite a big thing I had to ask her father’s approval before she said yes, apparently granny liked me too. It proved to be a very supportive family to be part of.
My SIL did ask me if he could marry our eldest daughter too.

Very old fashioned by todays standards but it was over half a century ago

Shades of my father one time saying he wished we did arranged marriages here - as he would have liked to be able to choose someone he thought suitable for me LOL.

Implication being that he didnt think I was doing too well at selecting boyfriends myself...

He did duly select a man I didnt even know he'd met one time - ie a work colleague of mine from one of the jobs I had (cue for me thinking "He would approve of a fellow teacher - but he's evangelical Christian and so not suitable for me") and duly commented on the longest-serving boyfriend of mine "Yes....he's nice.....but not intelligent enough for you"....

David49 Thu 04-Sept-25 13:52:13

It was actually quite a big thing I had to ask her father’s approval before she said yes, apparently granny liked me too. It proved to be a very supportive family to be part of.
My SIL did ask me if he could marry our eldest daughter too.

Very old fashioned by todays standards but it was over half a century ago

Imarocker Thu 04-Sept-25 13:47:33

I think it was ‘we have to move be so we should get married’. Never got an engagement ring. Even after 57 years.

M0nica Thu 04-Sept-25 13:33:19

Reading this thread, casual agreements/drifting into marriage and long happy marriages seem to go together.

Possibly because we were all just recognising that the fundamentals were right and took it too seriously to make a song and dance aabout it.

CariadAgain Thu 04-Sept-25 12:54:50

whywhywhy

Which one? I’m onto husband Number 3!

The lot....all three....

I put them all - none of which I accepted (thankfully....).

Though it's nice to read that it all worked out well for many on here...

Luckygirl3 Thu 04-Sept-25 12:49:00

whywhywhy

Which one? I’m onto husband Number 3!

Is that why your name is whywhywhy!?

Luckygirl3 Thu 04-Sept-25 12:48:28

It was a mutual decision after a couple of pregnancy scares that defied contraception! A right Fyrtle Myrtle me!!

whywhywhy Thu 04-Sept-25 12:44:23

Which one? I’m onto husband Number 3!

silverlining48 Thu 04-Sept-25 12:35:13

Things were so simple then.

Daddima Thu 04-Sept-25 11:12:46

I have loved reading all these stories, and I love how ‘natural’ they all are. It seems today that things like an engagement ( maybe even after two or three children and living together for years) are all done with a view to being posted on social media, so it has to be as gimmicky as possible.

AGAA4 Thu 04-Sept-25 11:07:28

We were sitting on a bench in the park and he took my hand and said we should get engaged. No mention of getting married but we did several years later.

Usedtobeblonde Thu 04-Sept-25 10:28:29

My story echoes that of Gingster we met at school aged 16 and 15 and were together always after that.
It was just accepted that we would marry eventually which we did aged 22 and 21.
Married for 60 years and 8 months.
He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in his 70’s and I looked after him until the last 4 months of his life when his cancer was diagnosed and I visited every day but possibly two and was holding his hand when he died.
That was 6 and a half years ago.
A romantic proposal has never seemed missed or important.
Maybe I shall get that next time!!

GrannySomerset Thu 04-Sept-25 09:25:10

I don’t remember a proposal which is surprising because DH was a romantic. We just knew we were serious and decided to announce our engagement at Christmas. We were married for just short of sixty years and I miss him all the time.

Mollygo Thu 04-Sept-25 09:09:25

In the living room at DH’s house.
We were alone, and suddenly he did the one knee job. I was stunned, delighted and agreed promptly.

Gingster Thu 04-Sept-25 08:52:48

We were at a party and having the best time, I think I said to him, laughingly ‘Shall we get married’ and he said ‘why not’.
We were both 16! 😳.

Got engaged at 18 and married at 21. We’ve been together almost 60 years and married for 54 yrs.

NannyJan53 Thu 04-Sept-25 08:32:32

Sitting in my car after a date (he didn't drive at the time) he casually mentioned about buying an engagement ring. We were both students at the time, and only been together about a month. He found a job in the summer to pay for the ring. Foolishly had an engagement party on my 21st, so only one set of presents smile

9 years married and two children later, he left as he said he was gay! That was 1984, he is still with the same man he left me for then.