annoying neighbour

The Wierdo - eek!!! Is he from Afghanistan or somewhere like that?!!! Serious question...

I do think it’s funny - especially the heap of manure😂

He sounds like the bloke who lives at the end of our road……..complete busybody, knows it all, got it all, done it all…………but actually I soon discovered that he knows bugger all! Just likes the sound of his own voice so I’ve learned to zone out when he start pontificating.

Ignore him, let it go, life is too short

We are being driven insane in our usually quiet road by a new neighbour who is constantly revving up cars very loudly at all hours. I have contacted the council who tell me that the first step is to talk to him. My husband is 79, I am 76. This man is a big, burley, intimidating 20 something year old. That is never going to happen.

Maybe he is just trying to help. I don’t know anything about gardens but is he right? Why not listen and learn? Not worth falling out with a neighbour.

busybee6969 I'm sure you just want to get on with the job but, when you see him approaching, just turn round and go back indoors. When he's gone, go back out and get on. Every time he approaches just go in. He'll get the message eventually and look for someone else to bother.

I have been known to invite Jehovah Witnesses in for a good long chat about theology - they don't generally stay...

My former neighbour would come out whenever anyone was doing anything. I think he was just lonely. We listened, nodded without committing and carried on.

Ask him what his landscape gardening qualification is. If he can't tell you, say that he's obviously not qualified to advise you, but thanks anyway.

pably15

I hate folk like that,,,,they give their opinion whether you want it or not, or they say....now, what you should have done is..bla bla...

😂
Oh yes!
I know a couple of those, one is my dear Mum bless her 😁

If someone really knows what they are telling me I enjoy getting practical advice from them. If you still prefer doing the job your way then tell him so.

sandelf

I have been known to invite Jehovah Witnesses in for a good long chat about theology - they don't generally stay...

So have I. Some JW personnel are better informed than others. One good thing about them is they are good at Scripture.

As I said I enjoy being informed.

Oreo

pably15

I hate folk like that,,,,they give their opinion whether you want it or not, or they say....now, what you should have done is..bla bla...

😂
Oh yes!
I know a couple of those, one is my dear Mum bless her 😁

Maybe your mother knows more than you do on certain matters?

Kate1949

We are being driven insane in our usually quiet road by a new neighbour who is constantly revving up cars very loudly at all hours. I have contacted the council who tell me that the first step is to talk to him. My husband is 79, I am 76. This man is a big, burley, intimidating 20 something year old. That is never going to happen.

There may be a way of engaging his sympathy. (Give him a six pack of beer and ask him all about his beautiful machine.)

The certain matters are usually about cooking 😄which as a sixty something I have been doing for a very long time.I let her say of course and there are a few dishes which I encourage her to make as they’re superb ( and I can get on with something else while she happily cooks ). It’s just how some people are isn’t it? If I were to do that with my DD’s I’d be taking my life in my hands.😆

Yes, me too. As a ninety -something year old I have learned to shut up and say nothing

Mansplaining! Haven't these men got anything better to do with their time? It all sounds so petty and small-minded. I think you either have to ignore them or tell them very firmly to mind their own business.

Ear phones is the way to go . Especially if over the ears do he can see them .
Put on your fave book music radio prog or podcast .

We used to have a neighbour like that! I just used to say "Oh really!" and carry on with what I was doing with hmms and mmm etc. He got bored and stopped

Just say yes I tried that once and it didn't work.

Or, hand him the gardening tools and say, thanks, you do it for me.

Or tell him you're related to Monty Don or someone and say that's how they told you to do it.

Seriously, I think the advice to ignore him is best- don't feed him with conversation as he will just come back for more.

I'd be inclined to get the biggest headphones I can find (no need to plug them in) and get on with what you are doing...

Men like this are all too common, I have a few in my family.

Just wear some earphones (that aren’t plugged into anything!)….and gesticulate to your ears, then lose all eye contact and carry on.

Or pretend you are on a handsfree phone call and chat away to “the caller at the other end” 😃. Make the conversation adventurous!….”I want you to invest 5k now in that fund, I will call you tomorrow to invest in the other fund” and so on 😂

Caleo I don't think the beer would work. He is Muslim I think.

busybee6969

he is married i feel sorry for his wife his view on every subject is the right one in his eyes,

Well, perhaps he is like this, because she long since has told him to keep his ideas on things he knows nothing about to himself?

How else could the marriage survive?

I am struck by how quickly we choose to take the easy way out, such as being rude to drive him away, or being kind but then ignoring him, or pretending to be deaf so we don't have to relate to him.

The reality is that this neighbor is behaving inappropriately, causing stress in his neighborhood, but nobody seems to be holding up a mirror to him so he can learn and change.

I think the solution, if one is courageous enough and actually wants to create change, is to state how his advice is making you feel and perhaps to offer suggestions as to how he might approach people if he'd like his "advice" to be received more positively. You could even be playful and have him practice a few introductory words you've given as an example, such as "What a great job you are doing." (Start with a compliment.) "When I was doing a similar project I learned some tricks that I found very helpful. Would you like to hear about them?"

As he tries to practice these with you, you can point out if he's sounding too pushy, and you can also prepare him for the answer of "No, I'd rather not hear about your tricks right now."

Ideally, there would be self-awareness on his part and a new understanding and relationship between you. He may decide not to pester you any more, but the basis of this would have been good communication with a desire to understand each other instead of a blunt deterrent.