Very disrespectful 8 years old granddaughter.

Here parents need to address her behaviour.

It gets to sound like a cliche, but this sounds like ASD to me. She's the age where it starts to kick in. The lack of filter and saying exactly what she thinks sounds very familiar. How is her behaviour at school?

What are the consequences when she is so rude? Does she say those things in front of her parents? If so, what do they do? If not, have you told them what she says?
She's either a really nasty little girl who enjoys hurting others or she is a very unhappy child. Either way, you need to set boundaries. If either of my two spoke to me like that, I would take them straight home and tell their parents they weren't coming back until they apologized.

I'm sure I've read this before some time ago.

If the Search facility was working I could find it, the replies could help.

Unfortunately, it's not been working for some time.

Same thought Allira I too went to check - annoying isn’t it.

This has been posted before I am sure.

You need to tell her how she is making people feel and that her behaviour is very rude. She needs to know that if she goes round hurting people, there will be consequences and you need to make sure that there are.

I would not let a grandchild sleep with me and cuddle up anyway! a spoilt child.

This doesn’t hit me as true sorry

Thank you all for your comments. I have thought of ASD and will watch out for further signs. The situation is a little complicated because her parents are divorced and I am afraid because of this some people spoil her without limit. My son is away often because of his work so we have her every other weekend. Her mother does not communicate with us very much (or our son). We do not want the situation aggravated and being told that we can not longer see her. So, no we haven't told her parents. I know my son would be very upset and he has been through so much in the past couple of years I do not want to say anything to him yet. I am not sure how she behaves at school as her mother doesn't talk about it. As far as we know she's never been in trouble and she is a clever girl and a good student so far. She does not speak to me this way in front of other people. Since she "picks" on me for reasons unknown I have come to the conclusion that she resents me... for what? I don't know. I have been indulging her a lot due to the situation but I also have rules at home that she has to go by. I have observed that she also is demanding with her other grandma who behaves like a doormat with her, but I don't think she talks to her the way she talks to me. The other side of the family tends to baby her a lot. She doesn't seem unhappy to me. I hate to think she might have a mean streak. There is a history of bipolarity and instability on her mother side of the family. My husband and I are the only ones she knows who are still together, have a routine, house rules and so on. On the other side there has been multiple divorces/partners/moves and she does spend more time with them. It worries me that on the whole she seems indifferent to what goes on around her or to the feelings of others. I must admit ASD does sound more and more like a plausible explanation. Thank you again all. I actually have to go and pick her up now. WE will see how this weekend develops

Did you post this previously about a year ago or maybe less than that?
If this is the same post and is still a problem you need to speak to the parents and say that their daughter is displaying worrying behaviour and that perhaps she needs to be assessed so that this can be resolved for your GDs sake as well as everyone else’s.
If you are not that poster the same thing applies, this does not sound like simply naughty behaviour, or just your GD being disrespectful. As another poster has said it does sound like ASD.
All the best with this.

Sorry posted that as you posted your reply.

What is ASD??

To the person who says this doesn't hit her as true... well I wish all this wasn't true either as it breaks my heart that a little girl who only over a year ago was loving and sweet is now behaving this way. To answer other questions: yes we have told her she can't go around saying things that hurt people, but she doubles down and will say things like: "well that's the truth. That's how I feel". Her friend was very upset and shocked as he had been nothing but kind to her. We have been taking them to the beach and amusement park and he was so protective of her. It's as she doesn't notice when someone cares. We explained to her that she should have told her friend something like "I am sorry your grandpa got hurt or something to that effect"... anyway I am going on about this because obviously I am very affected by it, so being told here that my story is not true is the last thing I expected on this forum.

@Babs03. No it is the first time I post on this forum as I only discovered it last week. I tried to post my message last week but I only just joined and got a reply that it takes 2 days before I can post.

🤔

Given that she seems to be selective in the people she treats badly, I tend to think it's not ASD. You admitted yourself that you indulge her a lot as a result of the family situation - and that could be your answer.

She is undoubtedly hurting because of the instability, but that's no reason she gets a get out card to treat you as she wants. If anything, she needs clearer boundaries when she's staying with you. When those boundaries are established - and it's clear that you are the adult - you might find that she starts trusting you more with her problems.

She needs to know that if you treat people civilly, generally they'll treat you civilly back. On the other hand - however much you love her, she doesn't get to treat you badly.

That’s ok sometimes posts can be similar.

Her lack of empathy and no filter on what she says shouts autism spectrum to me. Her parents need to have a chat with her teachers and GP in the first instance.
Having said that I have a granddaughter with a Mum doing gentle parenting. No rules, no boundaries have resulted in no manners and she is not autistic.
You need to check all possibilities before you can start to make a difference.

Welcome Vargirl183. It’s a difficult situation - perhaps it’s just a phase she’s going through.
You’re in America, aren’t you? The word ‘gotten’ gives it away. Welcome all the same ….

Vargirl83

@Babs03. No it is the first time I post on this forum as I only discovered it last week. I tried to post my message last week but I only just joined and got a reply that it takes 2 days before I can post.

Wait 2 days?
Is this right? /something new?

Hello Vargirl, I am at a loss why your granddaughter is being as she is. She has no empathy and says what she thinks, very often unkind, which isn't right. I take it you have had a conversation with her parents about it because it won't just be with you she's like it. I know nothing of ASD,,those that do seem to think it fits. It's so upsetting forvyou all.

Could it be that she's testing the boundaries?
Pushing you to see how far she can go, how much she can get away with?

You can understand her confusion with her world, but it doesn't mean you have to let her get away with this behaviour.
Be that stable, grounding base for her.

Whether she is autistic or not may be a reason but it's not an excuse, the rest of the world won't make allowances.

BlueBelle

This doesn’t hit me as true sorry

With you 100%!