Family

Monica thanks for saying that. I have several friends who have become quite resentful because of the demands that their children put on them. When I suggest they just say no, they are clearly worried that they will "upset" their children and it will affect their relationship. People might say "get some hobbies", spend more time with your OH" etc but none of that improves a relationship which has become unbalanced. That's why IMO it's important to put effort and time into managing and renegotiating the relationship changes that occur as your children become older and independent and it's important to find things that connect you and enhance your relationship and ensure that you actually enjoy spending time together. I'm afraid that going to the supermarket doesn't do it for me.

Foxie48 The difficulty is these problems start in childhood with parenting styles, these mothers devote themselves to their children and put their interests first when they are small and this gets carried into adulthood and you end with entitled children.

I worked on the basis that we were a family and at different times in different situations all of us had to give way to other family members priorities and in turn we would also get priority.

I spent my late afternoons driving them to classes and to visit friends and for two years they had get up earlier one day a week in school terms and have breakfast with friends and go there after school because I was doing a day release course that would give me improved professional skills that meant I got me a better paid job, from which they benefitted.

Monica I don't think OP's children are entitled, they're just busy and she's missing their company.

"I'm terrified of losing our closeness because of the lack of quality time together."

I think this is a common problem even in families where there are good relationships which is why I feel it's important to be able to talk to our children about how we feel and negotiate with them.