Paternity leave to be financed

My DP had 2 weeks paid leave for each of my 3 AC ...eldest now 35 ...he worked for local authority....he was very hands on ...I'm 60 now

My DH took a week's holiday leave when our daughter was born and then 2 weeks for our son as I'd had placenta previa throughout the pregnancy, resulting in an emergency c-section and a blood transfusion. My own mum still worked full time and my mil lived too far away and was much older, so I'm very much in support of paternal leave.

Norah

Yes, my husband has always been engaged with our children.

A father can be engaged with his children even if paternity leave was not the norm years ago and even if he had to spend time working away from home.

Cossy

Norah

Cossy Not really sure why OP considers this “beyond ridiculous” in her her husband’s case, but many of us have very hands on husbands.

Rules are changing, I support the leave provisions.

Yes, I’m aware of this, but the rules are only changing in terms of being able able to claim paid paternity leave from day one, paid paternity leave has been in place for several years.

paid paternity leave has been in place for several years.

I was wondering what was new about this.

No, he was busy preparing a ship for sea then sailed a week after DC1 was born. Away for four months.
At least he met the baby first!
Luckily my parents stayed for a while.

My husband took an unpaid sabbatical to be around for the first few months.
Unpaid? 😲

Looking back cossy, it really didn’t occur to me to ask for help, which by today’s standards does seem ridiculous. I grew up without a father so perhaps I just had no idea that fathers could help. This was fifty three years ago and thank goodness things have changed. At the time I wasn’t alone, I don’t think any of my friend’s husbands were very involved.

Summerlove

^Personally I don’t support paternity leave unless there are special circumstances. Guess I’m just old school.^

GrannyIvy

For the life of me, I cannot understand this attitude. It’s seems very much of. I struggled so women today should also struggle.

It is quite a common reaction though, the wish to see today's mothers struggle because they themselves struggled.
I don't understand it either.

My Dh took annual leave or arranged shifts around when I had our babies. I think what’s different nowadays is that new mothers leave hospital so very quickly, even after a CS, often without breastfeeding being properly established. Nor do midwives visit daily like they used to. From my DD and DIL’s experience, they only visit every three days or so and sometimes even that is merely a phone call.

Mums need someone at home to care for them, their own mums might not live near or might still be working or have care duties towards their own parents.

I think it’s a cost the government should pick up, though, and not burden businesses with it.

But it's it good that women have the choice now - both whether to work or not, or even whether to have children at all?

I am not saying I struggled so want others too at all but just saying the men worked and the women stayed at home to care for the children back then. I took seven years off work and loved every minute. It is different today because many women have careers and cannot take time away or afford too. It is just a very different world now

Personally I don’t support paternity leave unless there are special circumstances. Guess I’m just old school.

GrannyIvy

For the life of me, I cannot understand this attitude. It’s seems very much of. I struggled so women today should also struggle.

Excellent. Our first was born in 1995. My husband took an unpaid sabbatical to be around for the first few months. They became incredibly close, still are. Everyone should have the same opportunity.

I for one think it's a great thing. My husband, although he worked shifts, was a very hands-on dad, and my son has been the same with his two children. I thought attitudes had changed, but it seems from here that not everyone has. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have family close enough to help out - or may not have family who want to be involved, or who they want to be involved.

I gave birth in the early 80s. My DH used holidays to have time off and of course he helped as much as he could- although he drove me nuts at times.
Welived a fair distance from family, but friends and neighbours helped out as they did back then.

I completely support parental leave and find OPs viewpoint very mean-spirited.

My SiL is a very hands on dad and this only enriches the family life especially as he is a great role model for his two sons.

My son is equally a very hands on dad even though he now only sees his DD once a week.

I was born in the late 50s and recall my dad mucking in to help when needed- cooking meals and washing clothes were not beyond or beneath him.

OP reveals a ceratin attitude that because it was like this for me then it should be the same forever.

Good job the Victorians didn't have this attitude!

Had my daughters in 1978, 1980 and 1984 no paid paternity leave . I was in hospital 2 days each time and DH took one weeks holiday from the day I came home. My mum was able to look after the other children until then .
I’m trying to decide if it would have good to have him home for longer. 😁

I had my children in 1979 & 1984. I was in hospital 10 days with my first and 5 days with my second and that was the norm then. My mum then came to stay for a week each time. My DH has always been a good dad but not very hands on in the early days and he took no time off work it wasn’t allowed then unless you took holiday. However he has been a very hands on Grandad since retiring. Things are very different now. Personally I don’t support paternity leave unless there are special circumstances. Guess I’m just old school.

Cossy

Norah

Cossy Not really sure why OP considers this “beyond ridiculous” in her her husband’s case, but many of us have very hands on husbands.

Rules are changing, I support the leave provisions.

Yes, I’m aware of this, but the rules are only changing in terms of being able able to claim paid paternity leave from day one, paid paternity leave has been in place for several years.

It's well past time for paid paternity leave from day one.

Bazza as paid paternity leave has been around already for years and prior to that unpaid paternity leave existed, I’m sure this won’t have too much of an impact on small businesss. People said the same when paid maternity leave was introduced.

Norah

Cossy Not really sure why OP considers this “beyond ridiculous” in her her husband’s case, but many of us have very hands on husbands.

Rules are changing, I support the leave provisions.

Yes, I’m aware of this, but the rules are only changing in terms of being able able to claim paid paternity leave from day one, paid paternity leave has been in place for several years.

silverlining48

My two were born second half of the 70 s. We only had 2 weeks annual work leave in those days and my dh saved all of his annual leave both times and took it when I came home from hospital.
With most people today having up to 6 weeks leave I don’t understand why 3 or 4 can’t be saved for the weeks after a baby is born. I believe there already is a paid two weeks paternal leave.
Yes we couldnt have a holiday those years but didn’t really have the money to go away anyway.

Aw, what a lovely husband/Dad

Cossy Not really sure why OP considers this “beyond ridiculous” in her her husband’s case, but many of us have very hands on husbands.

Rules are changing, I support the leave provisions.

My two were born second half of the 70 s. We only had 2 weeks annual work leave in those days and my dh saved all of his annual leave both times and took it when I came home from hospital.
With most people today having up to 6 weeks leave I don’t understand why 3 or 4 can’t be saved for the weeks after a baby is born. I believe there already is a paid two weeks paternal leave.
Yes we couldnt have a holiday those years but didn’t really have the money to go away anyway.

So sorry that should read, I’m 67, not in 67!

Also in 67, possibly a generational thing? All my cousins and friends had “hands on” husband/partners with both children and housework.

Paternity leave has been about for quite a while now it’s only the rules that are changing.
I certainly don’t see it as beyond ridiculous not everyone has a mother there ready and willing to help (most are probably still working themselves) My husband was a bit different he didn’t need to ask for leave as he was a Company Director and could easily fit in more time at home. My mum was also easily able to move in for a week to sort out all the household stuff.
Especially if you have had a C section you are going to need help
Things change when I was born my mum was in the Maternity home for 2 weeks! Nowadays you can be out of hospital within hours.