Son in law

Years ago I had a friend whose DH sounds very like your SiL.
I once overheard a neighbour calling him a man 'with no arms' which made me smile.
My friend used to say he would go out on his own with a fiver and come home with twenty quid.
When she went out with her friends she used to prepare everything he needed for the kids, and made him a flask so he didn't even need to make himself a drink! This was obviously in the days before mobiles.
Needless to say the marriage didn't last (he was having an affair with the babysitter) and I get the sense from these posts that OP's daughters marriage will not stay the course either.

Sod him next year. Just book a table for the girls. If he moans, hard cheese!

When I had my two 20 months apart I didn’t have a car so had to manage them on public transport which is much harder but not impossible.
I know it’s easy to get upset and do understand but as I said upthread it’s up to your dd to sort this out. She is either happy with him and tolerates his behaviour or she isn’t and she doesn’t.
I hope you had an enjoyable day, probably all the better for his absence.

Shimmer

Yes we have gone without him but its quite a struggle for my daughter having a baby and toddler to handle

But you were going to be there too to help.
It sounds as if it would be more enjoyable without him anyway.

Mind you, perhaps having a meal at home might have been easier than taking out a baby and toddler and trying to enjoy yourselves too.

silverlining48

When I had my two 20 months apart I didn’t have a car so had to manage them on public transport which is much harder but not impossible.
I know it’s easy to get upset and do understand but as I said upthread it’s up to your dd to sort this out. She is either happy with him and tolerates his behaviour or she isn’t and she doesn’t.
I hope you had an enjoyable day, probably all the better for his absence.

Yes, same here. In fact DH was away much of the time, although when he was away I did have the car. Swings and roundabouts.

Perhaps if your daughter cares she'll speak to him.

If not, maybe they'll continue as they are. Daughter with you, him with his friends, which actually may suit their marriage well.

Not yours to solve. I'm sorry he made you angry.

REPORTED Jessicabrown

Obviously your daughter needs a sit down chat with him, as if it often happens there’s a problem, I get it that you’re not ‘too fond’ of him, perhaps he senses this and preempts it by not attending but hasn’t the guts to say why !
What rearranging was needed You just go minus one ..no problem I would have thought your daughter and babies would have enjoyed Mother’s Day better without him in tow, why do men need to be tagged into this kind of jaunt.She may have a baby and toddler but you’re two women surely the two of you can manage them at a table .
To be realistic is it the best Mother’s Day outing with two little ones in tow.
Maybe you have too high expectations of ‘happy family’ mode.