Gransnet forums

Relationships

Son in laws behaviour on Mothers day of all days

(82 Posts)
ceejayjay Sun 15-Mar-26 16:16:32

How would people feel if a Son in law, been in my life 12 years dropped off gifts with my Daughter, whilst they were on the way back from somewhere and never even looked up from his phone when he was outside my front door sat in the car just yards away. So basically Im at the door talking to Daughter and granddaughter and he is head down, scrolling his phone and dosnt look up let alone acknowledged me. Extremely hurtful when i try to do what I can for them and its put a downer on my day.

Doodledog Mon 16-Mar-26 12:29:40

Fair enough - I hadn't thought of it like that. It just seemed like the thread was turning against the OP unnecessarily, but I take your point.

Jaxjacky Mon 16-Mar-26 12:28:08

I think people are responding to the first sentence Doodledog ‘How would people feel’

Doodledog Mon 16-Mar-26 11:57:24

It doesn't really matter whether it would bother other posters, it bothered the OP, and I think that dragging up previous posts about her MH is horrible.

I'm sorry it put a downer on your day, OP. I hope you've been able to take a step back now and aren't so hurt. Maybe your SIL knew you'd be working and wouldn't have time to chat, so left it to your daughter?

Autumncolours Mon 16-Mar-26 11:50:52

It wouldn’t bother me. I think it’s lovely that they made the effort to drive round to your house. I would expect, once a daughter becomes a mum herself, that the focus is on her day with her children. I had some lovely Mothering Sundays when they were young but I’ve had my time. Sending a card or flowers to Granny is wonderful - you are very lucky that you received a visit. Did they visit the husband’s mum too?

Basgetti Mon 16-Mar-26 11:29:27

InRainbows

I must say, I would not have noticed, my focus would be on the daughter bringing gifts on what is now an important day for her as well.

Agree. You’re not his mother . If they knew you were working, it was clearly a flying visit. Wouldn’t bother me.

MartavTaurus Mon 16-Mar-26 08:35:20

And they would know that Sarnia isn't Sarina! 🤣

MartavTaurus Mon 16-Mar-26 08:33:15

ceejayjay

Wow that’s a low blow do people go checking up on old posts to see if they can find any dirt ?

That's not really fair.
People on GN are often quite astute at recognising other posters' names and what they have said in the past.

Sarnia Mon 16-Mar-26 08:32:11

ceejayjay

Sarnia

Perhaps to have invited them all in would have been nice. Cup of tea and a chat rather than stand on the doorstep. Maybe if he thought your welcome was a bit chilly towards your daughter, he was doing the same.

Thanks for repeating yourself Sarina

My pleasure.

ceejayjay Mon 16-Mar-26 08:29:53

Wow that’s a low blow do people go checking up on old posts to see if they can find any dirt ?

ceejayjay Mon 16-Mar-26 08:28:33

Sarnia

Perhaps to have invited them all in would have been nice. Cup of tea and a chat rather than stand on the doorstep. Maybe if he thought your welcome was a bit chilly towards your daughter, he was doing the same.

Thanks for repeating yourself Sarina

petra Mon 16-Mar-26 08:28:18

ceejayjay

Redhead56

There is history with this relationship it's obvious there is more to it.

Is there ?

You have mentioned your mental health in some posts, including your agoraphobia.
Maybe your son in law has a problem understanding and accepting this.

ceejayjay Mon 16-Mar-26 08:23:48

And no we don’t get tea breaks. One 30 min lunch on ten hour shift

ceejayjay Mon 16-Mar-26 08:23:07

Last post was reply to Sarina

Jfyi my family are always more than welcome to come in for a cups & do so often Thankyou

ceejayjay Mon 16-Mar-26 08:20:23

It was her choice they was on there way somewhere ? Omg the amount of judgement with people making up facts. I would have loved her to have been able to come in and yes I do get 30 mins lunch but they called too late for me to take lunch at that time as my work has rules!

Sarnia Mon 16-Mar-26 08:04:35

ceejayjay

Sarnia

Perhaps to have invited them all in would have been nice. Cup of tea and a chat rather than stand on the doorstep. Maybe if he thought your welcome was a bit chilly towards your daughter, he was doing the same.

As ive said i was working a 10 hour shift from home hence the door drop

I wouldn't leave my daughter and granddaughter standing on the doorstep, no matter what. Even working from home gives you time for a tea break and lunch. Your SIL maybe feels your welcome wasn't much of a welcome.

ceejayjay Mon 16-Mar-26 06:56:49

Redhead56

There is history with this relationship it's obvious there is more to it.

Is there ?

Redhead56 Mon 16-Mar-26 00:40:23

There is history with this relationship it's obvious there is more to it.

MT62 Sun 15-Mar-26 23:25:45

Yes I can well believe it. We have someone who’s joined the family who’s just like that.
Also what I find rude is getting thanked second hand for presents that I have bought for that person.

Deedaa Sun 15-Mar-26 22:29:37

Sounds like my late husband. He used to spend a lot of time sitting in the car. He could never see the point of coming to make a bit of small talk. He was the same with his own parents.

ceejayjay Sun 15-Mar-26 22:21:29

Thankyou for all your replies, yes this is normal for him it’s clear he dosnt like me and that’s fine. I felt upset with the situation today as I kept looking to catch his eye so I could smile & wave as that comes natural to me

ceejayjay Sun 15-Mar-26 22:16:26

Sarnia

Perhaps to have invited them all in would have been nice. Cup of tea and a chat rather than stand on the doorstep. Maybe if he thought your welcome was a bit chilly towards your daughter, he was doing the same.

As ive said i was working a 10 hour shift from home hence the door drop

petra Sun 15-Mar-26 21:17:27

Addicted to his phone: simple as.
I don’t think some people realise how big a thing this is.
I am well aware of how ridiculous that sounds but it’s real.

paddyann54 Sun 15-Mar-26 20:59:14

It’s an over commercialised day.I,dmuch prefer my family not to spend their hard earned cash on things I don’t need and tell them so.
My son and DIL arrived with flowers and cards and a parcel from my daughter who has her very recently widowed FIL staying with her.
It’s not something that would worry me if I never received a present or card ever again. They speak to us daily or pop in when they are passing that’s what’s important.Not cards or gifts.My mum used to say don’t bring flowers when I,m dead spend time with me while I,m alive

TheSunRisesInTheEast Sun 15-Mar-26 20:54:42

Put these in your vase, Sarahr 💐 x

Sarahr Sun 15-Mar-26 20:49:58

Such a sad fact of life now. The phone has taken away friendliness.
Even if he was giving you time with your dd and gd it wouldn't have hurt to get out of the car, wish you a Happy Mother's Day, then excused himself so you had mum and daughter/Granddaughter time. On the other hand, maybe you could have gone over and asked him in.
I'm glad your daughter and Granddaughter made time for you.
Sadly, I have an empty vase on the mantlepiece.