I am seeking some advice/different point of view. I have been divorced for twenty years and have three grown up sons. My ex wife and I have not spoken in all that time and my three sons have had to navigate this situation when it comes to Christmas etc.
Although I don't see much of my boys, they live away from me and have busy lives but we do chat via a Whattsapp group regularly. I have a good relationship with the two younger sons however, regretfully my relationship with my eldest son is somewhat strained. This stems back to when I first got divorced and he came and lived with me after the split. Things weren't always harmonious (dad/teenage son angst). I don't have any problem with him at all but I seem to only have to say, 'hello' to him and it winds him up. Although I am saddened by this, I have accepted it.
So here's the thing. He lives in New York and has recently announced he is getting married. The plan is to have the ceremony over there and then come over to the UK to celebrate their marriage with everyone here. He told me he has booked lunch in in London for me and his brothers and partners (and I assumed he would be doing the same for his mum). I accepted this with good grace and looked forward to it. I have since discovered that my other two sons and their partners and my granddaughter have also been invited to the main event in New York and so has their mother.
I'm quite saddened and depressed by this and feel yet again, like an afterthought. I don't know whether to just accept his invitation to lunch in London and say nothing or to speak to him about it which could potentially make are relationship worse. If he feels he can't invite me to his wedding, for whatever reason/s, I don't feel inclined to be wined and dined separately at a later date.
Thanks
